It has been really hectic the last couple of months and I have not have time to write. I could have written something but I write from my life and my heart so it would not have been anything other than post to fill the day. Obviously today is a day to pour out my feelings as I guess is obvious from my on and on post. lol. But I am just getting out some feelings that I can now sit down and enjoy writing about. I am so glad for this page and so blessed to have a place to come when I need refuge. Writing for me is very much a heart thing. From sharing life to photos to Art, each one is a special thing for me to express. I love to read other blogs and I do that many times if I cannot write. It is just an incredible release from all of life in general. Her, I can be me and not be judged. I can laugh and enjoy other blogs as well as opinions, art and photos. I can cry with those in sorrow and enjoy those who are feeling good. This is a beautiful World right here in this Word press land. Have a great day/evening wherever you are.!
I am very amazed at my kitten, Emerald. The World of animals fascinates me because everyday I see more and more just how much they are not just cats and dogs or other species. They are creatively unique and I love that. Back to Emerald. I have a beautiful GSD Raven, that loves people, her companion and my other beautiful GSD Nitro. She is smart and very protective. but, she hates cats and any other animal that ventures into the backyard, a large fenced in area and she kills them. The other ight when I was feeding Nitro and Raven, my beautiful brave and stubborn Emerald, slipped out the door I did not realize I had not fully shut. Needless to say Raven went after her and I tried to get this strong determined dog away from my kitten as she tried to attack her. I did get Emerald and took her in but the damage seemed it might be too much. Fortunately, her rescue was quick enough that she just got a bruised muscle in her back leg but she was in shock. Per instructions, she was comforted, left alone to rest except for comfort petting. It has been three days and this morning, I saw her go into the kitchen where she went to the back door and stared at Raven through the glass. she faced her Giant and her fear and she just sat there. I was amazed. Raven saw her and was barking but Emerald just rested there until I guess she felt okay. What an amazing World of animals we live with.
You have to be one to understand one. The pain and hurt of feeling how others are smiling at you and then talking behind your back. Having few friends because no one wants to know that someone can read them or know the fake people who are so loved by others. There are good and bad people in life and there always have been. Empath/discerners are different in the fact that they cannot help the fact that they feel other’s feelings, sense when they are being scoffed at and just in general see the World in a scope that other’s do not. either way, it is a difficult road but the up side is that I am real. I am honest, and I will be the most loyal person you can ever have on your side. Have a great day/ evening wherever you are fellow bloggers!
So many times I have wondered why trying to be good to others makes you their doormat to stomp on. I guess it is because we put other’s hearts before our own. I do not want to be a person who finds relief from my own anger, frustration and etc. to make the people who are kind to me my doormat. But I will say, that even though it happens it is not because I am weak. it is because my strength and my Faith allows me to push it aside and go on. It hurts so many times but at the end of the day, I know that I have tried to be the best I can to others.
It has been a few years since you died. I used to not even be able to say that word but do now because you did. You took a piece of my heart with you. This time of year is hard because you loved Holidays. I laugh, I enjoy your nieces and i enjoy life but it does not change the loss of you. My heart still cries and I still cry. Not everyday but I think of you everyday.
People say I changed well yeah. I did. I lost something worth more than any money in the World. I lost you. I am blessed to have your sister and her precious babies. you would have been the best Aunt ever. I laugh with them. The oldest 12, knows all about you and she even writes you notes and ask about your life. The baby is only 15 months so of course she doesn’t yet. Your sister misses having someone to talk to. I miss your laughter and how you never took life so seriously. Little things were that. Nothing to stress over.
You had challenges with Autism but you made it through struggle after struggle. I am a bit harsher now with life. I am not the old me. but I don’t have to be. the “new” me that came a bit after you died saw life from a different view. I still love, I still feel blessed with your sister and family but I will get “over” losing you. I love you. Always. Love, mom.
I have to start by explaining my husband thinks all people are good and do mean to be bad. I am of a very kind heart but I know that bad people exist. Life. My story is about Nitro, our Long haired Shepherd. First, I HATE puppy mills. My two dogs are rescues and that is just my personal choice. If someone wants a pet from a reputable breeder I am okay with that just not puppy mills. Anyway, here is Nitro’s story.
For years my husband had wanted a long haired German Shepherd. I was not ready yet because I had researched just how much care it requires until the time came that we could give him the needed time. he wanted a Male. not to breed just to have. Soooo, we looked and looked. He had saved over time and he found one in Virginia, I found one in North Ga. 2 hours away. His was 12 hours one way. The page looked great, the way she advertised her pups and on and on.
Anyway, he had his 1,600.00 dollars and off he goes. 2 hours before he got there, she called and said she had just noticed at 12 weeks that one of his testicles had not dropped but she was sure it would. (No, it is hereditary passed from father to son). He called and I begged him to turn back but he said he was sure she knew because her page was so promising. Twenty minutes before she was supposed to give him directions, she called and said to meet her at a local store since she was in town with the puppy. Again, I begged him to come back. But he went and picked up his puppy that he named Nitro.
He brought the beautiful puppy home and we took him to the Vet the next day for a check up. We were informed the testicle would NOT drop and would require an operation. At six months, they had to cut his stomach open as the testicle was lodged in his intestines. More money. Nitro seemed well once he recovered until we noticed him limping a bit at two years old. Aside from the monthly Vet visits, we made an appointment. Test were run and the Vet came back with the news that Nitro had Arthritis in both front legs. the operation would be an estimated 16,000.00. Even worse it would have to be every two years because it would come back. Operation or put him to sleep.
I came home and just cried. I knew we didn’t have 16,000.00 much less every two years so I found what I could to help him. Krill oil, Chondroitin and other things to help. They did. For a year. Nitro is now 6 years old and lives like he is 18 dog years. One leg is stiff. I am so heartbroken when I see him everyday and try to find new meds to help. I am glad we saved him from that horrid place (she was shut down after I reported her like 15 times). But on the other hand, it is horrible to watch him live his life like this. I am still doing all that I can to help but PLEASE do NOT ignore the red flags. Last minute findings of issues, not wanting you to come to their home and so many more. Help shut down puppy mills. Buy from someone you can meet and see their home.
I forgot to give my niece her keys after I had checked on a pet at her grooming Salon and she lives an hour from me sooooo I get home at 12 and yay, there they are. so, I had to turn around and go all of the way back. Anyway, I was close to home around 2 a.m. and coming up the road I saw movement and looked over and saw this huge cat. I slowed down and since no one was behind I pulled to the side of the road. I looked and saw this huge cat just staring as it sat. I was so tired I thought maybe I was imagining it until it moved again. I was in awe but not enough to get out and try to get a pic. This thing was huge. I never even knew we had them here. It looked like the one on the left.
Whichever you choose! Have a great one! anyone know where this is? 🙂
I am learning to love me. The happy, nervous, anxious, laughing,depressed, silly, serious, artistic, dreamer, tries to save the World person who rarely succeeds at it but I love it anyway. I have judged myself so harshly I overlooked the good. So, I am learning to love me and I like it.
Lost in a World of confusion and chaos
terror pulls at my heart while hope tries to reign it back.
stark realities and colorful fantasy.
The day of dawning when you realize it
is all a whimsical mosh pit of puzzles.
Some solved, others never put together.