I write these blogs to encourage, to help people who suffer from issues I do, to bring hope to some who feel alone and to share stories and talk to fellow bloggers. I write a variety of things from quotes, thoughts on life, issues with panic and anxiety, stories, poems and more. I also share my photography and artwork that i do as part of my headline.
I hope it does help some and encourage. I hope others enjoy the poems, stories and thoughts. I also hope the art and photography brings a smile to some people. So, that is why I blog and I try to read as much as i can from my fellow bloggers, like and share some of the the things I like and although i may not always reply, I am reading. 🙂 Have a great day!
I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I feel and I cry.
I know you feel the same things too,
So we are not really that different- me and you.
We build walls around our lives and our hearts but sometimes it is okay to cry. Sometimes our hearts need the release of just letting it all out and letting it go. We live in a beautiful but harsh world where it seems to make you appear weak if you cry but you are not. You are strong and crying is an emotion of strength.
We have to face so many battles and obstacles that it can be a heavy load to bear and to constantly smile through it all, well kudos to those who can. I am just too human and open for all of that. I am strong willed, determined, but man, sometimes i just have to let it all out and have a good cry.
I feel such a release after. I pray, I live right the best I can, I try to do right by others, I pick my battles but life can be tough. So I just hope there are others like me who know that at times, a good old fashioned cry down is the cure for healing.
Sometimes we get stuck in an endless argument because neither side will cave because they are so sure “they” are right. But the key to letting go of that is to agree to disagree. You can argue a point with someone unless you get dragon breath and blow fire but it won’t change their mind.
However, we need to learn that are just times when we are NOT going to agree on something and make that leap to say, “Ok, let’s just agree to disagree. it doesn’t mean either party was right or wrong just that we cannot come to the same agreeable conclusion.
We just have a difference of opinion that can’t not should be forced on the other person because then it really is a type of bullying and they will end up just getting agitated anyway. So today, if you find yourself in that position. Just DO it. Agree to disagree. And then be happy.
I am just thinking and over thinking which I am so great at. lol. But realizing each day is what you deal with and worry about that day only. However, I am trying to cleanse my brain of all toxic thoughts, people and actions and keep it clean and clear.
I am trying to focus on things that are important and not things people might do, whether they realize it or not that will keep me thinking clearly and firmly in the positive. Of course there are negatives in life but I can still focus on what is the important and the real.
I am trying to keep any toxic people out of my life and out of my head. For those who suffer anxiety or panic, this is a must for us! We have to not re- think everything we say or do or that others say or do to us. it is what it is and people are who they are. Period.
We cannot change them but we can delete them from our lives in the way of letting them know we are no longer going to listen to negative thoughts about us or how we live. We have to go on and realize it is not our fault if someone tried to play on our weakness. It is only our fault if we let them.
So let’s be strong fellow sufferers and try to wipe all of that out and strengthen our hearts, minds and souls so we can recover in our own ways and enjoy life as it is. Have a GREAT day and stand STRONG!
We are in a Revolution America and racism and dividing us according to our races is pulling us apart. We need to unit as Americans. Why hate me because I am black, white, asian, latino, or any other race? We NEED to unite!
When it all comes down to the bottom line, we can work as a unit to help this Country and we can overcome anything thrown at us. But if we allow the media to continue to turn us against each other then we are in trouble.
We are all one nation, under God. We are allowing the media and our own personal feelings to cause us to turn on each other. The excuses of bad officers as an excuse for turning on each other is no excuse. There are good and bad people no matter what their profession or race. So let’s stop doing this and come together as a Country. United we WILL stand but DIVIDED we will fall.
It has been quite a while since i had a “moment”. One came last week even though I am on meds and it set off a whole new time of worry. Ugh! I hate that part. Soooo, back to mentally challenging myself until Lord Willing, follow up with cardiologist on Thursday.
I am a good percent sure it is or was panic or anxiety but strangely, i wasn’t even upset or stressed at that moment. I was talking to someone who was but i felt fine and then bam! there it came. Out of nowhere. What bothered me is I am on meds for it so i couldn’t figure out why it happened.
Then I call Doc and he says no probably not panic which led to the Cardio follow up. Then this morning I was stressed and had pain under my breast area and that freaked me out. Super ugh! I have doing really good so to have the episode was needless to say, upsetting.
It is such a fine line between if something is wrong or panic that I think that is what can set panic into motion. Either way, here we go round and round on the circle of this disorder. So, I am going to try some yoga, some breathing exercises and just try to relax and see if that helps.
As this only started less than two years ago, I find it disturbing, scary, annoying and it just flat out makes me mad sometimes that IF it is only panic, WHY is it able to control my mind? Totally a bad deal. So sharing my mood for the day for my fellow challenged in this area. Let us try to rock on and overcome this if we can.
I write these at odd times in my life. lol.
Today it is what we strive to get through, but it is yesterday that haunts our dreams.
It is not commitment we are scared of but the thought of what it will take from us.
DEMONS of the MIND
You cannot help what you don’t understand.
The fear, the darkness that threatens to overtake me.
The way my own mind scares me at times and makes me think things
that are not even true. The way i think
The way I love
The way i cry
The desire to need and feel love
To be accepted, needed, wanted.
Then pushing it away
Out of fear it will rejected.
The fear of not being in control of my life.
The torture of trying to understand
All of these are the Demons of my mind. To help me……. You have to understand them.
L.S. Rockel Copyright 2014
I went through this many years ago and I so I wrote this poem before I got out and took years to recover.
I feel as though I am trapped in a fortress
Trapped by your rage, unable to escape.
The walls that surround me are your hatred
And the thorns at the top are each time your bitter words have pierced my heart.
No flowers grow here grow here, only weeds of destruction.
Waiting to choke the last of my strength.
Inside of me, where happiness strives to live,
Your vines of anger entangle my heart,
Trying to destroy any joy or contentment.
I hope to break free of this prison,
And smile once again.
I want to wake each day without your dark shadow hanging over me.
And to laugh again without feeling the punishment of your revenge.
I know one day I will become whole again.
When I do, I will become a blossoming and beautiful rose
And you will still be a choking weed, hiding until you find more sunlight to destroy.