It’s okay to cry sometimes.

We build walls around our lives and our hearts but sometimes it is okay to cry. Sometimes our hearts need the release of just letting it all out and letting it go. We live in a beautiful but harsh world where it seems to make you appear weak if you cry but you are not. You are strong and crying is an emotion of strength.

We have to face so many battles and obstacles that it can be a heavy load to bear and to constantly smile through it all, well kudos to those who can. I am just too human and open for all of that. I am strong willed, determined, but man, sometimes i just have to let it all out and have a good cry.

I feel such a release after. I pray, I live right the best I can, I try to do right by others, I pick my battles but life can be tough. So I just hope there are others like me who know that at times, a good old fashioned cry down is the cure for healing.

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It is beautiful and yet ugly. Life

Life can be so beautiful and yet so ugly.

Love, happiness, babies. marriage, friendship, family,adoption, playing, running, adventures, prayers, reading, painting, writing, flowers, trees, the four seasons, the pureness of snow, the laughter of a child.

Bills, stress, death of a child, burdens, anxiety, hatred, racism, divorce, affairs, riots, abuse of children and women, burning our flag, killing, using people, destroying.

Something so beautiful and yet so ugly

Why I love Dogs and Children

I love them both because their love is unconditional, they are resilient, they love back, they are there no matter how many times you think you are devoting time with them when really you are just trying to keep them occupied so you can get something done. And the sad thing is, some are abused and yet they still love you. Those my heart cries for.

They are funny, happy to see you, willing to forgive, loyal and they are sweet souls. I know in our generation and the teens in this day, though not all by any means but quite a few are now selfish,spoiled all about themselves and not very nice with almost no respect.

BUT there are still plenty like the above I mentioned. Dogs and the children who are still not spoiled brats ,  on the other hand, never change toward their masters or parents, unless they get rabies but still you get my point. No matter what you do to them, no matter how little time you have for them they always are there for you.

That is why I love dogs and children. Actually, I love all of the animal, mammal, bird etc. kingdom but dogs are in a different zone.

RACISM & REVOLUTION

We are in a Revolution America and racism and dividing us according to our races is pulling us apart. We need to unit as Americans. Why hate me because I am black, white, asian, latino, or any other race? We NEED to unite!

When it all comes down to the bottom line, we can work as a unit to help this Country and we can overcome anything thrown at us. But if we allow the media to continue to turn us against each other then we are in trouble.

We are all one nation, under God. We are allowing the media and our own personal feelings to cause us to turn on each other. The excuses of bad officers as an excuse for turning on each other is no excuse. There are good and bad people no matter what their profession or race. So let’s stop doing this and come together as a Country. United we WILL stand but DIVIDED we will fall.

The life of a Grandparent

The life of a grandparent can be funny, happy, difficult and it falls into so many categories that is hard to name them all. But one rings out. Joy. Your baby has a baby now. Then maybe another and another and another and whether you have one child or ten, most will have those beautiful little aliens we cal grandchildren.

So different, so unique, so beautiful and yet so different from having a child. Your child. NOW, you are on the sidelines, watching your child raise theirs and hoping you taught them all the right things but this or these little ones you love so much. But your role of raising is over so now you watch.

The joy of a grand parent is we for the most part, get to spoil and love this group. It is no longer our job to sweat it out on how to be sure they grow up right because we don’t have that option. So we love, cuddle and try to be a positive happy force in their life.

You also have different kinds of grandparents. Some cannot get enough (me) and some want to love and enjoy but now it is their time to do what they want to do so they do it. Vacations, lunches, and etc. etc. That is cool too. They have that right. The not so great grandparents who act like their kid never had a kid, so it is not their job to help or really do anything but see the grandchild occasionally.

Some of us cringe when they get disciplined. Yes, we had to do it but we feel powerless seeing this tiny creature have to be disciplined for their actions. We see our mistakes with our kids in some of the parenting our kids do to theirs. Then we feel the guilt or pride, depending on how well they do with our little “peeps”. Regardless it is a whole new world no matter how you approach it and it is a whole new part of our lives. As for me, I love it. I love my little “peeps” and I love watching them grow. I hope all grandparents feel the same.

