I never had a home that I grew up in for years with friends that I kept and still know. We moved around several times a year and I often wonder when I hear others talk about it what that would have been like. It seems like a Fairytale to me. Not to say that I was not happy but it just never gave me the chance to bond those friendships. I remember some homes we had that I loved and I have family we visited often when we lived in another state. Just when I was talking to someone the other day and listening about their home and how they grew up, I thought, “wow, that sounds so wonderful!” All in all, I learned many things moving around, I got to see many different States in our beautiful Country and it made me adjust to change which is ironic because now I have to force myself from a rigid routine BUT I just wish maybe sometimes I had that to reflect on. Life as a child drifter. Lol. Have a great day/evening wherever you are!
Well, my friend Yoga and I have not seen each other in a bit. Between chaos, life and so much going on I have to admit I have not been on the mat. I have exercised but I have just not been wanting to visit my trusted mat of Peace and tranquility. my exercise that can make me feel so good but can be so hard. But today I rolled it out and here we were. Just the Yoga videos and me. I have to say I feel great but I also have to admit I am sore. Yoga is a great way to go from weak to strngth. Loving it! have a great day/evening everybody! 🙂
I have found when someone wants to antagonize or start a problem, they will keep on and on to try and get you to argue. Don’t. Let them continue ranting and raving. when they say that you are not”at peace” with things or that you are listening to Satan (one of my favorites) just because you do not agree with them just go on and let them be. These kind of people want a war and I am learning not to give them what they want. As long as I know I am trying to do right and I am a good person then i have learned it is because they want me to feel at odds or to not believe in me. But I do. So i have learned that when that happens, i now turn the channel in my mind to positive thinking and just do not respond to the negativity. 🙂
So much has changed in this new “normal”. Locked in, facetime for family and friends, mask, anxiety, Fear, sickness, tears, a longing to be with those you love, a desire to be in that church you always assumed would be open. The Yoga classes, the gym and the work place where it was always such a chore. the schools where our children met, learned and played. This new “normal” has sucked in so many ways. But there have been blessings too. Learning to appreciate what we took for granted. The freedom to see who we wanted when we wanted, the ones who loved being alone then found that having the opportunity to get out taken away made some of us want to reach out. It has made me have such an appreciation for things I just never worried about. I never knew wearing a mask could be so weird but I know how those with cancer must have felt or feel. The blessings have been seeing just how much we will now absorb and breathe in the ability to be able to be free again. So, along with the chaos cam the blessing of learning again how precious life can be.
I am trying to replace negative thoughts and mindset with a positive one. I just an extreme over thinker and I am also an Empath/ Discerner so that can be hard but I am learning slowly to replace those negatives with a positive. So, when I worry about a person or a thing and if, for example, they are mad or upset or if I have done something, I replace it with No, there is nothing I have done and if I have, I apologize but like I used to. I do not worry now for days and every minute. I just replace with the thought that I did what i could so there. When I over worry about what could happen, I stay in the moment and realize I am fine for now. It is a very long process but at least I am giving it my best shot. i am also doing positive imaging. Try to place positive images in my mind. So, that is my place for now!
In Georgia we get so many seasons rolled into one week until Summer. Each week, (unless it is Summertime when we have pretty much nothing but hot, sweltering, skin drenched days of heat, ) we get just such a variety of Weather. Like one day it is 65 to 70 and Sunny, the next day we have monsoon rain and flooding to be followed by a possible choice (not ours of course) of either really warm and breezy or not breezy, or Icelandic temps with gushing and biting wind that can give you frostbite. Of course no snow with any of that or rarely anyway. If we have rumors of snow, then yes, it is true. we get people buying all of the milk and bread up. Mix into that, during this spell of temps., you can sometimes fit in a Summer day with hot temps. Then Summer comes. Just hot, hotter and hottest. So, there is our yearly forecast for sweet Peach and pumpkin filled Ga. I might add, I do love it here. Just not the weird climate. lol.
I know. I just wrote about it. But I get writer’s block from so much time inside and I think of things I want to write about and then come here and bam. Blank. I cannot get the words. I am a bit agitated as well. plus all the Political things I try to avoid if I can so there is that. So I am back to using the Yoga to help me stay as calm as I can, the Meditation to help me to try and relax so I can write and lots of Prayer just to get me through. On top of that, my Empath/ Discernment is at an all time high. THAT does not help but I have tons of time to think and observe things socially online soooo… lol… Yes, I am just a tons of laughs! lol.
WHY? I sometimes ask myself that question. Often, actually. Why I chose to continue to listen to things said to me as a child. I would never be good enough, I was ugly, I caused problems, I was the reason people did bad things and on and on. I was just a kid. But as I was growing up, those thoughts that were seeded started to grow. On the outside, I seemed to be strong and confidant. On the inside I was a disaster waiting to happen.
And one day, it did happen. all of that negativity set in after the death of my second child. Walls inside started to crumble. A strong mind started to shift. I quit being honest. I just kind of fell apart. I caved in to all the thoughts and the toxic talk. My brain accepted it and I fell. Anxiety set in, doubts, fears and so much.
Now, after a lot of Prayer, Meditation, therapy, and positive thoughts I am starting to climb the crumbled wall of my mind back up to the top. Back to the Sun. I know i will rise above this fear and anxiety. it may take time but it took time to get there. Above all, I ask myself WHY did it take so long to realize those words were painful but not true. I don’t know. But as long as I am trying, I guess it does not matter. NEVER let someone’s toxic words or ways come into your head. It destroys. BUT, you can recover if you learn to stop believing them.
I want to get back to more cheerful post but this is a tough time of year for me and 2020 sure has not helped. However, with a lot of stress and that time of year I cry over my daughter ( natural when you lose a child) and she loved the Holidays and then left us in February, three days after Valentines. Soooo, to try and bring some happy that is locked inside of me. So I am doing my exercises and prayer and doing the things needed to help me appreciate my blessings. I am blessed to have this place to come to.
I know if, like me, many empaths like old homes. The history, the feelings, the lives, the everything that comes with them. It is like walking back into time. I know for me, I have been in some that I could feel so many different things. Some good, some bad but all of them are unique and I love them. The photo shown is just one I found and not beauty at its best but the history behind it must be incredible!