2020 has been tough…. But I have learned some things from it…

I have learned…

To love more openly. To give more freely. To not let my Empath wires go crazy. That anxiety can be handled sometimes even when it is extreme. That is not easy but it can happen. To find some of my past interest and work on them. To appreciate. To hope. To try and reach out where I used to cling to aloneness. To laugh more, to fight harder. That I love my Country. To work harder on Yoga and prayer and meditation. To live.

okay. let’s try this…

Thank you my friend for trying to help me. I am using some of the tools you showed me Raistlin0903. I am trying this now because I am getting so agitated with this. So here goes. Hi everyone. I am just playing around on this to see how these things will work. I am getting some of it! Thank you my sweet friend!

Life and Me……………

An introvert, mom, writer, empath, yoga freak, prayer lover, artist, writer, animal activist.

Poet, photographer, a lover of nature, traveling by car to see everything I can, anxiety fighter.

A person who loves too deep, thinks too much, writes because I love it, feels others pains and emotions, struggles with Yoga but I have a love/hate relationship.

A person who believes Life can be good because we have it.

 

I am so mentally drained…

I am just at a drained state of mind. Mentally, I am just at a point where I just cannot even think at times clearly. I have no clue how it came about or what is causing it but it has drained me from writing, art and other things. maybe just the last year has been building up or maybe my mind just needs some serious not over thinking time. Either way, i hope to be more clear headed soon so I can get back to it.

I am…. who I am…..

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately and I realized I have spent the last few years often criticized or ‘helped’ by telling me all the things I do or say wrong. It never mattered that I was ready to help anyone who called my ‘honesty’ was too much, my way of saying things was too ‘blunt’ and the list has gone on and on. Today, I realized that no, I just am who I am. Outspoken, loyal, standing up for what I believe in, blunt and at times I am sure, just like everyone prone to have bad moments and days I am just not great to been around. But for once I realize my good outweighs the bad. I may be all the things that were said but my heart is kind and loving. So, take it or leave, I think I like me just the way, I am and who I was designed to be.

yes! Please give that instant cure for Anxiety…. I do not choose to have it….

So many times friends or family will try and give advice on anxiety that they do not have and it always turns sour. They mean well I KNOW that. But Anxiety is not something I chose to have. NO ONE would. Your battle is almost constantly a war with your mind. You are given a reprieve occasionally with medication where you do have fear of another attack. I do try it all. Yoga, meditation, prayer, studies, you tube, you name it. But as of now, I have NOT conquered it. I am trying. I wish there were a cure all. I wish you didn’t have to try and understand me. I don’t even understand me. I do not wish this on myself or anyone else. I also just wish so many people did not think that you can just wish it away. I wish I could. My Anxiety thought for the day. Have a great day/night fellow bloggers!

Fear grips my heart…Anxiety sets in even more…. I do Yoga and my Prayer and then I get a bit calmer because…………………

Some days I just find myself in a whirlwind of emotions. I am fighting the every ready Anxiety that tried to bring me down. I feel that fear that comes with asking myself if I am okay or is it just anxiety? I grip onto my mind and tell it to stop. Just stop. Then I pray. I do my Yoga. I put Lavender oil I make behind my ears and on my wrist. Then I start to get calmer and finally I can breathe okay instead of running to my room to get away from everything. I know why I have the anxiety and fear and I know I can beat it but for now I am happy each time I just manage to win the war and not let the fear and anxiety overtake me.

Why so I have trouble sleeping every full moon?…………………..

I have no idea why but EVERY full moon and the night before I just cannot get to sleep. I do not even know if this is normal but I know it is agitating! I just wonder if anyone else has this issue? Not a long post but I am just curious because it is so weird!

My Empath/ Discernment level has been quiet… Of course I am not really around people……

Well I am not sure if it is all of the praying, yoga, tai-chi, meditation or lack of people. Maybe all of the above but my empath ability is on low gear. I think probably not being around people because the others are for my Anxiety and Panic. But, either way, I am like on a no feel zone with others in ways to gauge what they are feeling. However, it sure has helped me in the anxiety department. Oh well, just thought I would share that!

One of those 4 hour sleep nights…When the brain is in overdrive….

I just could NOT sleep. My brain was in over drive and I could not stop focusing on everything going on and then why we cannot all unite. Then my mind was on what I needed to clean. That was an hour or so. Then I was thinking about who was mad, why they were mad and how to resolve any conflicts so we could all function as a Tribe. (people I know). lol. Then I was worried about whether someone might think about the flowers I planted. They look a bit chaotic. And of course, then I would re-think some more on the dumbest stuff. Needless to say, I scored four hours. Only because I passed out. lol. Have a great day/night fellow bloggers.