I have laughed. I have cried. I have had good days and bad days. I have forgiven and i have been unforgiving. I have been happy and I have been sad. i have judged and been judged. I have had moments of darkness and moments of light. What I have learned most of all is that many if not all of us go through these phases of our journey. It is okay to have them ad it is okay to not be okay. It is okay if I am outspoken and honest. I have been negative at times and positive other times. Not everyone likes to agree that we may have to disagree. But all in all, that is okay. Because I am me. And I realize me is just who I am meant to be.
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Today is the day I get to really take some time and go check out some of the things I may have missed. I try to do it at least twice a week and check out some daily but I get so excited when I have a few hours to do it! I find the. BEST stuff on here! Such talent, raw emotion and beauty as well as pain but all of it has its own beauty! Thank you all! Have a great day/ night!
I write because my heart gets ull and my head seems overwhelmed so I come here and I write it. All. Everything. My life. My thoughts. My fears. My joys. My losses. Y sorrows. My blessings. My pain. Because here I can be me. I can say things and not be judged. I can be me. You can you. You can read my things and I can read yours. I love it here. My private little World shared with others here.
I saw a little firefly tonight
Glowing with your ember light.
You make me smile and feel such joy
Your little light enough to bring happiness.
Thank you little amber glow.
You make me happy, did you know?
Wow. I am trying really hard to be positive but sometimes the stress and anxiety get to me. I am wondering how many others are feeling the overload. Then on top of that, the empath part of me is topped off from the chaos of other minds just bringing in tons of input. I love my Yoga, prayer, meditation and trying to keep it together but sometimes it seems no matter how much I work to be positive is when, bam! I get knocked back a bit. But still hanging in there! Have a great day/evening wherever you are! 🙂
The stress had gotten pretty bad so I had to seek intervention because I seriously thought I was losing it. I hope this might help someone else out there because it has helped me a good bit. I am not at 100 but I will take any at this point. Anyway, the Yoga, prayers, meditation and all of that kept the stress in my mind at bay but it was still bad. So, from the Inner Counseling sessions I learned and apply these daily now. 1. Think positive. Truly replace every negative with a positive. 2. STOP letting people get to me. Especially when I KNOW it is intentional. Instead of letting it eat at me, think of it like a movie. I am at war and I am determined to win becauseI want the victory. 3. Truly just let it go, whatever it is if I cannot change it. I just visualized a paper boat filled with all my troubles, loaded down and I placed it in a stream of clear water and watched it flow away. It takes a lot to train your brain but it can be done! 🙂
I have a lot of teens in our huge family and they are all over the place and doing “their” thing and well, being teens. But the most wonderful thing happened the other day. After the last couple of years off having to hunt for them in their houses like children hunt for Easter eggs, i would find them but they would have their phone on or smile and just tap at their social media (code for be with you in a sec. broken down to mean never). So, I had really gotten to the point of just not bothering them other than to wave hi when I would see one of these elusive creatures. BUT! Here it comes! I went to a sisters the other day and one actually emerged! Like a real life version. Actually looked in my eyes and smiled.
Then she spoke. Words. Sentences. Actually conversed with me as did her brother. I took pictures. I smiled back. It was such a beautiful 3.2 minutes. There IS hope after all!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, I am on a roll today but I am angry at all of the crap going on just to please people. Like the saying goes, you cannot please all of the people all of the time. Well, no you can’t. My peeve is this. Now we have to be careful not to offend anyone over anything. I say if you don’t like it walk away from it. If you want to be straight, gay, transgender, bi sexual, whatever, that is your choice as an adult. But I do not believe it has to be changed so a woman cannot be called a woman, or a man, just that. A man. That we have to change labels from he or she or whatever new labels are being made. If people want new titles, fine. But do not deny those who choose the tiles we have known all our lives. Our Nation needs to stop now and if we want changes, fine. But also respect those who are happy being “identified” as a man or a woman. I would say I am sorry but I am not. It s why I have not been writing because I didn’t want to offend anyone but I am OFFENDED. The difference is, I am stating how I feel not trying to take anyone else’s beliefs or right from them.
I usually stay off the subjects I am on today but sorry I am just so flustered with our Country right now. WE are Americans. In a Country filled with freedoms and things other Countries envy and want. BUT, we got here by fighting for it. TOGETHER. No matter our race, creed, beliefs, differences, we need to stand as one or we may lose our beloved Country, as it stands, one nation, under God. (Whether you believe in him or not that is what it says) I love my fellow Country men and women. I love my Country. I HOPE we can and will ALL come together as one.
I see your picture every morning. I think about you everyday. You made me smile and I know you still watch over me. But I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss our chaotic, happy, silly life we shared. You brought us so much laughter and joy. I wish you were here to see the beauty that came after. your sister growing up to get married and have her beautiful babies. If you could be here to see how I paint and how it changed. How so many things we could be doing together or the talks we would be having. But even though you left me a long time ago, I love the time I was blessed with you. For that, I get to love those memories so when I do wish you could be here, I can still go back to the time when you were here and even when I cry, I also smile. Because if you had never been here, I would not have learned so many things that carry me through now. I love you always. Love, mom