Sometimes I cry because this life can be so lonely and then others I am overwhelmed with joy at those times when I can be happy. It is so hard not to have friends. It is so hard to know you are not accepted like other people because you are just so blunt and so different. But then joy comes with the few who love you. Usually the younger ones or the ones who know your pain. I am in one of those modes today. Just crying because I feel so damn alone. But I come here at those times where I am accepted just as I am. I come here on the joy days to share some of the things I find funny. I come here just to feel accepted by others who have never even physically given me a hug. Sorry. Just a down day. lol. But I have the good days too and for that I am blessed.
I have been waiting for the Covid results that came back negative and that was great! But in the days waiting, I pushed my Yoga, meditation, and Prayer as much as I could! I thought I would fall out but I had to do it to stay sane. I did it over and over and over everyday but I am glad. It helped even if my Anxiety kept screaming “You are going to have it!” my mind was at least calmed from a Nervous break down by doing all of these things. I am so glad now that I did because it kept me on at least a base level of sanity. lol
I have no idea why but EVERY full moon and the night before I just cannot get to sleep. I do not even know if this is normal but I know it is agitating! I just wonder if anyone else has this issue? Not a long post but I am just curious because it is so weird!
I watch this little one as she stalks and pounces on bugs, or at least at them. It is so funny because she thinks I cannot see her. She is a little hunter. Then when I feel a bit down, I will go out in the evenings and just watch her. She pounces around, runs at full speed after something and then just stops. She enters into a little fenced area I have, looking around to see if anything sees her and then goes in to stalk the cricket that I guess she heard. The Cricket got away. Well everything she stalks gets away. Kittens are such a joy and bring a smile to me in days that can be depressing. I look forward to watching my tiny little Hunter.
I have watched so much True Crime in the last few months and weeks I am thinking I could be a pretty good detective. I said or a very skilled killer but that is not my thing. I am more about love. Of course I do have a couple of people well,,,,,, no. Just kidding. But wow, I think maybe I need to switch to Comedy. With the way my mind over thinks, I am starting to kind of scare myself… hahahahahahaha
I am used to being alone for long periods of no company or etc. But this quarantine of going no where and seeing no one except my husband it can drive you nuts. But I am trying to work on doing more positive things. I have done so much outside it is useless but too hot right now anyway. I have turned to trying my photography and painting again along with exercise and other things. I have started watching movies again. I went almost a year with very little interaction with the telly! Sooooo, if you are locked in, just try and find something that you never had time for before or couldn’t do because you were busy!
I actually went to the Yoga room and did some Yoga to clear my mind a bit, relieve some anxiety and just to do SOMETHING to bring tranquility. I did some prayers, some meditation and I even did Tai Chi. You would think my body would be rock tight but no. I am not. Why? because once I am done hunger sets in and I am bored so I eat. Junk. Then I try to make up for it with fruit and veggies. But all in all at least I do have something to help. Or at least I think I do. My writing has been so scrambled here lately I think I need a trip to the Beach. Oh wait. they are closing most of them again. Do saltwater baths act like the Ocean? just kidding. lol
Omgosh! I am waiting for the results from my test after my beloved flew to California and so I have to be tested to see my daughter’s baby. I am scrolling along and yep. I see it. NOW, there is a new strain of swine flu in China that could have pandemic proportions. Oh that is nice. I mean, this is getting beyond crazy. I am going to have to go out into the sweltering heat just so I can clear my mind (if the Sahara dust has cleared up enough) and try to find something funny to get my mind off of this. Even Lucifer, the dog, has not been out in days. I hope he is okay. Maybe I could throw a rock at the neighbors door (just kidding) and get her to bring him for a walk. Or maybe I should just suck it up and try to focus on something else. Quarantine is not good for me obviously. lol.
Actually they have been around for a while. Similar to mad cow disease but now they are saying humans can contract it from their urine, etc. etc. and of course by eating them. But it cautions mainly hunters and say’s to watch for the signs of a Zombie type walk and stuff like that. So, I am waiting anxiously for the Dinosaur eggs. I think maybe I will select a one of those tiny ones that group together but I will just have one. Kind of like a baby lizard. lol. Or maybe next we will have a new version of dragonflies. I posted a pic here of the alleged toxic blue lone Dragonfly of the Amazon. lol. No, just a joke pic I made. I have to do something. so I am creating my own monsters. lol. I think I might need some interaction with another human or two. Have a great day/night fellow bloggers!
I just saw this and cracked up after my last blog. lol. See? I told you all. Expect anything! Just kidding. this is NOT real. We all need some fun right now. Have a great day/evening fellow bloggers and wonderful WordPress friends.