If life is not chaotic enough… Live with a teen….

First of all beware. They KNOW everything. And I mean everything. They do not need help or advice because they already know. Unless of course they are having a meltdown (there is a lot of drama, no movies needed here on that). The meltdown can consist of anything from There is ABSOLUTELY NO food in this house although the pantry, fridge, freezer and cabinets are full, there is no “organic yogurt”. Or it might be that she cannot find her most favorite shirt in the world so after she searches for an hour you find it in her closet. So she swears it wasn’t there FIVE minutes ago. Hmmmm. Or her boyfriend calls and he sounded “off” so she is 100% sure he is going to break up. He isn’t. he was studying for his test so he couldn’t text back for five minutes. Maybe he actually had to take the five minutes to read the 4, 350 text or snapchat things she sent as to why he seems “off”. Then a ray of hope. You hear her laughing in her room on her phone so you step in to see her smile and she looks up and scowls at the intrusion of her privacy. It goes on and on until finally mommy snaps. Takes the phone amid tears and begging, unplugs the wify and then goes outside where she is warned in “mom” voice to back off. Finally, after an hour or so, she apologizes and life is good again. For a few days at least. lol.

When you meet your daughter’s FIRST boyfriend and she is bringing him home….

well the time comes when the kids get their first “real” girlfriend or boyfriend and they bring them home to meet the “rents”. This was my experience. Hope yours went or goes better. hahahahahahaha.
STEP ONE: Telling the parents:
“Hey. I am bringing (Adam), name changed to protect privacy) home to meet you and dad but I wanted to go over some stuff first.
STEP TWO: Rules of engagement:
“Now. Please do NOT say anything about vegans. His mom is one. Please do not talk any politics. His dad does not like your choice”.
“Um, do not mention any of your funny things about me as a kid. I will just die of embarrassment”.
“Could we not have my brother come out of his room (although he lives here too) He may say something that Adam finds offensive and I really, really like him”.
“Also, he is very sensitive about his retainer so do not mention anything about teeth please. AT all. And Adam is like really into music you do not like so let’s not discuss anything concerning music, or where he lives or what his parents do or what you and dad too for a living and generally just like, um, let us talk and you just kind of smile and listen. Unless of course he ask you something. Oh, and do not compliment his smile. he gets upset”.
I look at her oddly.
Daughter: “Well I don’t actually know if he gets upset but I am sure he might”.
Me: “So, basically just sit there like a life form and look at your boyfriend. Am I allowed to go pee? or is that out too”?
Daughter: Huffs. “Mom, I think you are going a bit overboard.
Me: I roll my eyes.
Daughter: “Please do NOT roll your eyes when he is here. he may take that as a sign of aggression”.
Me: “Is he human or a bear”?
Needless to say, the species male Adam came. he was funny, he joked around and he never went into shock at the sight of his girlfriends parents. He did ask questions. It was a great night and her brother came out and said hi before going back to his game in his room. I thought it went great. Adam loved his visit. My daughter cried for two days. lol. Adam comes on a regular basis now. Joys of parenting.