I think every year that day will get easier. That day is tomorrow but I find myself falling apart today. I am a broken person who has been put back together with the glue of God. But it still hurts so much. I am living a double life. One who grieves you and your brother being gone and another life that is here with your sister and her kids. Enjoying their beautiful childhood and grateful she is here with me. But Damn, we sure wish you were here too. I will never forget your laughter, your love, your beauty. Inside and out. So, I walk this divided road knowing that a part of me will always wish you were here and another one that enjoys my beautiful life and blessings but always with that lingering guilt that I should have been able to save you, but I couldn’t. I WILL love you. Always.
dellartista 
❤
I understand. Our own “anniversary” is coming in May. And I dread that day.
No matter what they say, or what we do, there can be no solace. We just plod our way along. I always think “Oh. He would have enjoyed this so much.” “Oh. Someone is missing here.” I guess all we can hope is numbness and take care of the living…
Hugs.
Thank you so much hugs to you too! Everything you wrote was spot on!