Wow! Okay. For those who have followed my Parakeets, I homed them to a new home and the follow ups she is sending me are great. They are very happy. I just couldn’t get to them enough to spend quality time because I have a zoo of dumped off animals that I cannot get help with, my own dogs, and work! Yikes! But hey, I am blessed that it gets my mind off of Anxiety for a bit. I am duking it out with Lucifer the dog (just kidding) I actually laugh at him, unless he is off the leash and chasing me. he is the Houdini of leash escapes. I HAVE been doing Yoga, meditation, and Prayer. Lots of those. And I still fight anxiety but this has been a somewhat better week off and on. The only hard part is the Empath road has been high. I sure hope all of you have been having a great week!
So many times friends or family will try and give advice on anxiety that they do not have and it always turns sour. They mean well I KNOW that. But Anxiety is not something I chose to have. NO ONE would. Your battle is almost constantly a war with your mind. You are given a reprieve occasionally with medication where you do have fear of another attack. I do try it all. Yoga, meditation, prayer, studies, you tube, you name it. But as of now, I have NOT conquered it. I am trying. I wish there were a cure all. I wish you didn’t have to try and understand me. I don’t even understand me. I do not wish this on myself or anyone else. I also just wish so many people did not think that you can just wish it away. I wish I could. My Anxiety thought for the day. Have a great day/night fellow bloggers!
I have been trying really hard to change some things in my life and I realized I needed to start in my mind. So I am sorting through from childhood to now. From childhood, I am trying to throw out things that were taught by the influences in my life that I do not agree with now. I am trying to sort out the things that I learned as a teen that caused me to have some off center beliefs that I need to box up and throw out. And I am learning that I have to find me and just exactly who I am, what I believe myself, what I want to do as a person and what I can do to change some of the negatives into positives in a battle I fight. The great thing is that I am learning and doing.
I have been waiting for the Covid results that came back negative and that was great! But in the days waiting, I pushed my Yoga, meditation, and Prayer as much as I could! I thought I would fall out but I had to do it to stay sane. I did it over and over and over everyday but I am glad. It helped even if my Anxiety kept screaming “You are going to have it!” my mind was at least calmed from a Nervous break down by doing all of these things. I am so glad now that I did because it kept me on at least a base level of sanity. lol
I am slowly training my brain to try and take my mind back. By that, I mean trying to overpower the Anxiety and Panic I get and put my brain where it was 5 years ago before I got this condition that I am understanding more and more each day. So, I am believing and I am working hard on telling myself that fear does not have to rule me. Fear does not have to run my life. I was of a strong mind before and I can be again! I will not lie, it IS a battle but I think , no, I know that if I can learn to take control of my brain back, I can overcome this. Have a wonderful day/night where ever you are.
I have challenged myself during this time to try and make my mind build strength again as I battled the Anxiety and more. I fight and fought it. And to my delight, it is a slow walk but I am becoming stronger. mentally and Physically and more. Yes, I am still battling Anxiety but I know it could have been much worse. Each day I find myself just a spoon full stronger but every little spoonful adds up. I walk now more, I am eating better, I am challenging my mind. I do Yoga, Yardwork, Devotional time, prayer, meditation and ANYTHING to keep my mind busy and I even play Brain games. NO, I do not do all of it everyday but I do some of it everyday. I accepted the challenge Thank god, so far, I am winning. Thanks to all of you who support me and keep me hanging in there and encourage me. You are a huge part of this battle! have a great day/night fellow bloggers/writers. Team US!
Sometimes I am laughing and I am will be in the middle of staying busy and the tears will come. I do not even know until they fall down my cheeks. I am trying to be positive but the pain just hits and it feels like a physical blow. I wish I could learn to control this anxiety better than I do. I feel so strong the ways an Empath will, that the few I am around when they are at every peak of emotion. I can feel it through calls and sometimes even text. Who even feels emotions through text? And sadly, I am usually am right. Does that me feel empowered? No, it weakens me. So, I just had to say that I AM trying but I am struggling too but yes I know I am blessed and I am thankful for that.
Sop FAR, to day I am beating the panic. So far. That will have to do for now. But hey, it is almost three in my area of the woods so that is a plus! I even had a break down moment thinking of my angels who left me. My son, My daughter and my nephew. 2 days, Ryan, 23 Nikki and Kyle 13. But I am trying and I exercising and I listen to music and I and I work and I just do it. I usually would have had anxiety by this point. But I held it off! Any progress beats no progress! Thanks for being here my fellow bloggers & friends!
I am trying it but I can tell this will be slow going but I figure if I even cut back just a bit it is better than nothing. My experience so far today is letting me know that I have to take this in very slow baby steps but hey! A baby starts by crawling so if I can even manage this of cutting back just a little that is a huge accomplishment to me! So my sweet blogger friends I am trying and I hope it brings encouragement for you too that we can do this in steps or even cut down just a bit!
Okay fellow friends and bloggers. As I go along, I am trying to wean off just a tiny bit on my anxiety meds. I am not on a huge dose and I have kept them the same for almost five years. But I am trying to use my other methods (prayer, meditation, yoga, etc.)to go along with it. Last night went okay even during a stress full situation.
So I will try cutting that dose again this evening. I know it will be a journey that may not be easy but I want to get me back. I know this is a struggle and I know I have to be logical about it but I try anything I can to try and work out this situation. I also know my brain is all in how I train it. But life is filled with anxiety so I also know to tread this carefully! So, just trying. 🙂