The ability to read people can be hard. In the last few months, someone who has tried to destroy my reputation, my life and my ability to even write or do art because they are like a non stop plague has really affected me. Now, even with the ones they are “allowing” to speak to me because they think they succeeded in destroying me have fake faces and black hearts. They can smile all day and fill it with I love you’s. I believed it before because I loved so deeply but now I can see it for what it is. Fake. However, I did a lot of prayer, breathing and meditation this morning and I am not going to let them win. I am going to soldier on as they say and write, work on art, do my photography even if it means standing it alone. Better that than to be caught up again in a pit of snakes. It is hard because I am a kind person but so many times it is those with good hearts who get trampled on. All I can say is if you find yourself in my position, get the steel plated armor on and fight back by being as strong as you can. Let go of the toxin and let love for yourself take over. I hate when I rant like this but I hope to maybe help someone else who is facing what I have and encourage them. SOLDIER ON. Do NOT give up. 🙂
I see your picture every morning. I think about you everyday. You made me smile and I know you still watch over me. But I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss our chaotic, happy, silly life we shared. You brought us so much laughter and joy. I wish you were here to see the beauty that came after. your sister growing up to get married and have her beautiful babies. If you could be here to see how I paint and how it changed. How so many things we could be doing together or the talks we would be having. But even though you left me a long time ago, I love the time I was blessed with you. For that, I get to love those memories so when I do wish you could be here, I can still go back to the time when you were here and even when I cry, I also smile. Because if you had never been here, I would not have learned so many things that carry me through now. I love you always. Love, mom
No matter what your belief, color, political thoughts, profession, etc. I just want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas from me. I hope love is filled in all of our homes and we can grab some positive from somewhere on this Holiday. We are all on the same Island called life and so we can all be united in that if nothing else. I hope for those of us who are mourning that something will bring a smile from someone we miss or something that is bringing us down. so, here is a virtual hug and a smile filled with love from me to you.
I needed to get back to a clearer thinking and mindset so along with my daily Prayer and Meditation time, I started Yoga again and I also did Tai Chi today which I have missed doing very much! I love the relaxation of Tai Chi in helping me to relax my everything. It relaxes me in a different way. I use Yoga more for exercise and yes, some relaxing. I use Tai Chi for a different form and level of relaxing as well as yes, exercise. Confused yet? I hope not. They all just seem to counter balance each other.
I am blessed in many ways. I have to focus on the positive not the negative. I can enjoy some time in the Sun. Do not allow myself to overthink every. single. thing. Refocus on something that I am blessed with. Do NOT allow other people who knows what triggers my anxiety and uses it to make me anxious. Realize it is not my fault if they are angry or spiteful. Just know that, own the reality of it and go on. Realize that I am probably fine health wise. If not, I am doing my best to get checked but there are some areas where I cannot go and get things that are on hold done. So I am not being careless, I just cannot have it done. Contact people who need comfort or someone to say that I care. Let go of the constant depressing news popping up everywhere and avoid it. There is NOTHING I can do for all of it but stay strong about my beliefs on some of it. Just enjoy the fact that it could always be worse and if it gets worse, do what I can because that is all I can do. That is just a few of the things but I they helping even if just enough to get me through the day! Have a good day/night fellow bloggers!
Some days I just find myself in a whirlwind of emotions. I am fighting the every ready Anxiety that tried to bring me down. I feel that fear that comes with asking myself if I am okay or is it just anxiety? I grip onto my mind and tell it to stop. Just stop. Then I pray. I do my Yoga. I put Lavender oil I make behind my ears and on my wrist. Then I start to get calmer and finally I can breathe okay instead of running to my room to get away from everything. I know why I have the anxiety and fear and I know I can beat it but for now I am happy each time I just manage to win the war and not let the fear and anxiety overtake me.
I have been waiting for the Covid results that came back negative and that was great! But in the days waiting, I pushed my Yoga, meditation, and Prayer as much as I could! I thought I would fall out but I had to do it to stay sane. I did it over and over and over everyday but I am glad. It helped even if my Anxiety kept screaming “You are going to have it!” my mind was at least calmed from a Nervous break down by doing all of these things. I am so glad now that I did because it kept me on at least a base level of sanity. lol
I have challenged myself during this time to try and make my mind build strength again as I battled the Anxiety and more. I fight and fought it. And to my delight, it is a slow walk but I am becoming stronger. mentally and Physically and more. Yes, I am still battling Anxiety but I know it could have been much worse. Each day I find myself just a spoon full stronger but every little spoonful adds up. I walk now more, I am eating better, I am challenging my mind. I do Yoga, Yardwork, Devotional time, prayer, meditation and ANYTHING to keep my mind busy and I even play Brain games. NO, I do not do all of it everyday but I do some of it everyday. I accepted the challenge Thank god, so far, I am winning. Thanks to all of you who support me and keep me hanging in there and encourage me. You are a huge part of this battle! have a great day/night fellow bloggers/writers. Team US!
I combat anxiety with Yoga, a variety of essential oils and a lot of prayer. Yes, I can combine all three and it is fine. lol. Yoga helps me to relax and tone. Essential oils help with a variety of things and Prayer because I believe. I love the balance and although I still have Anxiety, I know it is my own mind that deceives and tricks me into thinking the thoughts I have. I guess if I had experienced it since Childhood maybe I could do better but it only started about 5 years ago? From full blown Panic attacks to Anxiety with occasional panic attacks. So, I just do my thing and try to work through it. I love life but I hate Anxiety and Panic but it is a part of what I battle now so I use my Armor. Hugs and have a great day/night fellow bloggers/writers! I added one of my very own photos to share for a bit of happiness it brings to me and hopefully to you!
Sometimes I am laughing and I am will be in the middle of staying busy and the tears will come. I do not even know until they fall down my cheeks. I am trying to be positive but the pain just hits and it feels like a physical blow. I wish I could learn to control this anxiety better than I do. I feel so strong the ways an Empath will, that the few I am around when they are at every peak of emotion. I can feel it through calls and sometimes even text. Who even feels emotions through text? And sadly, I am usually am right. Does that me feel empowered? No, it weakens me. So, I just had to say that I AM trying but I am struggling too but yes I know I am blessed and I am thankful for that.