A Poem for today & A random Quote

LISTEN

Close your eyes, stop your thoughts and just listen.

What do you hear? Is it voices? Is it rain? Is it ocean waves as they crash onto the sand?

Is it cars as they bustle about on their busy day? Maybe it is babies crying or children laughing.

Dogs barking, cats meowing, or is the the sounds of war, crime and hate?

If you listen soft enough and close off the world, you will hear other sounds as well.

The unbroken symphony of the one you love

The heartbeat of angels or the song of the hurt.

The anger of the broken or the whisper of goodbye.

All of the things we miss

Because we never TRULY listen.

RANDOM QUOTE: Two things that can break you and bring you to your knees;

When you realize the power of God and the death of a child.

SO it has been a weird week

Okay. So the past week has been so crazy. My husband got sick, ended up in hospital and we all know how fun that is. The dogs had family looking after them and the cats and birds and fish.

The dogs freaked with love when we got here, the cats ignored me as usual, the fish could care less and the birds screamed loud enough for three blocks away to hear. So, things are settling in now.

BUT, here we trying to stay awake until we could sleep without waking up at 3 a.m. for the day. But this is one of my boring post so I will add one of my random quote so maybe that will make it more interesting.

MY RANDOM QUOTE: The path of life is filled with many roads. The ones you choose will determine how green your grass is.

LETTING GO OF TOXIC PEOPLE, TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS & NEGATIVE ANYTHING

I used to think people saying things like that were just weird. It is a part of life. Well, it is but I have found that it is also true. We have to let go of toxic people or relationships that cause us stress, worry or disturb our relationship with God. We can be honest, upfront and be ourselves but those kinds of people and relationships will use it against us because of many reasons. It might be jealousy, anger with their own lives, or maybe they just don’t care about us or we just don’t have a place in their lives.

LET THEM GO. Let go of negative thoughts and replace them with something positive. Concentrate more on the good things you have, the good people, the people who care, the positive things in your life you can focus on. Spend time with prayer, meditation, music, whatever brings you joy. Your kids, grandkids, etc. Toxic people tend to be two-faced. They smile in your face and then talk about you. When you find out, you get angry and the toxin is back. Just let it go. Love from a distance.

Confide in people who want to listen because they care. Not because they cannot wait to share the juicy things you tried to confide about as soon as they hit their next house to complain, gripe and say, “Oh yeah, he/she said this or that? Can you believe it? we need to pray for them. Of course, prayer never comes into the picture but lot’s of gossip does. We all vent, and we all share our hurts, likes and desires but toxic people listen while they are storing it to use against you. REAL friendship is talking, if you believe in God actually praying about it even if you don’t do it that second.

That does not mean we cannot be human and express our feelings. Just avoid the negative people who when you are trying to do better always find a way to knock you back down after your struggle to get back up. I have been faulted for being loyal, saying that is not what Jesus did but yes, it is, he was loyal, honest, upfront and he did not back down. My mistake was letting people cause me to get angry or hurt and then getting them “back” . That comes from toxic areas. So, I think I will try and love from a distance with these kind of people, stay true to saying how I feel in my heart and being loyal even if it means I am not part of the “crowd”.

HONESTY AND HIDING BEHIND UNSEEN CURTAINS

It is hard to be honest with someone. It is hard to look a person in the face and say, “You hurt me. You make me feel sad. You were cruel or mean. You avoid me and then act like you didn’t know I called or tried to reach out”.  Being honest does often win you friends. It can be done in love but your chances of keeping that person on “your” team drop drastically. Be prepared.

However, as long as you are looking into your own “spiritual” mirror, and seeing your own faults and flaws, it is okay to be honest. Too many times today we hide behind an “unseen” curtain that we feel protects us because we feel by being “honest” we might upset someone. The truth is, you might actually help someone.

None of us see ourselves as we truly are. We see ourselves in a much better light that what we actually are. That does not mean we are “bad” people, only that we need to really look at a world around us that has covered itself in an “unseen” curtain. As long as we all smile and play nice, the world is good.

