UNDERSTANDIND PANIC AND ANXIETY

I just wanted to explain some of what goes on when dealing with panic and anxiety. I have been told, “Well, that is not how it really is. What you are feeling about situations are not true, be it family, the world, etc.” Well, when going through it, it is real to you. It may NOT be the actual reality but your mind is telling you it is.

I DO pray and I have been HELPED so much by that, I do listen to soothing music, I do try ALL of the things I come across to help. I do at times feel lonely, I do get scared, I do rely on God and the other forms of therapy that come along and I DO want to get better.

Having this issue makes me no less of a believer in God than someone who does not have it. It simply means I am having to start over again and regroup. It does not mean I am not aware of what others are going through or that I think I am worse off.

It simply means that my mind is telling me things and I am relying on the many ways to re train my brain. God gives us a powerful tool and it can be used by Satan to make us think we are weak but I can assure people with this issue are actually very strong. They just got caught off guard and BOOM it happened.

Be kind and supportive instead of thinking (As I have been told, that I do not have enough faith. I believe I do but maybe I am just having a harder time grasping what has been a situation I never encountered before).  I always held my own, tried to be there for others, and to help when needed.

I am human, not perfect. I am loving, loyal, and I stand behind those I love. Do not judge a situation until you have been there or you may find yourself there and then and only then can you fully understand.

Does that mean I want YOU to go through it? NO! It simply means that I would hope you can be the friend or help that the person needs at that time.

Another journey day on this road. God Bless. 🙂

MY CATS HATE ME

Yes, they must. I try to pet them, they claw and bite me. I give them the best of everything, food, towers, scratch post and on and on and on and they bite and claw and scratch me.  They throw my briefcases onto the floor so the 83 lb. Shepherd can eat everything inside. They jump on my flowers in vases and, after eating them, they toss the vase with water to the floor so it can shatter into a million shreds.

They love to walk on my keyboard and delete anything I might currently be writing. They also love to wait until I am least expecting it and they bite me while purring and leave trails of blood on my back. They obviously mated with a bobcat. They love to destroy anything nice I have out while avoiding anything I could care less about.

They are sweet as sugar one minute and mauling me the next. They are alien cats I have to assume. They show no characteristics of normal cats. they have been fixed, rabies shots and feline tested. They are bought toys and well, just about spoiled to no end.

Oh well, I thought they were supposed to be aloof and yet somehow entertaining. They are entertaining if you love mass destruction. I have decided that after years of loving cats, I love my cats but maybe I should not have named them Hercules and Cujo. lol. A day in the life of my alien cats.

Some things from mine & Caroline’s kindle ebook: The Book of Understanding L.S. Rockel

LISTEN

Close your eyes, stop your thoughts

And just listen

What do you hear? Is it voices? Is it rain?

Is it oceans waves as they rush onto the sand?

Is it cars as they bustle about on their busy day?

Maybe it is babies crying or children laughing

Dogs barking or a cat with its mellow meow.

Is it the sound of war, crime or hate?

If you listen soft enough, you will hear other sounds as well.

The unbroken symphony of the one you love

The heartbeat of angels or the song of the hurt

The anger of the broken or the whisper of goodbye.

All of the things we miss

Because we never listen. L.S. Rockel

UNENCHANTED LOVE

I feel as though I am trapped in a fortress

Trapped by your rage, unable to escape.

The walls that surround me are your hatred

And the thorns at the top are each time your bitter words

Have pierced my heart.

No flowers grow here, only weeds of destruction

Waiting to choke the last of my strength.

Inside of me, where happiness strives to live

Your vines of anger entangle my heart

Trying to destroy any joy or contentment.

I hope to break free of this prison

And smile once again.

I want to wake each day without your dark shadow hanging over me

And to laugh without feeling the punishment of your revenge.

I know one day I will become whole again.

When I do, I will become a blossoming, beautiful rose

And you will be a choking weed, dying until you find more sunlight to destroy.

L.S. Rockel

RE-BIRTH OF A BROKEN HEART

As autumn approached, leaves fell from the trees

Their colors changing to oranges, reds and brilliant yellow.

Finally, they lost all of their color and they shriveled and died.

I felt some of my heart do that the day you died.

Winter came and snow fell, still and majestically white

Yet its icy touch froze everything surrounding it.

The part of my heart that died with you froze along with it.

Then the seasons flew by and over time

Another spring came and brought with it beautiful rays of brightness.

Trees filled with new blooms and leaves

Birds sang songs of joy and restoration

And flowers bloomed in colors of brilliance.

It was then I knew I had also changed.

Where once I had felt empty, I could feel the flutter of joy.

My frozen pieces of heart began to thaw

Feeling the passion, once again, of being alive.

Just as the seasons had passed and brought new life

So was my heart reborn once again

And I could begin to live once more.   L.S. Rockel