Sunshine and flowers,
Storms and wind,
Children and laughter,
Old couples together and in love.
New young love and the shine it brings,
Families and joy and togetherness.
Puppies, cats, dogs and kittens,
animals of every kind that we love.
And they love us.
Nature and birds and the call of the wild.
Life, living, love, sorrow, tears
happiness, crying, laughter, hurt
pain, wishes. granted. denied.
hoping, believing, praying, running
to and through the journey….
I keep her picture on my desk. I look at her at times so I can see her face and rekindle memories. Some are good, some hurt, some make me cry and some make me laugh. But I love to see that smile and although it hurts that she is gone, her memory lives on in my heart. I remember everything about her even can smell at times the perfume she decided she liked at 13. She never changed. She added one more and sometimes the cherry blossom smell seems to drift out or the vanilla. I love my sweet girl. Always!
I had so much anxiety this past weekend that I just immersed myself in my art and graphics. I love doing them until I can do no more. It helps many times with my anxiety though not always but I am going to do some more today. For those of us who have anxiety try painting watercolors or those books or just paint. It doesn’t matter whether you are an artist or not, just paints lines, blotches, whatever! I suggested watercolor because it allows the paint to spread out and use calming colors. Well, my tip for the day! off to work!
Copyright 2015 L.S. Rockel
Such a fine line between the two. What defines the difference?
Insanity is an escape from reality, a journey that most never tread.
So does Love.
Love is harsh, yet it comforts, give hope even if at times it causes delusions of not seeing thing as they really are.
So does Insanity.
Insanity keeps you from accepting certain truths and can drive you to the brink.
So does Love.
Love demands, it gives, it takes and it waits for redemption.
So does Insanity.
Most never cross the line that somewhere defines the two.
For the ones who do, they will probably never know the difference.
I thought of you as I walked on the beach, sand crunching beneath my feet.
I listened to the sounds of crashing waves you loved so much
as they rush onto the sand and soothe our soul.
I waited, Thinking you might just walk up beside me but I knew it was a dream and you were not here.
I went to the place where we put you to rest,
but to me it is just empty and useless.
You are not here, you never have been.
I look at your photo so many times and fantasize that I could change the events that day and tell you not to get in that car but I know better.
Times does NOT heal all wounds but it just soothes the pain over time so we can survive.
Love does not die, it is just here in my heart and I feel it when I think of you, look at your photo and remember the life we had together.
I wish I had known so many things when you were here that I know now
but I learned them when you went away. When I realized you were truly gone.
The sweet singing of birds, Children laughing, people smiling.
Butterflies dancing on the flowers, Bees flitting about.
A card or note sent to say I love you, a hug when needed.
ladybugs with their beautiful colors and flowers that color our world.
A baby that smiles for the first time, your child say’s their first word.
Your significant other brings you flowers, you give them the gift they have been wanting and you both smile.
The sound of falling rain, the shaking of thunder.
The world is full of so many beautiful things. We just have to look and take in a breath.
I was very down and out last night and feeling a bit discouraged because my life is spent trying to do for others. As humans we NEED to be there for others and likewise. So, I did an experiment. Since I am told so often by people who troll my facebook but do not comment or rarely respond that is is nothing and means nothing, although they are on but hide it so I cannot see it, I wanted to see just how popular it actually was. So I wrote something so out of character that it would take a pretty strange person not to pick up on that something was off key if you know me at all.
I also wanted to see if people just refuse to answer anything they do not like or if they just don’t care. I gauged by writing the post and then seeing how active they were over night. Surprise! Not. They were active all night and a.m. (I trolled myself) and I had two responses. Just two but they were checking all of my other post. The scariest part? It was a post that should have alerted people something was wrong. No I am not suicidal and I DO love my life even among my issues but now I know why people do commit suicide. They reach out but they do not see or feel it in their soul that anyone cares, even if people did. I also discovered social media is VERY active and important to society.