But, in reality, we are living a false life. What better friend is the friend who is truly open and honest and tells the ones they love how they feel. Has it ever made me mad or upset when someone came to me in true honesty and not just lashing at me because I made them mad? Sure, it hurt or made me mad but I thought it over and the times I WAS wrong, I was honest enough to go back and say, “I am sorry. you were right”. Did I want to? Not really but that is part of removing that “unseen curtain”.

In a world of fake smiles, fake friends, and fake people, we need honesty back. It is what made the human part of us, human.

UNDERSTANDIND PANIC AND ANXIETY

I just wanted to explain some of what goes on when dealing with panic and anxiety. I have been told, “Well, that is not how it really is. What you are feeling about situations are not true, be it family, the world, etc.” Well, when going through it, it is real to you. It may NOT be the actual reality but your mind is telling you it is.

I DO pray and I have been HELPED so much by that, I do listen to soothing music, I do try ALL of the things I come across to help. I do at times feel lonely, I do get scared, I do rely on God and the other forms of therapy that come along and I DO want to get better.

Having this issue makes me no less of a believer in God than someone who does not have it. It simply means I am having to start over again and regroup. It does not mean I am not aware of what others are going through or that I think I am worse off.

It simply means that my mind is telling me things and I am relying on the many ways to re train my brain. God gives us a powerful tool and it can be used by Satan to make us think we are weak but I can assure people with this issue are actually very strong. They just got caught off guard and BOOM it happened.

Be kind and supportive instead of thinking (As I have been told, that I do not have enough faith. I believe I do but maybe I am just having a harder time grasping what has been a situation I never encountered before).  I always held my own, tried to be there for others, and to help when needed.

I am human, not perfect. I am loving, loyal, and I stand behind those I love. Do not judge a situation until you have been there or you may find yourself there and then and only then can you fully understand.

Does that mean I want YOU to go through it? NO! It simply means that I would hope you can be the friend or help that the person needs at that time.

Another journey day on this road. God Bless. 🙂

MY CATS HATE ME

Yes, they must. I try to pet them, they claw and bite me. I give them the best of everything, food, towers, scratch post and on and on and on and they bite and claw and scratch me.  They throw my briefcases onto the floor so the 83 lb. Shepherd can eat everything inside. They jump on my flowers in vases and, after eating them, they toss the vase with water to the floor so it can shatter into a million shreds.

They love to walk on my keyboard and delete anything I might currently be writing. They also love to wait until I am least expecting it and they bite me while purring and leave trails of blood on my back. They obviously mated with a bobcat. They love to destroy anything nice I have out while avoiding anything I could care less about.

They are sweet as sugar one minute and mauling me the next. They are alien cats I have to assume. They show no characteristics of normal cats. they have been fixed, rabies shots and feline tested. They are bought toys and well, just about spoiled to no end.

Oh well, I thought they were supposed to be aloof and yet somehow entertaining. They are entertaining if you love mass destruction. I have decided that after years of loving cats, I love my cats but maybe I should not have named them Hercules and Cujo. lol. A day in the life of my alien cats.

A morning of calm

So, today has been good so far. Of course it is early in the day but dogs and kitties have been good. Working on book and it comes and goes and I start and restart it. Yeah, not experienced with the whole writing thing. Doing it for me. Poetry I love to write but this is way different. So anyway, it is early in the day so we shall see.

I am trying to defeat the cycle within my mind. Although yesterday was bad I DID control it to a very strong point. THAT was good. It tried to start this morning but I shoved it off. So, that was good. Do any of you have things you would like to add that help you? That make you more aware of how to not just handle but defeat this? I would love to hear them.

I even got an app for grown up coloring books and I am an artist ,so, hhahaha on that but I am doing it. I just have not picked up my art supplies in a couple of months and I have that tendency anyway, so no big deal. I go through periods where I just don’t want to do art.  Other times, I am into it for weeks.

