I blogged the other day about finding a part of me again and it has been beautiful. I have also dealt with my mind. Is it the Empath in me or the anxiety telling me this is not okay? That this is not normal for my brain to feel happy. It is so hard but I know for those who live these things, it is very real. I still feel guilt if true happiness tries to climb in since my daughter didn’t get that. Then I feel That surge of the happiness trying to stay and so we battle.
I have been on an awakening journey the last few weeks and it has been crazy. I have faced my Anxiety demons and sometimes I lost and sometimes I won. I have listened to music, I have prayed. I have done Yoga and I have had times I just meditated but one thing I have realized is how much I have settled for things I didn’t have to. As an Empath I let other’s negativity and hate change me. I hid instead of standing up after getting tired of them beating me down. But I have realized I was the Victim because I allowed it. So, never settle for less than what you deserve. ever.
2020 has been the strangest year I have ever encountered I guess in my life. Viruses, hate, protest, division, monster bugs, new species of every area found, fires, tornadoes, tsunamis, hurricanes, draining of my discernment/empath mind, emotional vampires have been rampant. people losing their minds and the list goes on. Ouch! I have never seen a year like this one before and I have to say it has been so far a Mind Bender.! Wow! But I come here for the calm. The place where I share, care, read other blogs and have my read. So, I think today will be a reading day. I need some of YOUR writings to calm my storm and share in yours. or your anime, laughter, joy and tears. Have a great day/ night!
In this time of seclusions, changes and upturning World, the Empath mind is in a whirpool of Emotions. Or for me. It seems that the time I AM around others now is almost on super hype. Like they are sending thoughts into my brain. If you are not an Empath you will think I am crazy but if you are you will understand. It seems to have heightened my sense of reading people and at times just people I see on the street. It is crazy but I am letting much of it go to keep my sanity. Beware! the emotional vampires are on the rise as well as the thoughts that will make you feel like you are in overload. Shout out to my fellow Empaths. We are okay but probably struggling!
Sometimes I cry because this life can be so lonely and then others I am overwhelmed with joy at those times when I can be happy. It is so hard not to have friends. It is so hard to know you are not accepted like other people because you are just so blunt and so different. But then joy comes with the few who love you. Usually the younger ones or the ones who know your pain. I am in one of those modes today. Just crying because I feel so damn alone. But I come here at those times where I am accepted just as I am. I come here on the joy days to share some of the things I find funny. I come here just to feel accepted by others who have never even physically given me a hug. Sorry. Just a down day. lol. But I have the good days too and for that I am blessed.
I just wrote on how the Empath feelings are a low right now and BOOM anxiety hits! Soooo, needless to say, that kicked in and then I starting getting vibes from text and calls and that sent it into overdrive. Of course the anxiety didn’t help because it pushed into high gear all of the stuff that comes with it. And dreams last night about my daughter so I called my other daughter and she is over the top on everything she has going on so we were not able to help each other much. but we tried. So now I am like, is it discernment or the feelings of true Empath feelings or anxiety? Whew, on a rollercoaster now and it doesn’t feel great. My mind is all over the place. lol. funny but not funny. some of you will get that. Hopefully, none of you will think I am nuts.
I just could NOT sleep. My brain was in over drive and I could not stop focusing on everything going on and then why we cannot all unite. Then my mind was on what I needed to clean. That was an hour or so. Then I was thinking about who was mad, why they were mad and how to resolve any conflicts so we could all function as a Tribe. (people I know). lol. Then I was worried about whether someone might think about the flowers I planted. They look a bit chaotic. And of course, then I would re-think some more on the dumbest stuff. Needless to say, I scored four hours. Only because I passed out. lol. Have a great day/night fellow bloggers.
I have to say that I am a bit upset with myself. I deal with this damn anxiety so much that I got caught up with trying to keep people mentally at a distance so I didn’t have to discern their feelings. But then after a conversation with someone, I realized that this disorder had taken over my ability to do anything other than think of me and me and me. Anxiety and being an Empath can do that. However, when this person was telling me how they were dealing with something, I just felt this over whelming hurt and pain and how lonely they must have felt so many times and maybe even feeling they could not share because others might not understand. I want to remember from that and take from that to not get so wrapped up in my own issues that I become self-absorbed. Maybe I will help this anxiety by reaching out to try and be there for others who suffer their own issues. So, I have to say sorry to those who may have needed a moment when I was just in my own little world. If you need me, L.W. I am here! Have a great day fellow bloggers!
I have realized that my anxiety is best buddies with my Empath/ Discernment ability. Sooooo, on top of the anxiety I have a few people who are playing in my mind and yes, it is getting to me. I know, I need to blank them out but right now I cannot and it is an emotional drain on my stressed brain. So I am just trying to use ANY form of ANYTHING to divert my mind from them. This gift is a blessing and in some ways, a hard blessing. So today to all my fellow struggling Empaths, if you are having my kind of day or week, you are NOT alone. OMGOSH. 🙂 Have a great day/evening fellow bloggers!
As anyone who reads my blogs knows by now I struggle with anxiety, some past abuse and on and on. But I do try. I try to use the gifts I have to make other lives better if I can. I know how it feels to be ignored so I try and pay attention. I know how it feels to be shunned so I try to be kind to someone who is shunned for whatever reason. I am by no means perfect but I have been there and it hurts. The loneliness is painful, the anxiety is scary and the ability to see through people is often depressing. But the good that has come out of it has given one underdog the desire to fight for or be there for the other underdogs in the World. Because I want them all to know that, in reality, we are actually champions if we come out with a good heart that wants to reach out. I have my bad days and times when I am not the best person but to me the key word is, I try. Have a great day/night fellow bloggers! 🙂