I used to think people saying things like that were just weird. It is a part of life. Well, it is but I have found that it is also true. We have to let go of toxic people or relationships that cause us stress, worry or disturb our relationship with God. We can be honest, upfront and be ourselves but those kinds of people and relationships will use it against us because of many reasons. It might be jealousy, anger with their own lives, or maybe they just don’t care about us or we just don’t have a place in their lives.
LET THEM GO. Let go of negative thoughts and replace them with something positive. Concentrate more on the good things you have, the good people, the people who care, the positive things in your life you can focus on. Spend time with prayer, meditation, music, whatever brings you joy. Your kids, grandkids, etc. Toxic people tend to be two-faced. They smile in your face and then talk about you. When you find out, you get angry and the toxin is back. Just let it go. Love from a distance.
Confide in people who want to listen because they care. Not because they cannot wait to share the juicy things you tried to confide about as soon as they hit their next house to complain, gripe and say, “Oh yeah, he/she said this or that? Can you believe it? we need to pray for them. Of course, prayer never comes into the picture but lot’s of gossip does. We all vent, and we all share our hurts, likes and desires but toxic people listen while they are storing it to use against you. REAL friendship is talking, if you believe in God actually praying about it even if you don’t do it that second.
That does not mean we cannot be human and express our feelings. Just avoid the negative people who when you are trying to do better always find a way to knock you back down after your struggle to get back up. I have been faulted for being loyal, saying that is not what Jesus did but yes, it is, he was loyal, honest, upfront and he did not back down. My mistake was letting people cause me to get angry or hurt and then getting them “back” . That comes from toxic areas. So, I think I will try and love from a distance with these kind of people, stay true to saying how I feel in my heart and being loyal even if it means I am not part of the “crowd”.
It is hard to be honest with someone. It is hard to look a person in the face and say, “You hurt me. You make me feel sad. You were cruel or mean. You avoid me and then act like you didn’t know I called or tried to reach out”. Being honest does often win you friends. It can be done in love but your chances of keeping that person on “your” team drop drastically. Be prepared.
However, as long as you are looking into your own “spiritual” mirror, and seeing your own faults and flaws, it is okay to be honest. Too many times today we hide behind an “unseen” curtain that we feel protects us because we feel by being “honest” we might upset someone. The truth is, you might actually help someone.
None of us see ourselves as we truly are. We see ourselves in a much better light that what we actually are. That does not mean we are “bad” people, only that we need to really look at a world around us that has covered itself in an “unseen” curtain. As long as we all smile and play nice, the world is good.
But, in reality, we are living a false life. What better friend is the friend who is truly open and honest and tells the ones they love how they feel. Has it ever made me mad or upset when someone came to me in true honesty and not just lashing at me because I made them mad? Sure, it hurt or made me mad but I thought it over and the times I WAS wrong, I was honest enough to go back and say, “I am sorry. you were right”. Did I want to? Not really but that is part of removing that “unseen curtain”.
In a world of fake smiles, fake friends, and fake people, we need honesty back. It is what made the human part of us, human.
We can start with the plus side of both of these unique devices now available to everyone.
- If your car breaks down, or gets a flat tire, you have access to use your cell. You can face book anyone, anytime from computer or phone.
- With face book, you can stay in touch with photos or messages or etc. through face book.
- With cell phones, you can send text anytime to communicate if you don’t have time to talk.
- With face book, you can share everything from Pinterest likes to recipes and the list goes on.
- NOW, with the minuses:
- You no longer have to actually visit with anyone ever because you can cell, or face book.
- you can ignore anyone, anytime because you have a cell or face book if you REALLY want to reach them.
- You can say anything that you would not have the nerve to say to their face.
- No more having to go to homes and see your friends or family, you can just face book or cell.
- Days of coffee, tea or just actual human visits are now obsolete.
- you can avoid church by watching you tube.
- Why spend quality time with your family when so much is going on with text, internet to see what the Kardashians are doing (like that really affects your life) or you can get on face book and just look at what everyone else is saying r not saying to you and you can get mad. Then you can phone or text to say your mad, whence they can avoid you and therefore, make you madder.
- People can treat you anyway they want because they never have to face you.
- Kids do not play outside anymore.
- WHEN you DO have get togethers, look around. 90% of the people there are not really visiting. They are using their cells to text, face book or check out the internet.
- The LOST art of human contact is dead.