Okay, enough about me. I hope as we all take this journey, you are finding something on here that inspires or helps you. I hope you are learning to retrain your brain as I am trying to do and I hope we ALL can overcome this stupid panic, anxiety or depression (whichever you may suffer from) so we can live our lives fully and enjoy it. Have a great day my friends.

PHASE TWO: PANIC VS POSITIVE

Okay guys, it is time to kick into gear or Phase II.  That is challenging our mind to over come the anxiety, panic and fear that our own minds have created. We have to replace our negative with positive thoughts but we also have to take positive action. I read a bit of a book and you can get the free four minute videos of David Rutherford’s navy seal training for positive outlook. It is teaching us to take action.

One thing is to wake up knowing it might be a tough day but we are tough and we can beat it. We are in battle. Ours is in the mind. So we have to face that head on. Mine started as soon as I got up. Cats crying to be fed (yes all of my animals are very well fed but the cats , the alien ones demand food on site). So I fed them all and then took care of the dogs. I accidentally hit my head on the door trying to get the cat out of the garage. How? I have no clue but it happened.

Then I hear work is a bad day from hub. So, as his swim partner, I tried to enforce positive to thoughts to me and him. Then I turned on the T.V. and  the internet is out so I had to reset everything but that is how I started my battle this a.m. So I took a positive battle and decided that those were things than usually can be fixed. I am making myself do 10 push ups or whatever your body will allow even if it is a five minute walk to combat every time I whine.

Now, since I am just telling my day here, I won’t call all of the above whining BUT I will have to do ten push ups because I mentioned a whine to the hub. I am really hoping this enables me to fight this panic. We will see. I am only on day one. I will, L.W. share as I go. Let’s get our combat gear on and start fighting. NOTE: Don’t fight the panic or anxiety or depression, just tell it you know it is there BUT you are in control. If needed, hold that ice pack, take the breaths you need that work for you but above all, fight the NEGATIVE. So good day and let’s pray we can win this war.

My alien animals II

I just saw a preview of The secret life of animals (animated) and I have decided that maybe this is just how they are, except mine do it when I am here. As in 11:45 last night, we hear a crash. I had placed two pretty vases on my kitchen sill, filled them with stones and sand then colored water and placed one on both sides.

(Cujo) he cat loves to get up there and mess with but the stones and sand I THOUHT prevented him from moving it. WRONG! He somehow crashed it to the floor.

So, I am mopping at midnight to clean it all up. Nitro, (the 7 month 82 lb. Shep) snuck through the gate, got upstairs and ate the cat food.

Hercules (the other cat) decided it would be nice to again, eat all of my flowers and throw the remainder on the floor.

Nitro then decided yesterday would be a good time to grab my journal while I was upstairs and eat it.

This morning Cujo turned on the kitchen water again and moved the handle so it sprayed on the counter.

No, actually, my animals ARE aliens after all.

My animals are actually Aliens

They could not possibly be from this planet. Today was Cat day. They are now taking turns. Yesterday was Nitro day with his 90 lb. puppy 8 month self. You can see that blog on here. Today, it was Hercules and Cujo. Beware what you name your animals.

They decided to knock my speakers off, turn on the hot water in the kitchen, toss the keyboard to the floor and then decided it would be fun to tear my flower arrangement to the floor, piece by piece.

Next they threw my internet boxes all over the floor and slung my notepad to the ground,so that, of course, Nitro could eat it. into shreds I might add.

These are not real animals obviously. Though I do not believe in Aliens, these three must have come from some strange planet I was unaware of.

They tag team, they destroy, they attack (the kitties) when you least expect it and then now they are turning the water on and running it at full blast until I can slam up here to turn it off.

Thy are all spoiled with luxuries most animals only wish for. You cannot spank a Shepherd which I would not do anyway as I believe in positive reinforcement.

Cats cannot be controlled but then, these are not cats. They are of a species that resemble cats, they purr like cats and they even let kids play with them.

I am allowed petting time when they are ready for it. Ready for it so they can allow 10 seconds before they gouge my arms.

Yes, then again, my animals are aliens, after all.