I am learning each day to accept me for who I am . Not the mold I am supposed to be but the real, actual me. Sometimes I have anxiety. Sometimes I have anger. Sometimes I laugh and sometimes I cry. I post memes because they make me laugh. I write. I create art. My kind of art. Not what is popular or in the “love” type of the year. I am outspoken but loyal and goodhearted. A bit too sensitive at times and easily get my feelings hurt but then I can be tough. I am strange to some people, I do not easily make friends for reasons I do not understand but I accept it. Because, I am. Me.
I wish you could understand my world. But you cannot unless you live it. It is not a place you choose to be and they say many things can cause it but I can say that your love and trying to at least understand would mean more than all of the money in the world.
But you choose to see me as a weird person who is crazy or needs mental help because I go through this. Do not be so quick to judge. My panic only started three years ago. You could not understand it so you walked away from it. You chose to run from it like it might be contagious. It isn’t.
So, I have learned to deal with it on my own and some prayer. I have learned to accept that people will talk about me or judge me but I am the same as you. I just have an issue. Live my life and then maybe you can say i have no reason for panic. But I can promise if you ever have panic or anxiety, you will never think again like you do now.
But, I have a couple of people who are trying now to help and understand it. They are there even if they do not know what to do. They have held my hand and sat while I cried. But I am coming through the storm each day and learning that I am STILL the strong person I used to be just a little different in how I view people and life.
I walked alone for a while but there were foot prints in the sand I didn’t see.
Teardrops of rain caused by the deception of those you love.
A flood of pain happens when you trust and then get crushed by the ones you thought cared.
Deception and a rain of tears caused by pain of being hurt.
Telling myself to let go of the catastrophic thoughts that try to entangle my brain while also trying to release the chaos that is trying to surround it and just make it think clear. My beautiful yet complicated mind. Me
Random quote: I am proud of who I am and what I have become. The sweat and tears it took to get there and the love I found along the way.
We search all of our lives for the impossible dream.
Only to find it was there all along.
It wasn’t money, it wasn’t fame, it wasn’t popularity.
It is a smile from someone who cares,
the soft blow of a breeze or the love of a child,
the sound of ocean waves as they roll onto the white clean sand,
The song of a bird,
or just the joy of being loved.
I write these blogs to encourage, to help people who suffer from issues I do, to bring hope to some who feel alone and to share stories and talk to fellow bloggers. I write a variety of things from quotes, thoughts on life, issues with panic and anxiety, stories, poems and more. I also share my photography and artwork that i do as part of my headline.
I hope it does help some and encourage. I hope others enjoy the poems, stories and thoughts. I also hope the art and photography brings a smile to some people. So, that is why I blog and I try to read as much as i can from my fellow bloggers, like and share some of the the things I like and although i may not always reply, I am reading. 🙂 Have a great day!
I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I feel and I cry.
I know you feel the same things too,
So we are not really that different- me and you.