The Power of Love and why it can humble you

Yesterday I was humbled by love. I made a Birthday cake for my sister. I hated it but my brother in law had so desperately wanted to get that cake made in time. But work, passing schedules and everything seemed it was not to be. I had the cake mix and items that had been purchased on my table so i decided to try and do it for him so my sis could have her cake.

I made it and I fussed at it and hated it because I couldn’t get the writing to come out of the tube right and I usually use my baggie and icing. Besides, I thought, “WHY is she going to care about this dumb stupid cake with so much going on?” I had given her her present and I figured she would probably just fling it out the window anyway when she had it was so horribly made. I was ill because i can make some pretty cakes but I just didn’t have the stuff needed yesterday.

She came by later and I ran out to the car to give her this thing of a cake and braced myself for the look of a pretend smile and trying not to hurt my feelings when she saw the hideous thing before her. She didn’t. She cried and thought it the most beautiful cake ever! She cried that my bro in law had wanted her to have it so bad and it got made. ON her Birthday.

I realized then that sometimes what we think is a horrible gift or something someone may not even want actually may be the one thing that “at that moment” is just what they need. I realized that all my fussing was worth every minute to realize how much a brown cake meant to my sister. And now I know why we, as humans, need each other. LOVE. A simple act of trying to show kindness can be just what the doctor ordered at that time.

So, next time you are looking for the “perfect gift”. it may come in the form of a brown cake, a hug, sharing tears, being there, or just saying I love you. Maybe it could be an act of showing up to help someone in whatever area of need they may have. No matter how small. Yesterday I felt humble. Thank you God for helping to remember how that feels.

ADDICTION- The Silent Destroyer

Most of us have one. An addiction to something and that in itself is okay I guess. But there are other addictions that are stronger, more dangerous and they destroy. So, I will focus on the top ones I think are the most destructive and cause the most damage. Listed as follows: Pornography and drugs. There are many many more but these two seem to me to destroy the most lives of everyone around them.

Let’s start with pornography. People who watch it think it, “Hey, it is up to me, or in some cases, me and  my partner” but that is not really the case, in my opinion. First, it degrades the women AND men in the films. It gives a view of an unrealistic way of how sex should be. It leads some people to the lowest form which is child pornography. As for the adult pornography, eventually, it comes to a point where it is almost not even real sex. It is just people doing a ritual with one after another after another for hours on end.

Pornography destroys lives, marriages, families, children and it is a debased way of thinking. Sex is meant to be a beautiful union between two people. I know many will disagree with me but this is, just my opinion. How can any woman compete with a woman on a movie who usually looks like she is in top form, can do anything and I mean anything and a man who, well most men would envy I suppose.

I am not a person who has been around the block but I have watched it to see what the big deal was and I see men who are unusually um, well endowed i guess i should say and women who look like they have never lived out side of a gym. Perfect bodies and well, you get the point. The problem? Most men are average, most women are flawed in some area so the expectations will never be met. The most destruction though comes from the fact that it destroys so many people and to me that is sad. For whatever reason, it does something to the mind and normal isn’t normal anymore.

Drugs. Wow, this one could go on and on. Alcoholics are to me a part of this group.  Once a person becomes addicted to drugs, that becomes their God. They will do anything, say anything and go to any lengths to get what they need.  There is no path they wont cross, no heart they won’t break, no thing or person who will stop them and no lie they won’t tell. It isn’t personal. It is addiction. Parents, spouses,  children, friends, family. It isn’t about trying to hurt them but about an addiction that has taken over their lives. Whether it is prescription, illegal, or a combination of both the destruction goes in so many ways.

Loss of families, homes, jobs, feelings, lack of empathy, lack of clear or good thinking, loss of morals, making them also do things they would have never done before. So, we are at war and until or if we ever win this war, i think addictions like these are the saddest thing to ever hit our world.

God, do you hear me? I think sometimes you do.

God, I often come to you in despair, sometimes in joy, sometimes to talk and sometimes to cry. I often wondered if you heard me and sometimes I still do. But I know that you are listening and I know you know what I need.

You gave me the ability to love art and photography and my family and people. Abused animals and children are what I hurt for the most. People say why do bad things happen? I don’t always know but I know that we have free will. When a person does something bad, you are blamed first.

Why? You gave us minds to think on our own and to choose our own paths. if a person kills, steals, rapes. abuses  or other horrific things, it was a choice they made. I sometimes question you and ask, “Are you listening? Don’t you hear my cry?” But yes, you do. I just don’t always have the patience to wait out the answer.

I am human and sometimes God, I get mad at how the answers turn out and I get hurt when I have asked and it doesn’t come to be. But then, I am human. And we know how that goes. So I just wanted to say that even when i am unsure, yes, I know you are listening and sometimes, when I stop long enough to give you a chance, I feel you there.

When did you forget her?

Not the first year. Not much the second year but when she died, when did you forget her? Her name is rarely mentioned, her fb is never written in memory, her picture is never liked. Did you forget her when it was less painful to remember or did you just not really think of her even before?

Did you forget what she brought to our lives? Did you forget as life went on and it really meant that forgetting her was part of it? Do you ever go to her site and just remember? Did you forget how she laughed, did your forget her beautiful smile?

I wonder because I did not, can not and will not. I will never forget the horrible crash or the fire that consumed her body so that we could only do a cremation. I will never forget the part of my heart that left with her and I am glad because I am reminded everyday she is gone. I am glad she does not have to suffer anymore but I still remember.

Did you forget her when it became more of a hassle to put somewhere that you loved her? Was it because she was 23 and not 10 when she died? Was it because she meant nothing of enough importance to even think about? Look at her picture, think of who she was and I hope, then, you remember.

I often question

Yes, I sometimes question God. Quite often actually. But I know that I am honest when I pray about I feel. I do not sugarcoat because sometimes I do NOT understand why.

I don’t understand many things so I question them. I ask God all kinds of questions. I asked when i am hurt, lonely, confused, angry or whatever.

But that is okay because even if I am asking questions, he knows I at least care enough to ask and that means I am there, spending time and trying to get the answers.

Why are we bad examples as Christians?

Why? Simple. because so many of us judge, think we are “better” than the “non” Christians and we are haughty, rude and sometimes downright mean. That is not what the example of Christ is supposed to be.

Don’t get me wrong. We are humans and therefore we fail. period. We are supposed to love unconditionally but that doesn’t mean we have to be doormats. What it does mean is do not expect a person who does not believe to be like you. First of all, we are to show the example, not judge the person or people who believe different.

Also, there are plenty of non Christians who are kinder than we are. That is sad. We should try and show the love of Christ through example but not by brow beating or judging or not keeping “company” with those we feel are not “like” us. Remember Jesus dined, walked and was among those that had no belief in him and had lifestyles not accepted in that time.

The very people we shun are the very people we should be talking to. Yes, we hang with other Christians but we also hang with those who are not. How can you show an example if you are never around them. Our churches are just building. The real church is us. So, we need to practice what we preach. IF we have done all we could and we are still mocked, scorned and treated bad no matter what we do, then love but walk away.

However, also remember when you pass that beggar on the street, or ignore someone asking for food, judge because someone isn’t “like” you, you are worse than they ever were. Be the example, not the Judge.