“Christians” or at least many of them in this day and time and believers…. There is a difference.

And you call yourself a Christian?
How many times have you heard someone say that? Well, My answer is. No. I call myself a believer of God and Jesus Christ. Today, I associate that word Christian with the pharisees of the Bible. Why? Because most of today’s “Christians” love if you love, they are kind if you are kind and never make a mistake. They do forgive if you beg after you have “offended” or “hurt” them but it takes a lot to get their saintly forgiveness. They love to gossip in the name of “Let’s pray for THAT one. They got issues. They like to helpful to those they choose. God forbid you have an emotional, spiritual or childhood trauma that may cause you to be “different”.
Then you are rejected (they don’t say it, they just do not speak or acknowledge your existence). They find the many specks in your eyes but not the planks blinding theirs. If you are emotionally at a weak stat and you lash out in hurt from what they wounded you with, then YOU are the “Monster” who needs help. Saints like these people cannot possibly have that toxin in their lives. Well, “Christians”, here is what the Bible says. Maybe you review your scripture a little better because churches are failing with the onslaught of perfect “Christians”. Try out these verses:

Matthew 6:9-15
1 John 1:9-10
Matthew 6:14-15
Luke 17:3-4
Ephesians 4:31-32
Matthew 5:43-48 43″You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Luke 6:27-36
bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. “But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. “But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, read more.
“Whoever hits you on the cheek, offer him the other also; and whoever takes away your coat, do not withhold your shirt from him either. “Give to everyone who asks of you, and whoever takes away what is yours, do not demand it back. “Treat others the same way you want them to treat you. “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. “If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. “If you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners in order to receive back the same amount. “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.

Romans 12:14-21
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly Do not be wise in your own estimation
So, I left some Bible verses to be read because most will not even read them. So, For me, I am a believer and a follower of God who fails everyday but I forgive, I love, I try and I am human.

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The difficult life of Anxiety….. Why we feel alone.

They will never understand. They will never try to understand or they just can’t. Depression, anxiety, panic, alone or the feeling of it, is not contagious. But here we are, one day doing great and the next, falling apart. We try and struggle. Do they think we chose this or understand why we are going through it all? It is like a pit viper who catches you off guard when you stumble upon it.
We never asked for this and God knows we battle the demons that seek us out. We laugh through the pain, we cry alone and we search for anything to help us to get through. We seek love and acceptance from those who refuse to see that we ARE different and we NEED to be understood or at least loved through dark moments.
But sometimes, if people cannot see an illness, they do not get it. But most of all, in this world today, we have to be happy, smiling and ready to be “cured” because life is about being perfect. No, life is about reality and accepting that someone you love may be different because Life has made them different through different circumstances. We just need people to say hey, maybe I do not understand but here, let me hold your hand so you know you are not alone in this battle.

Anxiety, Panic and the two of me in one……

I have realized I have two mes. Not a split personality but one part of me that is the old me, still strong and bold. The other me that started when the panic and anxiety came and I seem to cause everything to bother me or I get anxious or panicked. Same person but conflicting emotions.
There are times when I am fine and I handle things like I used to. That person had deep faith, a strong personality, to strong sometimes and then there is the panic me that worries about everything, prays to get that strength back in whole , cries, panics, worries and that part of me I do not like.
Because it shouldn’t be happening but it is. Maybe some of it is past issues and maybe some of it is things I repressed for so long coming out but whichever, not something I like.
I sometimes wonder if I can use the old me to goad the me now into going back and fixing whatever started this. But I think I have to just stop over thinking. I have to stop making disasters out of things that have not and probably will NOT happen. BUT, if they do, then I just have to deal with it.
What about my fellow brothers and sisters who go through this? Do yuo have a thought, opinion or advice?

I think of you…..everyday.

I know you left us so many years ago and we never got to say goodbye. I never got to see you again after that day because the wreck was so bad and the car blew up. But I want you to know that I think of you everyday. I will never forget your laughter or that beautiful smile.
I will never forget how hard you fought to make bullies your friend but you were a bit different. A little bit of Autism can do that. I know how you got through each day and it was hard when you were young but as you got older you decided to fight back with kindness. That must have been so hard when it was years before you could relate to others like other kids did.
But you got better and you got stronger and you laughed and you made our family laugh and you didn’t care what anybody thought about you because you accepted yourself for you. That made me so proud. I miss all of that and our talks on the porch and the way you had of making things better.
But just so you know, I STILL think of you everyday. I will love you. Always. Love, mom. Sara Nicolle “Nikki”. 1984-2007.

When Life is just confusing… Smile.

I am sometimes so confused by people and life in general so i am learning to just smile and go on. We can be a light for others by our actions and for those who choose different paths or different ways to treat you just smile. And go on. Know that you are good, kind and a wonderful person and do not let negative people who put you down or ignore you or try and find reasons not to like you to go along their way,. It is not worth the effort to wrack our brains on what we did wrong. Nothing, we did nothing wrong.
In life itself, I just do not understand sometimes but there is a reason and a season for everything so again, just smile. Even if we have to grit our teeth while doing it. Because life is what it is and we just have to make the best of what we have and strive to keep getting better. We can control some things in life and some we cannot. But we can accept it and realize that being upset will not change it. Does that mean I never get upset? NO. I have a tendency to over think and to make huge volcanic moutains out of a tiny anthill. BUT, I am trying to change that. Stress less, smile more and sometimes, Grit your teeth while doing it. lol.

Working on My Fairy and cactus gardens!

It is time to get going. I have the oils out there and I use them for sure. I am into Lavender for calming today as I work on my cactus and fairy gardens. I will post pics as i finish them! For all of my friends on here and also my fellow anxiety pals, have a beautiful day and weekend!

Remember, we get through each struggle a little stronger, a little happier and with knowledge that the battle is hard but we are warriors to be able to fight this anxiety and panic. Every good day is just awesome. Every bad day is weight lifting of the mind.

Life on the Grid

I am enjoying the day, listening to the rain and just hoping all of you out there are having a good day. In a world of chaos, conflict , panic, anxiety and depression, it is nice to also find the joy, peace, good days, a song you just like to hear even if you have listened to it 100 times,lol and well, just have a good day! So to all of my friends out here, I hope it is a great day for you!