I always think of you. That is just a given. But today, the Sun came out and I thought of your beautiful smile and your laughter that lit up a room. You were such a beautiful soul and you always made people happy. You loved life, you loved every. single. aspect. of it. You were the Sun on a rainy day and the World is a lonelier place without you. The only good thing is that you do not have to see what is going on and live with it. This virus would have scared you so much. But you are safe my sweet child and nothing can harm you anymore. Not a virus, not bullies and your memory shines on through it all. I love. you. always. Love, Mom.
Love can be one of the most beautiful things in the world.
It is so much a part of us and we want to hold it close.
It embraces us, holds us, makes us smile.
It challenges us and it forms us and it molds us.
Who we are, what we are, how we react.
But when love breaks or was never there
It can destroy us and tear us apart.
It can make us feel like we are a sinking ship
Falling prey to the massive waves of sorrow.
It can start in childhood or it can happen when we are young or even when we are old.
Such a powerful emotion. With the ability to hold us together or tear us apart.
Sometimes beautiful sometimes harsh
A sought after jewel
So hard to find the real one.
It is happy, sad, chaotic calm.
It is hurt, pain reality check.
Love can be beautiful if you find the right one.
Love can be Hell if you choose the one not meant to be.
you don’t understand me
I don’t understand you.
You can never see…
What I’m goin through.
I can always try
to get us above it all
But I feel like we
Are backed against a wall.
Because no matter
how much we are going through,
I don’t understand me.
You don’t understand you. Copyright 2020 L.S. Rockel
Living with Panic and Anxiety and being an Empath/ Discerner is no easy task let me tell you. So, I do use Yoga as a way of releasing it. Yes, I stay on beginner level at times because my energy has been zapped so I do that and it slowly works me back up by easing the anxiety, emotional vampirism and panic. BUT, it is very hard at times. I also use my Tai-Chi to level me out as well as prayer. I find all forms help me to find a balance in the crazy world of my mind. I am blessed but I am constantly on guard. So, for those who may suffer these trials as well as me, try this as a means of escape. It really does work! Have a great day/night wherever you are1
Christmas morning was just blah. I felt depressed, anxious, alone and my husband felt the same. Then, out of nowhere my sister called. she lives about an hour away but she was having a kind of blah day too. She and her girls invited us up. At first I didn’t want to go but then we said, “why not?” and we packed up some stuff to make spaghetti, our Trivial pursuit game and off we went.
We got there and hubby made dinner and we all worked together. My niece’s boyfriend showed up. As Christmas songs played on the radio, we played and laughed and just had some of the things I said I had been searching for in Christmas. It was a wonderful time and we had fun without phones or electronics. Just people, together, laughing and spending time together. What a beautiful time it turned out to be. I hope all of you had a wonderful day too!
I am looking because I need you Christmas. I think I found you when I saw a little girl smiling. A tree lit with beautiful lights. A manger scene on the hill by a home. I saw you in a man giving someone food who was hungry. I feel you in the laughter of families. I saw you in snowflakes and snow falling in a video. I hear you in the music and the chiming of bells. I am looking this year more than ever because I need to have the feeling and the spirit of the joy. But this year I am looking for you in different ways by looking at the world around me. Seeing people join together and strangers smiling at each other, the kiss from a puppy, the meow of a kitten. A stray who finds a home. Homeless who find shelter. But most of all, I am looking for you in my own heart. That is where I need you the most. Merry Christmas Everyone!