Yes, I called him that. The little Chihuahua across the Subdivision that would stalk with his owner, often jerking loose and chasing us and any thing that moved. Or didn’t, like a pebble that he felt threatened him or his master. He has chased cats, us, leaves, wind and well you get it. He caused such havoc because his tiny self is a little terror. He gave me a break when my sweet little Pom mix Buddy passed almost as if he knew I was grieving and maybe he did. But now, as i see him from my window sometimes and sometimes from the safety of my front door nearby (should I need to jump back inside) I have learned to just laugh at him. He is a tiny thing but he has no fear. Of ANYTHING or anyone. Maybe I could learn a thing or two from this little creature who thinks he is a Dragon. Actually, maybe I have. 🙂
So much has changed in this new “normal”. Locked in, facetime for family and friends, mask, anxiety, Fear, sickness, tears, a longing to be with those you love, a desire to be in that church you always assumed would be open. The Yoga classes, the gym and the work place where it was always such a chore. the schools where our children met, learned and played. This new “normal” has sucked in so many ways. But there have been blessings too. Learning to appreciate what we took for granted. The freedom to see who we wanted when we wanted, the ones who loved being alone then found that having the opportunity to get out taken away made some of us want to reach out. It has made me have such an appreciation for things I just never worried about. I never knew wearing a mask could be so weird but I know how those with cancer must have felt or feel. The blessings have been seeing just how much we will now absorb and breathe in the ability to be able to be free again. So, along with the chaos cam the blessing of learning again how precious life can be.
I am trying to replace negative thoughts and mindset with a positive one. I just an extreme over thinker and I am also an Empath/ Discerner so that can be hard but I am learning slowly to replace those negatives with a positive. So, when I worry about a person or a thing and if, for example, they are mad or upset or if I have done something, I replace it with No, there is nothing I have done and if I have, I apologize but like I used to. I do not worry now for days and every minute. I just replace with the thought that I did what i could so there. When I over worry about what could happen, I stay in the moment and realize I am fine for now. It is a very long process but at least I am giving it my best shot. i am also doing positive imaging. Try to place positive images in my mind. So, that is my place for now!
It is the hardest thing to deal with, in my opinion. I have learned to deal with it, because you never get “over” it. But I swim through some rough waters most of the year. Of course I think of her and her brother every day and I also love the life I have and am grateful for it. I just want them here with me to be a part of it but that cannot be. However, when those birthdays come close or the day of leaving us, it always hits hard. There is no stopping it even when I try not to focus on it. I am not saying this happens to all parents who lose a child but for me it happens. It is hard. Very hard. So hug your kids, enjoy your blessings and pray it never happens to you. Because I WAS you before it happened to ME. * never take for granted. I did.
This has been a year if I ever need to switch from negative to positive, this has been it. I realized how much negative was in my mind when battle after after mental battle erupted. Not to say i am totally negative because I have funny days as well but I have had to let go of a lot of it. Toxic thoughts, people, environment and more. But there, as in life, have been really good things and some really bad things that have happened this year. Maybe Covid made the bad things seem worse, I don’t know. So That is what I am trying to do. On the plus side, I have Lucifer (the Chihuahua guard dog to ensure a good chuckle when I am having really bad moments. I mean, as long as I can laugh safely away from him. Have a great day/evening everyone.
I want to get back to more cheerful post but this is a tough time of year for me and 2020 sure has not helped. However, with a lot of stress and that time of year I cry over my daughter ( natural when you lose a child) and she loved the Holidays and then left us in February, three days after Valentines. Soooo, to try and bring some happy that is locked inside of me. So I am doing my exercises and prayer and doing the things needed to help me appreciate my blessings. I am blessed to have this place to come to.
2020 has been the strangest year I have ever encountered I guess in my life. Viruses, hate, protest, division, monster bugs, new species of every area found, fires, tornadoes, tsunamis, hurricanes, draining of my discernment/empath mind, emotional vampires have been rampant. people losing their minds and the list goes on. Ouch! I have never seen a year like this one before and I have to say it has been so far a Mind Bender.! Wow! But I come here for the calm. The place where I share, care, read other blogs and have my read. So, I think today will be a reading day. I need some of YOUR writings to calm my storm and share in yours. or your anime, laughter, joy and tears. Have a great day/ night!
As you know if you read my blogs, I have anxiety. I do several things as you also know to try and calm it. I do Yoga. Not as often as I should. I breathe slow. I pray. I fight this battle that on some days is great and some days it is easily calmed. why? I don’t know. A great Universal question I guess. But I have started to saying in all ways and especially when I pray, there is nothing I can do about until I learn to conquer it. You take it. Then when it comes, I just keep that mindset. Things are what they are and I will not be able to change them by getting anxious so let it go. Soooo, this is experiment number 2, 9999. We will have to see where it goes. Have a great day/night blogging friends!
Thank you my friend for trying to help me. I am using some of the tools you showed me Raistlin0903. I am trying this now because I am getting so agitated with this. So here goes. Hi everyone. I am just playing around on this to see how these things will work. I am getting some of it! Thank you my sweet friend!
An introvert, mom, writer, empath, yoga freak, prayer lover, artist, writer, animal activist.
Poet, photographer, a lover of nature, traveling by car to see everything I can, anxiety fighter.
A person who loves too deep, thinks too much, writes because I love it, feels others pains and emotions, struggles with Yoga but I have a love/hate relationship.
A person who believes Life can be good because we have it.