The hard journey of anxiety….

It is a tough battle but it is a battle that can be won on many days. I have anxiety and although I do have to fight it the re are some days I win and I actually beat it. I try anything I can find from breathing to just telling my mind that it is okay. It is not as bad as I am thinking. My newest thing has been asking myself questions and answering them back. Sounds a little looney but it works many times. Like, for example: Is this something that is going to hurt you? No. Is this truly something to stress over? no. Then I make myself explain why. It may even be crazy but it is working for me on many days so far. Not all but it is a start! have a great day/evening wherever you are! 🙂

The Human Touch…..

Sometimes in the midst of all of our moments of hurt, anger, or just life in general, it is nice to feel the touch of another Human. I used to hate to be touched during high stress or hurt and still do not like it when I am angry but I did find that just the touch of another Human is often calming. Whether it is holding their hand, fingers touching, a hug or just a simple caress it soothes me. I think in a World filled with less and less Human connection due to so many ways to reach out electronically, it is almost like a lost art. I am trying to get it back. Have a great day/evening wherever you are!

My cat plays fetch…. yeah, the cat… I never knew.

Of course we all know cats love to chase things. paper balls, yarn, whatever. But I have never had a cat play fetch with me. Until now. I was playing with my cat Emerald a couple of weeks ago and wadded up a sticky note into a ball. I threw it and she went and got it and then brought it back to me. I was thinking it was a lark or something but then she did it again and again. we did this for like 30 or more minutes. Now it has become a regular. just like a dog, she gets it and places it in my palm to throw again! The amazing World of animals. Have a great day /evening wherever you are!

Beauty Among the Thorns….

So much beauty if we just look ……everywhere around us. Children laughing, animals playing and seeing nothing but their innocent joy of just having humans around and being petted.

Cast away the thorns from the entanglement and see the shining Sun and the beautiful joy in life. Laugh, cry, embellish, be kind, look for joy and find it. Trying to take my anxiety and form it into positive thoughts. learning to train my brain to avoid the darkness that sometimes tries to smother my joy. I am looking. seeking and best of all….I am finding. So grateful. I hope you all have a beautiful and blessed day/evening/night wherever you are!

Morning has Broken…. The Day is Beautiful if you search for Diamonds among the Stones…

I love that song that starts with Morning has broken and I do not even know who sings it but just the opening words are refreshment to my Soul. I went back last week for an unexpected second trip to Florida which is totally out of sync for me. But this time I had Soul reflections. I listened from a Balcony to the Symphony of waves and birds and just reflected. I was in the middle of this and I was praying and just being in the moment. It was then I realized that I had lost so much of me in the challenge to try and save others. But I realized that sometimes you are sucked dry from trying to save someone who will not change you lose parts of yourself. I found me again. really found me. The girl who used to walk that same beach at night every Summer. The dreamer, the believer the one who thought there was only good in the World. I still believe there is so much good in the World but also you have to be careful not to get absorbed and caught into the net of bad. I came back more like the dreamer and now I realize I have to love but I also have to capture my own dreams and believe again. Have a great day/evening wherever you are.

I love the Ocean and I love how the World seems to become Magical on the Beach….

I recently went to Florida after many years away. I felt transported to a magical place. The sound of soothing overlapping waves, the beautiful sunset with a slight breeze. I watched the seagulls as they scooped the sand for food and flew overhead in their awesome flight. I have been all over this beautiful state over the years. I have seen Pelicans up close, Dolphins, crabs scuttle about. I just thought I would share some of the peaceful beauty of my magical get away place.

A Shadow in my Heart….

You are like a shadow only in my heart and the light never makes it go away. I do not want it to. That would mean that you are not there in my heart and thoughts. I love you every day and I think of you everyday all these years later. you and your baby brother. I still hear your laughter though it has faded a bit but I do not ever stop the tears that flow this time of year. It was your favorite time. The Holidays. Your baby brother was only 2 days old so he never knew any of those life experiences. You are the beautiful shadow I keep in my heart. I have been blessed with so many gifts of laughter and love since you left and it helped me to get through it because we never get over it. I just wish you could be here with us to love these little ones and your new family that came after you left us. Forever our angel. I will love you. Always. Love, mom.