When I lost my children, one at two days, my son Ryan, and my daughter, Nikki in a wreck with three of her friends, I did not realize how much grief can change on a daily basis. It takes a while to get over the shock that numbs you from going insane but it does not stop the pain or tears. I never realized the ups and down and like a flowing river, you have calm places, turbulent areas and dangerous pulls. Grief has been like that to me. I have times I am calm and smile at the memories. Days when I fall apart and just cry. I also have days when anger overcomes it all and I find myself fighting the pain. As time goes on I find more days of calm water but the under current is always there. Waiting.
WOW! I have had a LOT of family hit with Covid the last month or so and now another one this week. This is a horrible thing for them and it is scary. Some do great and whip through while others are having a harder time. So I have been focusing on that and I am just too mentally drained to write. This is such a hard situation. You go loco if you try to be cautious and stay away from people and places but then I have seen first hand where going out or just even using every pre-caution you can they still got it. I am ready for this bad boy to hang up its guns and go away!
I usually have as most of us do, Thanksgiving with family and then I usually have our Annual Christmas party at my home where most of the family tried to gather together. However, due to everyone dealing with sickness, Covid, etc. or just the scare of Covid, I had to cancel my party this year. However, I decided to put up some Christmas anyway and early. Yes, I know. Only November but I love glitter, it helps my anxiety right now and so it makes me smile. So I posted a couple of my Holiday pics. If you hate it when people do that and I usually wait at least until after Thanksgiving (lol) then you may not want to peek. haahaha. Good day/evening fellow bloggers!
I can come and share with some of the best bloggers in the World. I can express what I think, feel and like or do not like and we all stand in acceptance of each other, even when we may not agree. I love to be able to be myself and share my innermost feelings, my life in Society and just anything that helps to love, live, appreciate and enjoy. I share my heart when I am down about the loss of children, depression, anxiety, yoga, well you get it. Here. I can be me.
Just because she needed someone to listen. this picture just stole my heart. it isn’t a wonderful spectacular photo . It is a photo that say’s I love you. I will be here.
Another love taken. I just miss you. I miss I couldn’t see you as you were dying because of a Virus. I miss your smile, your hugs. I just miss you. I miss you all. I wish you could be here to see the new baby that is coming and be here with your family. we love you.
I had heard many stories of elderly couples whose spouse got sick and they had to be apart after years of being with each other. It has been devastating for them. It happened to my family this week. After a battle with many cancers, my dad was finally beating another. He was weak but recovering at home. Then the virus hit and his Doctor appointments were cancelled but he seemed to be okay. Then, he started having pain. We had ambulances come to check him but he was scared to go to the hospital. He knew he would be separated from my mom due to the Covid-19 rules. Finally, he had to go. They took him and no she couldn’t be there. due to his pain, he was checked. No Covid-19 but his Cancer had come back and he had it everywhere. He had to spend his first 24 hours away from any of us. Then he was moved to Hospice, where, thank God, my mom was allowed to spend his last few hours with him though no other family. They had never spent much time apart in all of their marriage. If not for the brief hours at Hospice, he would have had to die alone with NO family. PLEASE if you know of any families going through this, elderly or even young families, find a way you can be there for them. There are so many ways to reach out if you cannot be there in person. Hugs to all of us fellow/bloggers/ writers. Rest well now my sweet Dad.
I am finding myself doing things I have not done for a while. Art, outside gardening, writing on my stories, playing board games. Yeah! I have not done that in years. Trying to reconnect with family that has been in some areas drawn away from each other. Talking to family and friends on the phone or face timing. Making pictures and working on my graphics for memory photos and just for fun. So, fellow bloggers, how about you? Have you done old things into new again? Upping the Yoga, Prayer or other forms of comfort? I am . Hugs to you all!
Cinnamon oil, Eucalyptus oil, tea tree oil, lemon or lemongrass oil. Lavender & of course clove oil. Try them in a mix of scents you like by mixing in a bottle three parts water (small bottle) a tsp. or less of Vodka, a few drops of your favorite oils (listed above) and if you do not like the smell just try and do your best to deal with it because they kill off these viruses. You do not get the chemicals in these other room sprays and I am sick right now so I am going to make up some sprays I have not used in months. I use diffusers but not the sprays like I should. Give it a shot. It cannot hurt.
So, my daughter is having her second child and what a walk in the park. I feel empowered because now SHE needs me. hahahaha. My sweet precious daughter wants me to keep said baby coming at least one day a week after she goes back to work. I am elated, no mistake about it but wow what a change. Now it is I could never trust anyone but you and I do not want her in daycare (understood, neither do I) but if you read about the first grandchild you can see why I find it a bit amusing. With the first, you would have thought I had not given birth to my OWN child. hahahahaha. Anyway, of course I said I would but I am just a bit amused at the change and the difference of how now I am suddenly the best thing to ever happen to a body. All joking aside, I am glad she has realized I am capable of holding and keeping a baby and I am happy she realizes she trusted me all along but child number one was just like all of us first time moms. Just wanted to share a bit of when your kids have kids humor.