It was and is at the worst times of my life that I need you, not during the good. The good times are when we can laugh together. But to be able to laugh, it is so needed to have you there when it is storming in my mind, the rain is pouring, I have prayed, cried, tried, or done anything to make this chaos go away.
You always have an excuse or “it is my fault” but love is about being there during those times. You are for others. When I am at my worst is when I need you to be there at your best. I never knew that being there when I was needed but then asking for help when I need it would result in so much judgment. I thought that was what love was for. I believe, of course, I will get through it but I just needed you. And you were gone until everything was fine again. But it has always been that way.
The sweet singing of birds, Children laughing, people smiling.
Butterflies dancing on the flowers, Bees flitting about.
A card or note sent to say I love you, a hug when needed.
ladybugs with their beautiful colors and flowers that color our world.
A baby that smiles for the first time, your child say’s their first word.
Your significant other brings you flowers, you give them the gift they have been wanting and you both smile.
The sound of falling rain, the shaking of thunder.
The world is full of so many beautiful things. We just have to look and take in a breath.
When we are 10, 19 or 20 is old. When we are 20, 40 is old, when we are 30, 50 is old, when we are 50, 80 is old and on the cycle goes. But what I am learning is that old is never old in our minds. Inside of us, we are still young and it is hard to realize time is passing by so fast. But unless there is a medical issue, the older we get, the more we learn, the more we are aware but also we are still the 20 year old hiking, or sitting on the beach, catching those rays of sun, or looking at pictures of our grows kids and thinking, “Man, that went by quick.” But in our minds we know that we are still those young beautiful people who do not just sit in a rocking chair as some assume and glance at nothing. Most of us, if able are still active, have new ideas everyday, new adventures we want to try. So, OLD is NEVER OLD.
Hello world out there! In a society where many people have their contact with other humans here or on social media, we need to connect. It may be joining each other’s facebook to talk with people we have become friends with, such as places like here. Who knows what adventure may come of it? We might actually meet up, a few of us and go do something in the real world. We might live too far away so we connect somewhere. But we NEED the connection. I say what does it hurt to try it? Start a group where we can all keep up with each other, find out what we like and don’t like. What we love and don’t love but if nothing else, connect and make new friends.
My aloof cats always decide when I exercise to become one with my hair, my legs, my mat my face, my feet. I mean, I find myself in a tangle trying to twist and turn while juggling paws that are slapping at me or attacking the mat. They are so crazy. And yoga? Omgosh! That is like trying to battle wild tigers. They come behind me and attack my hair, jump on my back, step in front of my ipad and sit there, staring at me. Is there an exercise program for cats? hahahahahaahha
My cats are like no other I have ever had. I think they are mixed with bobcat. I found the mommy (now named Twilight since she is black with a touch of white)when she was pregnant. She was so young I brought her in when it came close to having her kittens and she did fine. She had two sets of twins. Two black and two striped. We named them Trooper, Scout, Pixie and Midnight. My husband built a catio where they can actually come in and out of the heat.
It has been a bit since my cat passed and this many at once is new to me. Well, they are a few months old now, mom has been fixed and we are working on these. But Scout and Trooper hunt me like a wildcat. They sneak up behind me and pounce on my back. They can actually climb a wall halfway. They wait until night and then all four prowl outdoors and inside and they make the loudest noises. I think they are people jumping up the stairs.
The other two, Pixie and Midnight love to play and be petted. So do Scout and Trooper unless it is hunting time. I think they are actually stalking me. Did I mention they like to wait until I am crossing the room and then knock into my legs almost tripping me. They watch the news. yes. The news. I laugh but there are those times, well, I just don’t know if maybe my cats are aliens.
Sometimes I have really,really bad days. But on those days I try hard to find beauty in something. My marigolds with their bright and multi colored schemes, the wild kittens that came from nowhere and play in those tall Marigold bushes. Yeah, I planted so many they look like bushes as opposed to individual plants. 🙂 I look at the sky and struggle to find whatever shapes i can to get my mind off the drudgery.
I also find beauty on my good days. My wonderful pets who snuggle or my cats who are aliens. I never figure them out. One minute they want to be petted and the next,they act like wild cats and pounce on me unsuspected. I smile at the joy my little Ki brings as she reads me books and tells me about her imaginary journeys from these books.
I find a smile when i look at my girls photos, one who left this earth so many years ago but her smile in that photo reminds of her life and the joy she brought us with it. My other daughter with her determination and sometimes, too much like mine stubborn yet open personality. I find joy in the catio my husband made so the pets could be protected from predators.
There is a lot of hate in this world but maybe if we can focus on the beautiful, we can get through it and live for the moment if nothing else.