It isn’t like I don’t try. yoga, exercise, meds, walking, thinking positive thoughts, prayer, meditation, and the list goes on. Yes, I have many more good days than bad but it STILL hits, especially at night. I just wondered if anyone else has this problem besides me?????????????????????
what a rollercoaster ride anxiety is.
It depletes you
makes you fear
you get better
then you fall again.
I work out
and then I worry
I eat better
then I crash.
Then several weeks can go by
And I am great
Then BAM! it hits
out of nowhere.
I AM doing better but I
want it to go away
So I can fully live again.
OUCH! I was just writing a short bit ago how I am staying busy to keep anxiety down and I have been doing good and them BAM! I stepped outside and my heart just felt like it was racing! I was really taken off guard because I have been doing so well.
But this is life with panic and anxiety. It can come from nowhere and when you don’t even expect it at all. It has calmed a little since I have been steadily writing but it has not completely quit racing. I guess I just have to accept it as a reality and face it head on but man can it be hard to do. But I am trying and I am doing all I can to adjust and try to keep it out of my mind. It is times like these when it comes out of no where that bother me the most.
Still having fun drawing and painting and writing and yes, making fairies & mermaids. I am trying to stay focused as I try and stem the flow of anxiety issues. I have also YES started back with yoga and Tai-Chi. So, I am trying to be productive as I go along. I just want to share with fellow bloggers who share their journey with me!
I got through. I made it. I did it. Such a chaotic week BUT I was blessed and got through it and even had a bit of fun in there with a cute little sprite and family. So, now I am coming off the adrenaline needed (pure not a drug adrenaline) from the fight or flight and a moment of light headedness like I used to get BUT I just hope that is all there is and that it is okay. 🙂
But the good thing is that a few months ago even, I would have been having daily panic or anxiety melt downs. So, hoping this means the road is getting better on my journey. I sure would love that!
I sometimes am on pins and needles with anxiety as a part of life. Because I just never know. But, that being said, I was able to work on my book, photo graphics, art and go a few places. I am still living with it but I am also still working on every method I find to get to the bottom of things that can stop it. So far, I have looked at some but they are older and do not work.
But I am glad it was a productive week. I am doing 100 % percent better than my first year from what I have learned but it is still a battle sometimes. I try to stay busy and keep my mind off of it but you know how that goes IF you have it. I have also found triggers to avoid. Stress, arguments, chaos and things that can trigger like getting too depressed about my daughter and son who passed and looking for the joy she brought and he did for the two days he was here. THANK YOU ALL for being here! I love my word press family!
Some days are great now and some days I am just a wreck. I have never had something so hard to deal with or understand. I cannot seem to fix this no matter what I do. Yes, it is better than it was but I do prayer, yoga, meditation, stay busy and think positive. I try not to over think anymore, a challenge in itself.
I try to do ALL of the things I have read about and I ty to just “let” things go but I swear, there are still days I am like freaked out. Today both of my arms hurt. why? who freaking knows? I have cut back on a lot of things. I hate it. I hate the feeling it gives me at times. I have even become more social. Oh well, I guess for whatever reason, it is still a fight no matter what I do. But I just keep trying to get better with it. I think maybe I need therapy for my daughter and losing her but after 12 years, I thought I was coping okay with it but I don’t think I am. ANXIETY and PANIC sucks. lol