When you meet your daughter’s FIRST boyfriend and she is bringing him home….

well the time comes when the kids get their first “real” girlfriend or boyfriend and they bring them home to meet the “rents”. This was my experience. Hope yours went or goes better. hahahahahahaha.
STEP ONE: Telling the parents:
“Hey. I am bringing (Adam), name changed to protect privacy) home to meet you and dad but I wanted to go over some stuff first.
STEP TWO: Rules of engagement:
“Now. Please do NOT say anything about vegans. His mom is one. Please do not talk any politics. His dad does not like your choice”.
“Um, do not mention any of your funny things about me as a kid. I will just die of embarrassment”.
“Could we not have my brother come out of his room (although he lives here too) He may say something that Adam finds offensive and I really, really like him”.
“Also, he is very sensitive about his retainer so do not mention anything about teeth please. AT all. And Adam is like really into music you do not like so let’s not discuss anything concerning music, or where he lives or what his parents do or what you and dad too for a living and generally just like, um, let us talk and you just kind of smile and listen. Unless of course he ask you something. Oh, and do not compliment his smile. he gets upset”.
I look at her oddly.
Daughter: “Well I don’t actually know if he gets upset but I am sure he might”.
Me: “So, basically just sit there like a life form and look at your boyfriend. Am I allowed to go pee? or is that out too”?
Daughter: Huffs. “Mom, I think you are going a bit overboard.
Me: I roll my eyes.
Daughter: “Please do NOT roll your eyes when he is here. he may take that as a sign of aggression”.
Me: “Is he human or a bear”?
Needless to say, the species male Adam came. he was funny, he joked around and he never went into shock at the sight of his girlfriends parents. He did ask questions. It was a great night and her brother came out and said hi before going back to his game in his room. I thought it went great. Adam loved his visit. My daughter cried for two days. lol. Adam comes on a regular basis now. Joys of parenting.