I have been waiting for the Covid results that came back negative and that was great! But in the days waiting, I pushed my Yoga, meditation, and Prayer as much as I could! I thought I would fall out but I had to do it to stay sane. I did it over and over and over everyday but I am glad. It helped even if my Anxiety kept screaming “You are going to have it!” my mind was at least calmed from a Nervous break down by doing all of these things. I am so glad now that I did because it kept me on at least a base level of sanity. lol
I am slowly training my brain to try and take my mind back. By that, I mean trying to overpower the Anxiety and Panic I get and put my brain where it was 5 years ago before I got this condition that I am understanding more and more each day. So, I am believing and I am working hard on telling myself that fear does not have to rule me. Fear does not have to run my life. I was of a strong mind before and I can be again! I will not lie, it IS a battle but I think , no, I know that if I can learn to take control of my brain back, I can overcome this. Have a wonderful day/night where ever you are.
I have challenged myself during this time to try and make my mind build strength again as I battled the Anxiety and more. I fight and fought it. And to my delight, it is a slow walk but I am becoming stronger. mentally and Physically and more. Yes, I am still battling Anxiety but I know it could have been much worse. Each day I find myself just a spoon full stronger but every little spoonful adds up. I walk now more, I am eating better, I am challenging my mind. I do Yoga, Yardwork, Devotional time, prayer, meditation and ANYTHING to keep my mind busy and I even play Brain games. NO, I do not do all of it everyday but I do some of it everyday. I accepted the challenge Thank god, so far, I am winning. Thanks to all of you who support me and keep me hanging in there and encourage me. You are a huge part of this battle! have a great day/night fellow bloggers/writers. Team US!
Sometimes I am laughing and I am will be in the middle of staying busy and the tears will come. I do not even know until they fall down my cheeks. I am trying to be positive but the pain just hits and it feels like a physical blow. I wish I could learn to control this anxiety better than I do. I feel so strong the ways an Empath will, that the few I am around when they are at every peak of emotion. I can feel it through calls and sometimes even text. Who even feels emotions through text? And sadly, I am usually am right. Does that me feel empowered? No, it weakens me. So, I just had to say that I AM trying but I am struggling too but yes I know I am blessed and I am thankful for that.
Sop FAR, to day I am beating the panic. So far. That will have to do for now. But hey, it is almost three in my area of the woods so that is a plus! I even had a break down moment thinking of my angels who left me. My son, My daughter and my nephew. 2 days, Ryan, 23 Nikki and Kyle 13. But I am trying and I exercising and I listen to music and I and I work and I just do it. I usually would have had anxiety by this point. But I held it off! Any progress beats no progress! Thanks for being here my fellow bloggers & friends!
I am trying it but I can tell this will be slow going but I figure if I even cut back just a bit it is better than nothing. My experience so far today is letting me know that I have to take this in very slow baby steps but hey! A baby starts by crawling so if I can even manage this of cutting back just a little that is a huge accomplishment to me! So my sweet blogger friends I am trying and I hope it brings encouragement for you too that we can do this in steps or even cut down just a bit!
Okay fellow friends and bloggers. As I go along, I am trying to wean off just a tiny bit on my anxiety meds. I am not on a huge dose and I have kept them the same for almost five years. But I am trying to use my other methods (prayer, meditation, yoga, etc.)to go along with it. Last night went okay even during a stress full situation.
So I will try cutting that dose again this evening. I know it will be a journey that may not be easy but I want to get me back. I know this is a struggle and I know I have to be logical about it but I try anything I can to try and work out this situation. I also know my brain is all in how I train it. But life is filled with anxiety so I also know to tread this carefully! So, just trying. 🙂
I do battle anxiety but I know there is a ray of light behind this dark cloud of junk that tries to over power me. I overthink, I over everything. But I see the light that shines through and that keeps me trying. I see the ray of hope and it gives me hope that I can over come this. I see those who struggle with me and how we lift each other up when things seem dim. So, Behind every cloud there IS a ray of light.
So, I define my panic attacks and my anxiety on a separate plain. Because panic attacks bother me worse than anxiety if that makes sense. BUT, I have found with both that trying to keep positive thoughts in my head seem to help a lot. Avoiding people who want to criticize me. Trying to find beauty in anything. I also try to be more positive when I can. Sometimes, during anxiety, I can be hateful and not very kind but it is because I am about to scream in my brain that I am a jello square jiggling all over.
So, that is me and my issues today. so far, pretty good on things! I hope all my fellow strugglers are doing good too!
OUCH! I was just writing a short bit ago how I am staying busy to keep anxiety down and I have been doing good and them BAM! I stepped outside and my heart just felt like it was racing! I was really taken off guard because I have been doing so well.
But this is life with panic and anxiety. It can come from nowhere and when you don’t even expect it at all. It has calmed a little since I have been steadily writing but it has not completely quit racing. I guess I just have to accept it as a reality and face it head on but man can it be hard to do. But I am trying and I am doing all I can to adjust and try to keep it out of my mind. It is times like these when it comes out of no where that bother me the most.