As anyone who reads my blogs knows by now I struggle with anxiety, some past abuse and on and on. But I do try. I try to use the gifts I have to make other lives better if I can. I know how it feels to be ignored so I try and pay attention. I know how it feels to be shunned so I try to be kind to someone who is shunned for whatever reason. I am by no means perfect but I have been there and it hurts. The loneliness is painful, the anxiety is scary and the ability to see through people is often depressing. But the good that has come out of it has given one underdog the desire to fight for or be there for the other underdogs in the World. Because I want them all to know that, in reality, we are actually champions if we come out with a good heart that wants to reach out. I have my bad days and times when I am not the best person but to me the key word is, I try. Have a great day/night fellow bloggers! 🙂
Anyone who has this ability knows it can be lonely. I scare my own family sometimes much less try to make friendships but it is a gift that I have learned and I am still learning to control in certain ways. Friends are few or none because they know that I am honest in my perspective and it doesn’t take long for them to realize that I do know, feel and sense their inner shell as opposed to their outer so alas, they kind of fall of the friendship wall. But, I also learned there are times that in our lives, I have to shut up and leave it alone. It just is not worth it. So I avoid the Emotional Vampires the best I can but I also try to help as much as I can until I have to recharge. My thoughts on that for the day. Have a great night/day fellow bloggers!
I call them the great pretenders because they are so nice to me but I know that when I turn my back, most of them are the first jab a knife in there while they run around telling their “peeps” everything mistake I could possibly make and if there isn’t one, trust me, they can find SOMETHING. It is hard when the people you care about do not care back. For whatever reason, I get chosen as the scapegoat for all of the things that are wrong. So, I am learning to let it go (very hard) and just pretend I do not know and I just stay and play nice. Honesty is not allowed. Only if they need me for something am I wonderful again. But I am also learning to love myself and if that is how they choose to be then at least they do not suck my emotional heart out anymore. Sometimes, just turning around and emotionally walking away is more healing than trying to gain someone’s love.
The picture journeys that speak to my soul, the blogs about life that and love and kids and everything that help me find joy, the blogs about sorrow that help me to know I do not cry alone. The blogs about so many things. Blogs to help us in our writing, blogs about pets, love of Nature, blogs on Yoga, anxiety and empaths. I could go on and on but THANK YOU to each of you who keep me and I know so many other bloggers afloat on our journey of life! You are ALL so very awesome… Off to read more now! Hugs!
Do you feel things that others do not? Do you feel others joy and pain on a deep level? Can you “read” when people are lying and find out later you are right? Do you have the awareness of tuning in when people are being fake and you can discern a fake person right when or not long after meeting them? Do you often find yourself knowing a person is on the prowl? There are so many different areas of this that it would take 50 more blogs to fill it all in. But just wanted to see how many others are like me. 🙂 Hugs!
It is hard to write and for some hard to read. But panic and anxiety is so hard. Waking up from a sleep and feeling so weird because you are suddenly feeling that “warmth” that usually means an attack is coming. Wanting to get out bed to get, for me in helping, a cold bottled water but not able from fear of what if it is something else? Not wanting to wake your other, if you have one but it is embarrassing to ask for their help. Going to bed early just to be awake but play an online game or anything to get your mind off of it. The feeling that I have lost the freedom not to be scared it could come on fast and sometimes for no reason.
It is the fear of wondering if something else is wrong so I try the “difference” method. If I can slow it sown it is panic or anxiety. If I cannot, I need to seek help. It is a continuous mind game with my brain. I am trying really hard and the isolation doesn’t really help. But I just felt the need to write this today in case someone else out there is feeling this. You are NOT alone.
I just pray and wish this Virus could go away. I wish we could all learn from this and I hope we do. I wish that we all learn more about helping the lonely who are always isolated because they have no one, for those who are living with anxious minds I wish that we could all learn how to understand how hard that is. I know. I live it. I wish that somehow, we will all unite together and learn what love is again. I wish upon a star that we, from now on, will enjoy the fresh air, the beauty of the oceans, the joy of laughter and that we can all learn from this Virus how very blessed we have really been.