Where Life Is real.
They do try but we cannot let them or they will destroy us. Think of them as a toxic friend and stay away. That is more I am learning as I learn each day how to battle these monsters.
Get creative. Read, write, concentrate on something at work. pray, meditate, yoga, breathing , singing, listen to music but keep fighting! It is within us! We can do this! It isn’t easy but it can be DONE!
I love little one that you share my love of Fairies. I have always loved them. We build a fairie garden every year and put their houses up and flowers and all kids of things. I love to make them and pretend they are there. Why? because it is just the beauty of those tiny little creatures flying around. Somewhere.
“But, nonna, we never see them so are they real?”
“I don’t know. We believe in air because it helps us to live but we never see it. And you know what? Even if fairies are not real, they are real in our minds”.
I know the child in me believes they and the adult in me say’s don’t be stupid. There is no such thing. But as long as we want to dream of them and believe in them, we can, my little. Just us. You and I.
It is cold here in Ga. So much for spring. hahaha. I am still looking at the positive. I got my seeds planted for flowers before it got cold so they are underground. We had a warm day. One. lol. So, here is my tip. I have been doing it for five years now. You plant your seeds and it worked on pansies too. They get these little pod things and you save those.
I have planted zinnias and marigolds and pansies so far. I plant them and when they die off, I take the dead flower and put it on a paper towel for a day or so and then crush it until the seeds fall on the paper towel. Then I put it in a paper bag and keep collecting. I plant the next year.
I went from paying 99 cents and up for a pack of maybe 15 seeds and now each year, I have about 500 each of seeds if not more and you can also do this with cantalope, watermelon, tomatoes, and cucumbers. SAVES you tons of money!
I am so confused. I am a good person, I think. I just do not understand why so many people have turned away and just ignore me. I am always trying to help, come when needed, and I used to do anything and still do that I could to help. I baked all of the family Birthday cakes and on and on.
However, when I got this panic disorder a few years ago is when it started. I reached out to family and friends to see if anyone could come by or text or pray or just come sit for a couple of hours. I had one friend who came, a sister who came when my husband called and I do have some family I connect with but I was cursed, told I was trying to take advantage of them and that being kind and helping them did NOT mean I was supposed to expect ANYTHING in return.
Needless to say, that hurt. But if I am such a good person and people will not answer my fb post or textes or etc. I can only figure maybe it is because I am outspoken? I am a person who believes it is better to be honest than to be two- faced or like many people now, just be fake, smile, say everything is fine when deep down, they are suffering.
Then the people who want to be friends or close family but only if you agree with everything and never say a word about your issues or if you do, you have to be in awe with their solution and do it or they shun me. If one sister in particular is upset with me, anyone around her ends up not speaking to me. I was also bitter for a while when my daughter died but this year marked 11 years and for anyone who has lost a child, it still hurts. Of COURSE you go on but it hurts. I had five family members contact me to say they were thinking of me and I have a HUGE family.
We were always a close family until my daughter died and then the family got more critical of me each year. I am no saint by any means and I am sure my being outspoken does NOT help but is it me or them? Am I that bad?
I post some of mine on here. Here is one. This is a form of trick photography. These are not actually on the stands. they are bubbles I took photos of, the real bubbles you blow and then I cloned them onto the candle holders.
Mine and I love making memories out of photos.