WHEN OUR CHILDREN GROW UP

A friend once had this habit of saying, “They grow up to fast”. talking about our children. At the time, of course I understood what he meant but I thought, “Well, mine are 11 and 5 so I am good”. But the years flew by and sure enough, before I knew it they were growing up. Way too fast. One was 21 and the other 14. The, at 23. I lost my oldest in a car wreck and that left me one.

I was in shock at the time and I still feel her in my heart every day but I was still had the other who needed me so I had to be there for her. Then before I knew it, she was having her own baby and I had always heard you never know what it feels like to be a grandparent until you get there and then , you are in love all over again.

I felt so blessed and thanked God for this beautiful little baby but I learned also, that no matter how much you love them, your baby now has a baby and you want to be like a mother “or” father hen and tell them all about how to do it.

Sadly, the marriage fell apart but I found myself again blessed when she remarried and I was gifted with two more beautiful grandchildren. But I also, once again realized that my child was grown and no matter what, she was living her own life and there was not more running to mommy for band aids or hurts.

I got that with my youngest grand baby but that was also when schedules allowed that I saw her and the my other two babies. Life is hectic and I want to hold my daughter again sometimes just like when she was little. But children grow up and we have to let them fly.

It hurts, it can be sad, and it can be good. Many times it can be frustrating if we don’t see them doing what we had hoped for. She has done great. She is a nurse, she is happy and she seems to be progressing quite well. However, my heart still longs at time for that mother child bond you get the most when they are little.

Moral of the story is;  He was right. My friend. “They grow up too fast, we have to let go and it is not an easy thing to do”. But, if I learned one thing, it is not to worry about all the tiny things they do we don’t like, don’t worry about whether they match up to other kids and just know you loved and did the best you could by them. As it say’s in the Bible, “Raise your child in the way they should go and they will return to that at some point”. Not exactly as it written but you get the point.

Anger vs. Love and Forgiveness

Ever get really angry at someone and just feel hatred toward someone who did you wrong? Maybe they talked bad about you, lied about you, cursed you or stole away your love. Maybe they betrayed you in one of a possible hundred ways.

Anger and hate are such pleasant retaliations against someone who has wronged you .The worst are the passive/ aggressive ones who are nice to you but in that way that you know they are truly pissed inside and only YOU & THEM know what they are doing. You could never prove it because they are just too smooth at what they do.

It is such sweet revenge to “get” back at your enemies or betrayers. Knowing how much you freak them out when you post it all over social media. Snapchat, your blog, instagram, face book, or etc. In this day and time the possibilities are endless. Then when you know you “got” em and it hit the mark.

Pretty soon, you are not speaking, and anytime either of you get you are telling others and on the phone and going back and forth on that “social media” for the world to see. How pathetic they are those scumbags. Seldom is revenge NOT sweet. It is the long term effects you don’t know are are coming.

Before you know it, another person, and another , and another has done you wrong. I mean, can you believe it? What is WRONG with these people? After a while it becomes a daily ritual to see who you can get back at or who you can exact your revenge upon.

Now comes the hard part. Love and Forgiveness. Love and forgiving are not that easy sometimes. Love is letting your heart open up to accept people for whom and what they are. Flawed. We all are. Love is knowing sometimes, you will NEVER get a return or investment back no matter how hard you try.

Love means that nio matter what, you refuse to hate that person regardless of what they do. However, love does not mean you have to be stepped on,  or abused. It simply means we can love them but walk away or take a step back and let go.

Forgiveness is the hardest sometimes especially if you know in your heart you are the one who did someone wrong or they were the one who broke your heart. Then it is a battle to find a way to reach deep inside your soul, let go of what happened and forgive. It is especially hard when you know that same person will say they forgive and they are going to go behind your back and do it again.

BUT, that is the true ART of forgiveness. You forgive when you truly let go, forgive and realize YOU will will NEVER change that person. You only have to change YOU. Letting go of the poison they have put into your life enables you to go on and do better things so you can enjoy the beauty of this world God gave us to enjoy. That is when you trally begin to live.