I love that song that starts with Morning has broken and I do not even know who sings it but just the opening words are refreshment to my Soul. I went back last week for an unexpected second trip to Florida which is totally out of sync for me. But this time I had Soul reflections. I listened from a Balcony to the Symphony of waves and birds and just reflected. I was in the middle of this and I was praying and just being in the moment. It was then I realized that I had lost so much of me in the challenge to try and save others. But I realized that sometimes you are sucked dry from trying to save someone who will not change you lose parts of yourself. I found me again. really found me. The girl who used to walk that same beach at night every Summer. The dreamer, the believer the one who thought there was only good in the World. I still believe there is so much good in the World but also you have to be careful not to get absorbed and caught into the net of bad. I came back more like the dreamer and now I realize I have to love but I also have to capture my own dreams and believe again. Have a great day/evening wherever you are.
I want to be able to spread a little scatter of Sunshine of love to everyone. So much is going on and so much chaos in the World right now. We need scatters of Sunshine and love to throw around to everyone! Just a touch of love to someone even if it just holding someone’s hand, being there, a text or a call. Anything to show some happy could mean the World to someone so for me, I will try and scatter some around today and throwing some to whomever reads this! Have a beautiful day/ night wherever you are!
The ability to read people can be hard. In the last few months, someone who has tried to destroy my reputation, my life and my ability to even write or do art because they are like a non stop plague has really affected me. Now, even with the ones they are “allowing” to speak to me because they think they succeeded in destroying me have fake faces and black hearts. They can smile all day and fill it with I love you’s. I believed it before because I loved so deeply but now I can see it for what it is. Fake. However, I did a lot of prayer, breathing and meditation this morning and I am not going to let them win. I am going to soldier on as they say and write, work on art, do my photography even if it means standing it alone. Better that than to be caught up again in a pit of snakes. It is hard because I am a kind person but so many times it is those with good hearts who get trampled on. All I can say is if you find yourself in my position, get the steel plated armor on and fight back by being as strong as you can. Let go of the toxin and let love for yourself take over. I hate when I rant like this but I hope to maybe help someone else who is facing what I have and encourage them. SOLDIER ON. Do NOT give up. 🙂
I have found when someone wants to antagonize or start a problem, they will keep on and on to try and get you to argue. Don’t. Let them continue ranting and raving. when they say that you are not”at peace” with things or that you are listening to Satan (one of my favorites) just because you do not agree with them just go on and let them be. These kind of people want a war and I am learning not to give them what they want. As long as I know I am trying to do right and I am a good person then i have learned it is because they want me to feel at odds or to not believe in me. But I do. So i have learned that when that happens, i now turn the channel in my mind to positive thinking and just do not respond to the negativity. 🙂
Sometimes I am too blunt. I am honest. I fail constantly when trying to get people I know to understand. I have lost children. I love the child I have. I love her babies. I am happy and yet I have anxiety and i often find that being an Empath/ Discerner can be so trying. i do yoga in my home. I try and stay fit but I also have an appetite for sweet things when i do not need them. I am kind and will help anyone in need but I am often used but forgiving. I DO have a sharp tongue with family kids and teens when they are disrespectful. I love to garden and watch and yes, run from Lucifer the Chihuahua terror in the neighborhood. I am so many things but most of all I am me and that is okay by me because I know I strive to be the best I can. Have a great day/evening wherever you are! 🙂
So much has changed in this new “normal”. Locked in, facetime for family and friends, mask, anxiety, Fear, sickness, tears, a longing to be with those you love, a desire to be in that church you always assumed would be open. The Yoga classes, the gym and the work place where it was always such a chore. the schools where our children met, learned and played. This new “normal” has sucked in so many ways. But there have been blessings too. Learning to appreciate what we took for granted. The freedom to see who we wanted when we wanted, the ones who loved being alone then found that having the opportunity to get out taken away made some of us want to reach out. It has made me have such an appreciation for things I just never worried about. I never knew wearing a mask could be so weird but I know how those with cancer must have felt or feel. The blessings have been seeing just how much we will now absorb and breathe in the ability to be able to be free again. So, along with the chaos cam the blessing of learning again how precious life can be.
In Georgia we get so many seasons rolled into one week until Summer. Each week, (unless it is Summertime when we have pretty much nothing but hot, sweltering, skin drenched days of heat, ) we get just such a variety of Weather. Like one day it is 65 to 70 and Sunny, the next day we have monsoon rain and flooding to be followed by a possible choice (not ours of course) of either really warm and breezy or not breezy, or Icelandic temps with gushing and biting wind that can give you frostbite. Of course no snow with any of that or rarely anyway. If we have rumors of snow, then yes, it is true. we get people buying all of the milk and bread up. Mix into that, during this spell of temps., you can sometimes fit in a Summer day with hot temps. Then Summer comes. Just hot, hotter and hottest. So, there is our yearly forecast for sweet Peach and pumpkin filled Ga. I might add, I do love it here. Just not the weird climate. lol.
WHY? I sometimes ask myself that question. Often, actually. Why I chose to continue to listen to things said to me as a child. I would never be good enough, I was ugly, I caused problems, I was the reason people did bad things and on and on. I was just a kid. But as I was growing up, those thoughts that were seeded started to grow. On the outside, I seemed to be strong and confidant. On the inside I was a disaster waiting to happen.
And one day, it did happen. all of that negativity set in after the death of my second child. Walls inside started to crumble. A strong mind started to shift. I quit being honest. I just kind of fell apart. I caved in to all the thoughts and the toxic talk. My brain accepted it and I fell. Anxiety set in, doubts, fears and so much.
Now, after a lot of Prayer, Meditation, therapy, and positive thoughts I am starting to climb the crumbled wall of my mind back up to the top. Back to the Sun. I know i will rise above this fear and anxiety. it may take time but it took time to get there. Above all, I ask myself WHY did it take so long to realize those words were painful but not true. I don’t know. But as long as I am trying, I guess it does not matter. NEVER let someone’s toxic words or ways come into your head. It destroys. BUT, you can recover if you learn to stop believing them.
I do not live in a million plus Subdivision. It is decent and most of us keep everything pretty nice. But some neighbors look like their house should be on Hoarders which is their choice. i sure don’t care. But guess who gets letters? me. Of course. Let me see. lol. Um, my grass is not green enough. There should be no advertising on the WORK truck that shows our phone number. That would be great except 15 other Vehicles have it. The fence in the back can be seen from the road as can many other houses. The mailbox looks a bit uneven. Gotta love them and the list goes on. However, my neighbor who owns Lucifer or AKA crazy boy, (the Chihuahua) came over to ask about the letters and said she had complaints about him. Because he barks. yeah. he is a dog. They do that. lol. Life with an HOA. Gotta love it! Oh. And no. NOT my house! I wish!
It has been a busy week for my art projects and orders are coming on. My daughter started promoting it and BAM! it is filling up so I have not had a chance to get on here. So, I just wanted to say how blessed I feel about that. On other things, raven the delightful Shepherd got out again when she found another great escape. I had to chase her down, get a leash on her and wait for my husband to run home and fix the damage. lol. Lucifer the dog from across the street is back at his antics and chasing all things including me. (I escaped) But sadly, the flowers in the edge of my garden did not go without his wrath of punishment. His owner offered to do something for the damage but I just laughed and told her it was fine as long as it is flowers and not my ankles. lol. And my cats are indeed aliens who love to catch me off guard and scratch or bite me when I least expect it. Aaaah. Life is back to normal here. hahahaha. I hope you all have a great evening/day wherever you are!