Life is beautiful but scary and sad but good.
Love is blind, hard, beautiful and needed.
Happiness is what we make it or how we break it.
I am an emotional roller coaster on this journey and it is crazy.
This world is just an exotic place with so many exotic, unique people
And we are all filled with so many different thoughts, feelings
emotions and words.
Some of us never seem to have a bad day while some of us strive to get
Anxiety, pain, hurt or depression.
Others are always laughing and happy and it seems never bothered by
But I think deep down we all experience many of these emotions, we
just live them in a different way.
Whew! Want to have your heart rate soar and sweat pour all over you and just feel like you cannot catch a breath? Come visit us here in mud Ga. and it is a guarantee! OMGOSH! heat index today is 105 to 110 degrees. If I didn’t have anxiety I would now. Geez. We have 10 months of Summer here, two months of winter, depending on the year. Rarely without the benefit of snow but there is a southern touch that makes us all stay here I guess. lol. Occasionally we do get two days of Spring and maybe, just maybe, a week of Fall. OUCH! So that is my day in Georgia. hahaha.
Julian and Jon pulled into their house and Jon jumped out of the truck, as usual, while Julian carefully took his time getting his satchel out. Although identical twins in appearance, their body build, and personalities were nothing alike. While Julian was casual, tall, and slim, studious and a bit reserved like his dad, Brian, Jon was stockier from playing football and zoomed like a hurricane, taking on his mother Helens personality. So, it was no surprise to Julian a few minutes later when Jon came tearing out of the house while Julian was still getting organized. The difference was the yelling.
“Go, go, go, go!” Jon was screaming, and blood was running down his arm. “Get in the truck, NOW!” Julian got in, confused as Jon ran to the passenger door and jumped in. Julian saw his mother stand at the open door, blood drooling from her mouth. “What’s wrong with mom”?
“Just go, Julian, before she goes crazy again! She bit me!”
Julian looked over at his brother confused but when their mother started toward them, he backed the truck up and headed out the drive.
“Jon, we need to get her help! That is our mom! What happened?”
Jon was looking at a bite on his arm. “No helping her bro, she has turned zombie, now go!”
Julian would have laughed except for the bite on his brother’s arm. “Jon, she is not a zombie. She is a nurse. You watch too many zombie flicks”. Jon looked over at Julian. “Seriously? Did you see her eyes? Like all black and weird man and I walked into the kitchen and she came up behind me and took a bite out of my arm. Crap, I am probably gonna turn.”
Julian rolled his eyes. “She is not a freaking zombie and you are not going to turn into anything unless you turn any weirder than you already are”.
Jon brushed his black hair from his eyes. “Oh really, well explain to me then what just happened? Jon looked at his brother. “She is a zombie. I am telling you she turned. And dad is probably in there somewhere waiting for somebody to chomp on.” Their dad worked from home three days a week and this was one of the days he was supposed to be home.
Julian shook his head. “Dad is probably in town getting something for dinner. But we will go to the hospital and get your arm checked.”
Jon shook his head. “No freaking way. If mom was there today and she was or at least she was headed there this morning when we all left so the whole place has probably turned. Take me to urgent care and hurry before I turn.”
Julian rolled his eyes again. “Get a grip dude. I mean” … but before he could finish they saw a man standing in the road and as Julian swerved to miss him, they recognized their dad when they got close.
It has been really stressful but I am keeping the panic at bay. I have staying busy and I work on my fairies, exercise, write on my zombie book and do my prayer and meditations! But if I were to say I am not having anxiety at all that would be a lie but at least I am keeping it at a point where I can at most times control it! I am good with that. I have had several days of stress but I keep plugging at it and I am not having to add that extra 1/4 that I cut off but twice. So thanks for all of your support fellow bloggers and friends and I hope your days are doing great as well!
Sop FAR, to day I am beating the panic. So far. That will have to do for now. But hey, it is almost three in my area of the woods so that is a plus! I even had a break down moment thinking of my angels who left me. My son, My daughter and my nephew. 2 days, Ryan, 23 Nikki and Kyle 13. But I am trying and I exercising and I listen to music and I and I work and I just do it. I usually would have had anxiety by this point. But I held it off! Any progress beats no progress! Thanks for being here my fellow bloggers & friends!
Today has been frustrating! I just need to vent. I am blessed and I appreciate all the beautiful things in my life but I get so agitated when the anxiety level rises and ugh! I have still stuck to my tiny cut back on meds for anxiety but then I deal with the stress. YES I LOVE that I am doing it but when the stress hits it just get so agitating!
I just want to be able to handle this without having to run and take something for anxiety. I am sticking to that tiny cut back but I swear it seems every time I try things go haywire. I know it is just life but omgosh! On the upside, I AM handling it. lol. Sorry. Did not mean to be a downer today but I share the Good, the Bad and the Ugly and the Beautiful and the Happy and the Sad. Thank you for hanging with me when I do!
Okay fellow friends and bloggers. As I go along, I am trying to wean off just a tiny bit on my anxiety meds. I am not on a huge dose and I have kept them the same for almost five years. But I am trying to use my other methods (prayer, meditation, yoga, etc.)to go along with it. Last night went okay even during a stress full situation.
So I will try cutting that dose again this evening. I know it will be a journey that may not be easy but I want to get me back. I know this is a struggle and I know I have to be logical about it but I try anything I can to try and work out this situation. I also know my brain is all in how I train it. But life is filled with anxiety so I also know to tread this carefully! So, just trying. 🙂