I started my journey a couple of months ago by letting go of really toxic people whom, every time I was around them they were mentally abusive or just spewed anger and hate or they would just constantly berate me and then say they were kidding. Being an Empath was hard because I absorbed it. It landed me in the Hospital and I decided it was time to let go no matter who they were or how much I loved them. I had no choice. It has proven to be the hardest but best thing I could do. My stress and anxiety decreased. I could recharge myself and I have been happier. I recently had an encounter with one of them and it was eye opening! I felt immediately stressed, they started to try and use their ways of pain again but I bailed out and after a few shaky hours found peace again. Lesson learned. Sometimes you DO have to LET THEM GO. Hugs!
The ability to read people can be hard. In the last few months, someone who has tried to destroy my reputation, my life and my ability to even write or do art because they are like a non stop plague has really affected me. Now, even with the ones they are “allowing” to speak to me because they think they succeeded in destroying me have fake faces and black hearts. They can smile all day and fill it with I love you’s. I believed it before because I loved so deeply but now I can see it for what it is. Fake. However, I did a lot of prayer, breathing and meditation this morning and I am not going to let them win. I am going to soldier on as they say and write, work on art, do my photography even if it means standing it alone. Better that than to be caught up again in a pit of snakes. It is hard because I am a kind person but so many times it is those with good hearts who get trampled on. All I can say is if you find yourself in my position, get the steel plated armor on and fight back by being as strong as you can. Let go of the toxin and let love for yourself take over. I hate when I rant like this but I hope to maybe help someone else who is facing what I have and encourage them. SOLDIER ON. Do NOT give up. 🙂
I have learned…
To love more openly. To give more freely. To not let my Empath wires go crazy. That anxiety can be handled sometimes even when it is extreme. That is not easy but it can happen. To find some of my past interest and work on them. To appreciate. To hope. To try and reach out where I used to cling to aloneness. To laugh more, to fight harder. That I love my Country. To work harder on Yoga and prayer and meditation. To live.
Thank you my friend for trying to help me. I am using some of the tools you showed me Raistlin0903. I am trying this now because I am getting so agitated with this. So here goes. Hi everyone. I am just playing around on this to see how these things will work. I am getting some of it! Thank you my sweet friend!
An introvert, mom, writer, empath, yoga freak, prayer lover, artist, writer, animal activist.
Poet, photographer, a lover of nature, traveling by car to see everything I can, anxiety fighter.
A person who loves too deep, thinks too much, writes because I love it, feels others pains and emotions, struggles with Yoga but I have a love/hate relationship.
A person who believes Life can be good because we have it.
I am just at a drained state of mind. Mentally, I am just at a point where I just cannot even think at times clearly. I have no clue how it came about or what is causing it but it has drained me from writing, art and other things. maybe just the last year has been building up or maybe my mind just needs some serious not over thinking time. Either way, i hope to be more clear headed soon so I can get back to it.
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately and I realized I have spent the last few years often criticized or ‘helped’ by telling me all the things I do or say wrong. It never mattered that I was ready to help anyone who called my ‘honesty’ was too much, my way of saying things was too ‘blunt’ and the list has gone on and on. Today, I realized that no, I just am who I am. Outspoken, loyal, standing up for what I believe in, blunt and at times I am sure, just like everyone prone to have bad moments and days I am just not great to been around. But for once I realize my good outweighs the bad. I may be all the things that were said but my heart is kind and loving. So, take it or leave, I think I like me just the way, I am and who I was designed to be.
So many times friends or family will try and give advice on anxiety that they do not have and it always turns sour. They mean well I KNOW that. But Anxiety is not something I chose to have. NO ONE would. Your battle is almost constantly a war with your mind. You are given a reprieve occasionally with medication where you do have fear of another attack. I do try it all. Yoga, meditation, prayer, studies, you tube, you name it. But as of now, I have NOT conquered it. I am trying. I wish there were a cure all. I wish you didn’t have to try and understand me. I don’t even understand me. I do not wish this on myself or anyone else. I also just wish so many people did not think that you can just wish it away. I wish I could. My Anxiety thought for the day. Have a great day/night fellow bloggers!
Some days I just find myself in a whirlwind of emotions. I am fighting the every ready Anxiety that tried to bring me down. I feel that fear that comes with asking myself if I am okay or is it just anxiety? I grip onto my mind and tell it to stop. Just stop. Then I pray. I do my Yoga. I put Lavender oil I make behind my ears and on my wrist. Then I start to get calmer and finally I can breathe okay instead of running to my room to get away from everything. I know why I have the anxiety and fear and I know I can beat it but for now I am happy each time I just manage to win the war and not let the fear and anxiety overtake me.
I have no idea why but EVERY full moon and the night before I just cannot get to sleep. I do not even know if this is normal but I know it is agitating! I just wonder if anyone else has this issue? Not a long post but I am just curious because it is so weird!