The ability to read people can be hard. In the last few months, someone who has tried to destroy my reputation, my life and my ability to even write or do art because they are like a non stop plague has really affected me. Now, even with the ones they are “allowing” to speak to me because they think they succeeded in destroying me have fake faces and black hearts. They can smile all day and fill it with I love you’s. I believed it before because I loved so deeply but now I can see it for what it is. Fake. However, I did a lot of prayer, breathing and meditation this morning and I am not going to let them win. I am going to soldier on as they say and write, work on art, do my photography even if it means standing it alone. Better that than to be caught up again in a pit of snakes. It is hard because I am a kind person but so many times it is those with good hearts who get trampled on. All I can say is if you find yourself in my position, get the steel plated armor on and fight back by being as strong as you can. Let go of the toxin and let love for yourself take over. I hate when I rant like this but I hope to maybe help someone else who is facing what I have and encourage them. SOLDIER ON. Do NOT give up. 🙂
It has been too long since I felt the warm wet sand between my toes. I miss the sound of the waves as they rush on to the sand. The loud yet soothing boom of the ocean and that salty fresh smell. The beautiful sunrises and sunsets and just the over all peace that comes from the ocean. Like a siren singing her call I am drawn to this mystical place that makes me feel so calm and relaxed. Yes. i think it is time for a visit to the beautiful Ocean.
We have such a love/hate relationship even still. It is so great for relaxing the mind and hard on the body but only during the time doing it and then your body feels great. So, I still do it even though I feel like it is trying to tear my very muscles apart sometimes. Then, after a few hours I feel the tension leaving and I know it is because I need to do it daily and be reliant on doing it daily. So, my friend Yoga, I actually do love you but I may never love downward dog. lol
I just wrote on teen vaping which saddens me but I wanted to write a bit on the humorous side of teen life. Adults are dumb and they know everything. I know because there are plenty of them in my family to remind me of this. If you have any advice, fear not. They do not need it. We don’t “get” them and they have “got” this no matter what the subject is. If you think you need to explain why they cannot do something they want, they have you covered on that too. I think there is now a teen journal or some guide on telling you a valid reason why your no doesn’t make sense. Like 50 or more reasons. And, God forbid you try to give relationship tips to them. Just so e know, they already know how to cover any and all situations there. So finally, I have given up. Lol. NOBODY is smarter than todays teenager. Lol.
i see so many teens that vape and I hope every time they will stop but I know they probably won’t. For whatever reason it is thought to be safer or less addictive than smoking is beyond me. Plus it is so much easier for them to get. Older friends, siblings, parents etc. as they will tell you will get them for them. It is sad to see how many young kids are burning their lives away. But I guess as teens, most of us didn’t listen.
i have them at my home. The strange, quiet and majestic animals that come at night and eat some of my cats dry food. They are usually gray and black. Tonight I couldn’t sleep and stepped outside and there it was. An albino opossom. I know most find them ugly but they are funny to me. They are used to me so they will scamper away and then return when I am not close to the bowl. This one seems either injured or may have a deformity but I love it. It ate with me only a couple of feet away. I watched it and then, something I had never seen, it stopped and cleaned its face with its paws. i think I want to name it Oliver/Olivia. I never know if they are male or female. Welcome my newest home addition. I wish I had brought out my phone.
I went outside to just take a breather and I saw butterflies dancing around my flowers. I had to smile at their beauty and how they just seem happy to me. Just fluttering around and ignoring everything around them. The sound of men building a home across the street. The little dog Lucifer who is barking his fierce words or maybe joy at the World around him. Cats trying to catch them but they fly out of reach. Regardless, they just seem to be creatures that let nothing sway them from their mission. I think I should learn from these awe inspiring creatures.
When I lost my children, one at two days, my son Ryan, and my daughter, Nikki in a wreck with three of her friends, I did not realize how much grief can change on a daily basis. It takes a while to get over the shock that numbs you from going insane but it does not stop the pain or tears. I never realized the ups and down and like a flowing river, you have calm places, turbulent areas and dangerous pulls. Grief has been like that to me. I have times I am calm and smile at the memories. Days when I fall apart and just cry. I also have days when anger overcomes it all and I find myself fighting the pain. As time goes on I find more days of calm water but the under current is always there. Waiting.
Well, my friend Yoga and I have not seen each other in a bit. Between chaos, life and so much going on I have to admit I have not been on the mat. I have exercised but I have just not been wanting to visit my trusted mat of Peace and tranquility. my exercise that can make me feel so good but can be so hard. But today I rolled it out and here we were. Just the Yoga videos and me. I have to say I feel great but I also have to admit I am sore. Yoga is a great way to go from weak to strngth. Loving it! have a great day/evening everybody! 🙂