Getting away from Toxic and spiteful people while still showing compassion…..

I was told during my energy break that someone didn’t understand anxiety, didn’t care and that people should just learn to deal with it. that there was no compassion for them. (I have anxiety) At first I almost went into a spiral and then I realized what differs me from me and them because another said I was too much because I always assume the worst (that was a call where I asked if they were okay because I hadn’t heard from them.) I realized what makes me different is i have compassion. I try to see what they may be going through but that because they are so angry or Narcissistic, they are still humans. Something put us where we are. So I can stand aside and have compassion but also stand strong when being accused of whatever it may be. My Anxiety never stopped me from keeping compassion in my heart and that part of me I love. Have a great day/evening wherever you are.

when people try to turn things on you… remember… it is them… not you…

I have found when someone wants to antagonize or start a problem, they will keep on and on to try and get you to argue. Don’t. Let them continue ranting and raving. when they say that you are not”at peace” with things or that you are listening to Satan (one of my favorites) just because you do not agree with them just go on and let them be. These kind of people want a war and I am learning not to give them what they want. As long as I know I am trying to do right and I am a good person then i have learned it is because they want me to feel at odds or to not believe in me. But I do. So i have learned that when that happens, i now turn the channel in my mind to positive thinking and just do not respond to the negativity. 🙂

I am who I am….

Sometimes I am too blunt. I am honest. I fail constantly when trying to get people I know to understand. I have lost children. I love the child I have. I love her babies. I am happy and yet I have anxiety and i often find that being an Empath/ Discerner can be so trying. i do yoga in my home. I try and stay fit but I also have an appetite for sweet things when i do not need them. I am kind and will help anyone in need but I am often used but forgiving. I DO have a sharp tongue with family kids and teens when they are disrespectful. I love to garden and watch and yes, run from Lucifer the Chihuahua terror in the neighborhood. I am so many things but most of all I am me and that is okay by me because I know I strive to be the best I can. Have a great day/evening wherever you are! 🙂

My Philosophy on being an Empath and what I have learned during this Virus….

As many of you know, I have issues with Anxiety and being an Empath/ Discerner on top of that can be hard. It has taken a lot of tears, breakdowns, sadness and depression during this past year to really evaluate some things. But I have also become stronger. I have learned, to a degree how to control the feeling of others hurt, wrath, pain and out right attempts to punish me for what I believe in. What I HAVE learned is that the stress brought on an Ulcer and I HAVE to let go of some things. It is a true struggle only Empaths / Discerners can understand as to why it is so hard but I am just throwing positive thoughts into my mind everyday. I am learning to stop listening or to stop reading emails, or texts or anything designed to cause me upset. It is VERY hard but I am learning and that is what matters. Have a great day/evening where ever your are fellow bloggers!

The Empath in Me….. Yoga is what I need……

IMGOSH! I am so over the top right now. lol. Like I have a good bit of time to observe and the Empath in me is going nuts. My senses are more alert than ever and I am for sure able to discern really well right now. BUT, on the UP side I have Salty dog (formerly Lucifer) from across the street to keep me entertained, I play a lot of brain games to keep my mind occupied, I write and I do Yoga even when it makes me cry. Yes. Yoga can make me cry because it is the BEST anxiety/ stress reliever BUT it is also hard. But then when I do rarely get out and see others I know my Empath wire starts up. Then, I get more anxious with all the stuff rolling in my mind so back home to Yoga and Meditation! Goodness, I am a multi-freakout. hahahahahaha.

Why?……. Choices……

WHY? I sometimes ask myself that question. Often, actually. Why I chose to continue to listen to things said to me as a child. I would never be good enough, I was ugly, I caused problems, I was the reason people did bad things and on and on. I was just a kid. But as I was growing up, those thoughts that were seeded started to grow. On the outside, I seemed to be strong and confidant. On the inside I was a disaster waiting to happen.

And one day, it did happen. all of that negativity set in after the death of my second child. Walls inside started to crumble. A strong mind started to shift. I quit being honest. I just kind of fell apart. I caved in to all the thoughts and the toxic talk. My brain accepted it and I fell. Anxiety set in, doubts, fears and so much.

Now, after a lot of Prayer, Meditation, therapy, and positive thoughts I am starting to climb the crumbled wall of my mind back up to the top. Back to the Sun. I know i will rise above this fear and anxiety. it may take time but it took time to get there. Above all, I ask myself WHY did it take so long to realize those words were painful but not true. I don’t know. But as long as I am trying, I guess it does not matter. NEVER let someone’s toxic words or ways come into your head. It destroys. BUT, you can recover if you learn to stop believing them.

Good to be back…

I took a hiatus to clear my mind, soul ,body and hear but it is good to be back on here. I had to do something to help me to get rid of toxins in my head, body and toxic people and relationships that were trying to really keep me down. But I am just as guilty for letting it affect me and letting them do it so I had to step back. But I did. I am feeling clearer and more determined to conquer some things so thank you to everyone who reads my sometimes weird stuff. At least it is not boring all of the time. lol.

Channeling my Empath/ Discernment ability…

Only those who have it, get it. But it can drive us crazy if we try and over think what goes on with this way of Life. I am learning daily as I go how to try and calm it, forget what is so bothering me and people that emotionally drain me for their whatever. I am trying hard to help those in pain and hurt while also not letting those who try and hurt me get the best of me. So, I am learning as I go because for so long I didn’t even know what it was. Then when I did, No clue how to work it.

2020 has been tough…. But I have learned some things from it…

I have learned…

To love more openly. To give more freely. To not let my Empath wires go crazy. That anxiety can be handled sometimes even when it is extreme. That is not easy but it can happen. To find some of my past interest and work on them. To appreciate. To hope. To try and reach out where I used to cling to aloneness. To laugh more, to fight harder. That I love my Country. To work harder on Yoga and prayer and meditation. To live.

Never settle for love or life….It can be anything you want it to be…….

I have been on an awakening journey the last few weeks and it has been crazy. I have faced my Anxiety demons and sometimes I lost and sometimes I won. I have listened to music, I have prayed. I have done Yoga and I have had times I just meditated but one thing I have realized is how much I have settled for things I didn’t have to. As an Empath I let other’s negativity and hate change me. I hid instead of standing up after getting tired of them beating me down. But I have realized I was the Victim because I allowed it. So, never settle for less than what you deserve. ever.