Life with Nitro

Nitro is our pup. One of three dogs. Buddy is a pap/pom mix at a topping 13 lbs, Tracer is an outside dog, a rescue who is probably about 30 lbs. Both are mild mannered and kind. Then there is Nitro. Nitro is a German Shepherd we bought and brought home at 10 weeks. It has been interesting ever since. He is now seven months old, 82 lbs.  and we love him. Let me start with that. LOL. He is a destruction magnet beyond words. He tears and eats everything. He terrorizes the cats and Buddy when he can but I usually catch him. He does not hurt them, just gives them a hard time. Tracer hates him. He does NOT play fair. Actually most all animals hate him. He is a bully and he agitates just for fun. When he was teething, my arms paid the price. The only thing we did not do correctly was check out the breeder good enough.

Now, of course I would not give him away or sell him but there are days I dream of doggy daycare. Yes, there, I admit it. He has torn the upstairs hallway carpet to shreds but no problem. I was going to replace it anyway. He has shredded my antique stool. No problem, just a few thousand dollars there. He tried to shred my couch lining but I caught him in time.  He got into the soft cat food outside twice and so, yes, I found bathroom disaster the next morning.

So, I guess most people would think, is there any good in the dog? Why, yes there is.  He is protective when he feels we are threatened and yet, he laps all over kids. He loves to be loved. He actually gets his feelings hurt if he thinks you are mad. In those times, he is a gentle giant. He is smart. He is easy to train in MOST areas. He loves to be petted. He guards over the animals even though he harasses them.

So, before you buy a Shepherd, know your facts. I studied them and about them for two years before I even considered the option. Hubby wanted one, not me. We messed up because of a bad or half breeder that my hub trusted. I should have checked her out more. BUT, all in all, I do love him. It is just a LOT of work so be prepared for it needing lots of your time, energy and attention before buying.


DAY 16 & 17: Anxiety & Panic

Saturday was good. Only had one Kodak moment. 🙂 I exercised, ate well and went to a movie. I am using my positive thoughts

and the others things I have mentioned on here before on my previous blogs. I am learning we CAN do this but it is just a long road to travel but I am seeing and making progress and so can you!

Do what feels good to you and works for you, whether it is yoga, music, an  exercise program (which I suggest daily) and I

limit my exercise at this point to two to three ten minute sessions a day.

I listen to the music with nature sounds at night and I am sometimes doing the anxiety hypnosis videos you can get free on you tube and save to favorites.

You can try whatever method works for you because we have a variety of choices.

Sunday has been good but it was different. Not really panic but just weird I guess.

Like me, remember to let go of stress that we cannot fix. The stress will NOT fix the issue, it will only make it worse. Just realize

we cannot fix what is out of our control and let it go. Imagine putting it on a boat and loading all of it up and then sailing it out to

sea. Always try breathing methods but there are some that work good for me and some that seem to make it worse. I breathe in

out through my mouth in deep breaths at times but also in small but relaxing breaths at others.

Above all, hang in there and hang on.


Yesterday went good. I was able to get through the day good, spent some time with sister and niece (awesome) .

I worked around the house (too hot outside)and I exercised for short bouts,.

I did listen to some calming music last night as I do each night (you can get them free on APPS).

I held my cool and did not panic when Nitro put a long place on my arm.

I wrote some on my ebook and it was a good day all the way around.

Music, prayer, reading, exercise, breathing, and other things I do to get my mind back where it belongs and, of course, re-training the brain.

It is all working thus far. 🙂


Today was not bad, not great. I didn’t sleep well last night so I am sure that didn’t help.

I was okay but got kind of freaked when warned of a possible tornado and I was here alone but I got through it, did some praying and some positive thinking with my door included.

Other than that, it seems to go as well as can be expected and I am learning to deal with the stress of everyday issues.

Short one today but working on book.

Have a great evening!

My alien animals II

I just saw a preview of The secret life of animals (animated) and I have decided that maybe this is just how they are, except mine do it when I am here. As in 11:45 last night, we hear a crash. I had placed two pretty vases on my kitchen sill, filled them with stones and sand then colored water and placed one on both sides.

(Cujo) he cat loves to get up there and mess with but the stones and sand I THOUHT prevented him from moving it. WRONG! He somehow crashed it to the floor.

So, I am mopping at midnight to clean it all up. Nitro, (the 7 month 82 lb. Shep) snuck through the gate, got upstairs and ate the cat food.

Hercules (the other cat) decided it would be nice to again, eat all of my flowers and throw the remainder on the floor.

Nitro then decided yesterday would be a good time to grab my journal while I was upstairs and eat it.

This morning Cujo turned on the kitchen water again and moved the handle so it sprayed on the counter.

No, actually, my animals ARE aliens after all.

DAY 13: Panic and Anxiety

So far so good this morning. It thus, far has been a good day. I have used one drop of ylang ylang and I am keeping my mind occupied even when my insane alien animals are trying to tip me over the edge. Just kidding. They ARE aliens but they are not tipping me over the edge. Yet. I am taking a break from exercise today only because I am sore and I think after months of doing nothing, it is angry at me but it will be okay. So, that is today as of 4:00 p.m.

BUTTERFLY: Copyright 2015 L.S. Rockel


A twisted spiraling world filled with dark and light colors, dreams of nightmares and nightmares of dreams.

Green, yellow, blue, purple, orange, yellow, black formations flowing through the air.

Hearts smiling, faces crying, people asking, wondering, wishing.

Life all around holding secrets, sharing stories, sweeping floors and drinking coffee.


Keeping time that cannot be kept, feeling things that are not felt.

Reality that is seen but not really the truth standing before them.


Stars in the sky as they dance, the swirl surrounds the world until it goes to sleep.

Sunrise, sunset, sunshine and bright light, mystical scents that drive that heart.

Hot, sweaty, dried up clams of nothingness that open into beautiful salty creatures.

Waves on the sand holding back things the mind cannot figure.

Love, joy, hate, forgiveness, colors, swirling, batons of the mind.  L.S. Rockel Copyright 2015