In this time of seclusions, changes and upturning World, the Empath mind is in a whirpool of Emotions. Or for me. It seems that the time I AM around others now is almost on super hype. Like they are sending thoughts into my brain. If you are not an Empath you will think I am crazy but if you are you will understand. It seems to have heightened my sense of reading people and at times just people I see on the street. It is crazy but I am letting much of it go to keep my sanity. Beware! the emotional vampires are on the rise as well as the thoughts that will make you feel like you are in overload. Shout out to my fellow Empaths. We are okay but probably struggling!
I can come and share with some of the best bloggers in the World. I can express what I think, feel and like or do not like and we all stand in acceptance of each other, even when we may not agree. I love to be able to be myself and share my innermost feelings, my life in Society and just anything that helps to love, live, appreciate and enjoy. I share my heart when I am down about the loss of children, depression, anxiety, yoga, well you get it. Here. I can be me.
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately and I realized I have spent the last few years often criticized or ‘helped’ by telling me all the things I do or say wrong. It never mattered that I was ready to help anyone who called my ‘honesty’ was too much, my way of saying things was too ‘blunt’ and the list has gone on and on. Today, I realized that no, I just am who I am. Outspoken, loyal, standing up for what I believe in, blunt and at times I am sure, just like everyone prone to have bad moments and days I am just not great to been around. But for once I realize my good outweighs the bad. I may be all the things that were said but my heart is kind and loving. So, take it or leave, I think I like me just the way, I am and who I was designed to be.
Sometimes I cry because this life can be so lonely and then others I am overwhelmed with joy at those times when I can be happy. It is so hard not to have friends. It is so hard to know you are not accepted like other people because you are just so blunt and so different. But then joy comes with the few who love you. Usually the younger ones or the ones who know your pain. I am in one of those modes today. Just crying because I feel so damn alone. But I come here at those times where I am accepted just as I am. I come here on the joy days to share some of the things I find funny. I come here just to feel accepted by others who have never even physically given me a hug. Sorry. Just a down day. lol. But I have the good days too and for that I am blessed.
I have been waiting for the Covid results that came back negative and that was great! But in the days waiting, I pushed my Yoga, meditation, and Prayer as much as I could! I thought I would fall out but I had to do it to stay sane. I did it over and over and over everyday but I am glad. It helped even if my Anxiety kept screaming “You are going to have it!” my mind was at least calmed from a Nervous break down by doing all of these things. I am so glad now that I did because it kept me on at least a base level of sanity. lol
I have no idea why but EVERY full moon and the night before I just cannot get to sleep. I do not even know if this is normal but I know it is agitating! I just wonder if anyone else has this issue? Not a long post but I am just curious because it is so weird!
I just wrote on how the Empath feelings are a low right now and BOOM anxiety hits! Soooo, needless to say, that kicked in and then I starting getting vibes from text and calls and that sent it into overdrive. Of course the anxiety didn’t help because it pushed into high gear all of the stuff that comes with it. And dreams last night about my daughter so I called my other daughter and she is over the top on everything she has going on so we were not able to help each other much. but we tried. So now I am like, is it discernment or the feelings of true Empath feelings or anxiety? Whew, on a rollercoaster now and it doesn’t feel great. My mind is all over the place. lol. funny but not funny. some of you will get that. Hopefully, none of you will think I am nuts.
Well I am not sure if it is all of the praying, yoga, tai-chi, meditation or lack of people. Maybe all of the above but my empath ability is on low gear. I think probably not being around people because the others are for my Anxiety and Panic. But, either way, I am like on a no feel zone with others in ways to gauge what they are feeling. However, it sure has helped me in the anxiety department. Oh well, just thought I would share that!
I just could NOT sleep. My brain was in over drive and I could not stop focusing on everything going on and then why we cannot all unite. Then my mind was on what I needed to clean. That was an hour or so. Then I was thinking about who was mad, why they were mad and how to resolve any conflicts so we could all function as a Tribe. (people I know). lol. Then I was worried about whether someone might think about the flowers I planted. They look a bit chaotic. And of course, then I would re-think some more on the dumbest stuff. Needless to say, I scored four hours. Only because I passed out. lol. Have a great day/night fellow bloggers.
I have to say that I am a bit upset with myself. I deal with this damn anxiety so much that I got caught up with trying to keep people mentally at a distance so I didn’t have to discern their feelings. But then after a conversation with someone, I realized that this disorder had taken over my ability to do anything other than think of me and me and me. Anxiety and being an Empath can do that. However, when this person was telling me how they were dealing with something, I just felt this over whelming hurt and pain and how lonely they must have felt so many times and maybe even feeling they could not share because others might not understand. I want to remember from that and take from that to not get so wrapped up in my own issues that I become self-absorbed. Maybe I will help this anxiety by reaching out to try and be there for others who suffer their own issues. So, I have to say sorry to those who may have needed a moment when I was just in my own little world. If you need me, L.W. I am here! Have a great day fellow bloggers!