So, I define my panic attacks and my anxiety on a separate plain. Because panic attacks bother me worse than anxiety if that makes sense. BUT, I have found with both that trying to keep positive thoughts in my head seem to help a lot. Avoiding people who want to criticize me. Trying to find beauty in anything. I also try to be more positive when I can. Sometimes, during anxiety, I can be hateful and not very kind but it is because I am about to scream in my brain that I am a jello square jiggling all over.
So, that is me and my issues today. so far, pretty good on things! I hope all my fellow strugglers are doing good too!
It isn’t like I don’t try. yoga, exercise, meds, walking, thinking positive thoughts, prayer, meditation, and the list goes on. Yes, I have many more good days than bad but it STILL hits, especially at night. I just wondered if anyone else has this problem besides me?????????????????????
what a rollercoaster ride anxiety is.
It depletes you
makes you fear
you get better
then you fall again.
I work out
and then I worry
I eat better
then I crash.
Then several weeks can go by
And I am great
Then BAM! it hits
out of nowhere.
I AM doing better but I
want it to go away
So I can fully live again.
OUCH! I was just writing a short bit ago how I am staying busy to keep anxiety down and I have been doing good and them BAM! I stepped outside and my heart just felt like it was racing! I was really taken off guard because I have been doing so well.
But this is life with panic and anxiety. It can come from nowhere and when you don’t even expect it at all. It has calmed a little since I have been steadily writing but it has not completely quit racing. I guess I just have to accept it as a reality and face it head on but man can it be hard to do. But I am trying and I am doing all I can to adjust and try to keep it out of my mind. It is times like these when it comes out of no where that bother me the most.
I got through. I made it. I did it. Such a chaotic week BUT I was blessed and got through it and even had a bit of fun in there with a cute little sprite and family. So, now I am coming off the adrenaline needed (pure not a drug adrenaline) from the fight or flight and a moment of light headedness like I used to get BUT I just hope that is all there is and that it is okay. 🙂
But the good thing is that a few months ago even, I would have been having daily panic or anxiety melt downs. So, hoping this means the road is getting better on my journey. I sure would love that!
Some days are great now and some days I am just a wreck. I have never had something so hard to deal with or understand. I cannot seem to fix this no matter what I do. Yes, it is better than it was but I do prayer, yoga, meditation, stay busy and think positive. I try not to over think anymore, a challenge in itself.
I try to do ALL of the things I have read about and I ty to just “let” things go but I swear, there are still days I am like freaked out. Today both of my arms hurt. why? who freaking knows? I have cut back on a lot of things. I hate it. I hate the feeling it gives me at times. I have even become more social. Oh well, I guess for whatever reason, it is still a fight no matter what I do. But I just keep trying to get better with it. I think maybe I need therapy for my daughter and losing her but after 12 years, I thought I was coping okay with it but I don’t think I am. ANXIETY and PANIC sucks. lol
I have come really far in my battle against panic and anxiety and I am so glad but yesterday, it just hit out of the blue. I have been staying busy but I saw the signs coming and I was like, NO! But it came anyway and so I had to ride the tide through it. I finally did get through but I have to say wow, it sure came out of nowhere! So, I just battle on but at least I am still trying. 🙂