Today. I did not do Yoga…. Anxiety hasn’t caught on yet. :)

Why? I just didn’t. I should have, I could have and I still can but I don’t know if I will. I am mad at Yoga today. Downward dog hurt my leg yesterday and we know I hate downward dog. Who named it that anyway? I t should be more like torture you dog. hahahahahahaha. Either way, Yoga and I are not speaking today so it does not get my attention. What WILL get my attention is when my anxiety realizes it is not going to get the daily dose of Yoga. Then some things will be freaking in my brain but I am mad at anxiety too so maybe it is a just punishment. hahahahahaha

A poem for my Daughter Nikki…I wish I had known…. In Memory 2-17-2007

I thought of you as I walked on the beach
Listening to the sounds you loved so much.
waves, as they rush onto the sand and soothe my soul.
I thought of you as the Holidays approached and how much you loved them.
Halloween where you loved those goofy movies. Christmas where we always drove around to see Christmas lights and you loved to stop at that store and get hot Cocoa.
I thought of the day you left me, three days after Valentines.
I never celebrate that day now. I can’t.
I went to your room and I sat on your bed.
I waited to see if maybe you would walk in
but I knew that was a fantasy that would never come true.
I went to the place where we placed you to rest
But to me it is empty and useless.
If I thought you would be here or I could feel you somehow
maybe I would come more often. But you aren’t and you will never be.
I look at your photo and I wish I could change that day and turn back the events so they never happened.
But I can’t.
Time does NOT heal all wounds. It only heals the ability to deal with it.
Love does not die. My love will always be there for you, secured in my heart.
I wish I had known so many things when you were here.
I wish I had known we have to cherish every day and every moment.
But I didn’t know.
I never realized or knew so many things that I know now but I only realized all of it.
When you were gone. I love you. always. Love, Mom. Copyright 2010 L.S.R.

My Yoga, anxiety, Tai Chi, crazy life……

My life is a crazy upside down funny, scary life. I have anxiety as most of you know by now, lol. So I try to balance life, Yoga, Tai Chi, meditation, prayer, anything I can to just keep a balance and I do but I also have learned that even with all of these, you HAVE to keep your stress level very low. I had an anxiety attack and I had taken my meds, done my breathing and all of the above but I allowed a highly stressful situation to get to me. Sooooo, I went out to my car, used my ice against my chest and did my breathing. Today away from the stress there I am doing better. it may be a crazy life but it is mine and I won it and I keep trying! 🙂 I hope you all have a great day!

My parakeets had babies!

I thought they sterilized parakeets or so I had been told so they could not breed. well, guess not. Mine kept acting funny so I put a nesting box in there a few weeks ago. and I went to give them food and water this morning and hear baby chirps! I am like, wow! I have not looked at them yet so I do not know how many but I am a first time parakeet grandparent! so exciting!

Yoga and Anxiety…………

Well Yoga is still kicking my bootie but I am still doing it and writing and Tai Chi. I am trying to get back to the healthy as I indulge in a bowl of vanilla bean, peanut butter and caramel milkshake this A.M. I love writing and still working on my zombie book while I tackle graphics and stay uber busy if I can. That also keeps anxiety at bay. I have to say though that Yoga is so good but so hard. Downward Dog is like my enemy. hahahahahaha. That dog is tearing me up! But I will get it as my back screams when I do it. So, I just tell my body, buck up and get ready for the rollercoaster of temp pain because we feel so much better after a short bit. I also love my yoga warm ups. They really help me in the less stress level so I can write, do the art and graphics.