And sometimes….. I just do my yoga and sigh…

It is a beautiful day out, a bit nippy and yeah I know I am supposed to be all sunshine and rainbows but I just have days. Yes, those days when your are doing you r yoga, your anxiety is off the roof, you are crying and your nose looks like a running faucet so you clean and do your yoga and Tai Chi and pray and cry and well, I guess I look like a real mess. But it is okay for me to have those days and maybe you do as well. Either way, I am still trying and I am still doing. And I finished and finally calmed down and was proud of my workout. And then. I ate a cookie. Yea, I did. Have a wonderful day to my fellow bloggers and friends!

The Demons Within……

They take your heart, your life and suck your very soul.
They turn your heart into a one way street where you search for only them.
They take away your family, friends and sometimes…
your life.
They steal your joy, your mind and your happiness
replacing it with fog and hurt and pain.
They haunt you, they hurt you, they deceive you and
you don’t even know it.
They are your worst enemy
but you love them more than anything else.
Drugs.
The Demons Within.

Life, Love and Happiness……..

Life is beautiful but scary and sad but good.
Love is blind, hard, beautiful and needed.
Happiness is what we make it or how we break it.
I am an emotional roller coaster on this journey and it is crazy.
This world is just an exotic place with so many exotic, unique people
And we are all filled with so many different thoughts, feelings
emotions and words.
Some of us never seem to have a bad day while some of us strive to get
Anxiety, pain, hurt or depression.
Others are always laughing and happy and it seems never bothered by
Anything.
But I think deep down we all experience many of these emotions, we
just live them in a different way.

Why is it still so damn hard? …..

It has been 12 years today since you left us. I thought this year was going to be easier that before years because I had not been crying as much but I woke in tears this morning. Just that quick. But it is what it is. I guess my philosophy on it is that it is the life of a parent who has lost a child or children and I have lost two. But it is just weird how some years I got through with laughter, most with tears but still I would thing ok all the blessings I DO have and that she never suffered and that she is probably happier now. But like one guy said the other day, “When people say God needed another angel, that is great until yours is taken.” Just a tough day I guess. Love to all of us who have lost our children.