I am becoming stronger…. Mentally & More…. A challenge Accepted…

I have challenged myself during this time to try and make my mind build strength again as I battled the Anxiety and more. I fight and fought it. And to my delight, it is a slow walk but I am becoming stronger. mentally and Physically and more. Yes, I am still battling Anxiety but I know it could have been much worse. Each day I find myself just a spoon full stronger but every little spoonful adds up. I walk now more, I am eating better, I am challenging my mind. I do Yoga, Yardwork, Devotional time, prayer, meditation and ANYTHING to keep my mind busy and I even play Brain games. NO, I do not do all of it everyday but I do some of it everyday. I accepted the challenge Thank god, so far, I am winning. Thanks to all of you who support me and keep me hanging in there and encourage me. You are a huge part of this battle! have a great day/night fellow bloggers/writers. Team US!

When or if Life becomes normal again……

I will appreciate the ability to go where I want
I will be happy to go see family and not complain about how long it takes.
I will be thankful for the time it gave me to write on here and share life with all of you. Of course, I still intend to but it gave me extra time in the day to do it.
I will be thankful for the good things that have come from it…
Fresher air, less cell phone time when we can or do get together, playing board games, just going to restaurants to eat and just things I took for granted.
I will appreciate the wonder of Nature outside of my door.
Taking photos wherever I want again.
I appreciate so much that I had forgotten to see and take the time to notice.

The Great Pretenders….. When people hurt you…

I call them the great pretenders because they are so nice to me but I know that when I turn my back, most of them are the first jab a knife in there while they run around telling their “peeps” everything mistake I could possibly make and if there isn’t one, trust me, they can find SOMETHING. It is hard when the people you care about do not care back. For whatever reason, I get chosen as the scapegoat for all of the things that are wrong. So, I am learning to let it go (very hard) and just pretend I do not know and I just stay and play nice. Honesty is not allowed. Only if they need me for something am I wonderful again. But I am also learning to love myself and if that is how they choose to be then at least they do not suck my emotional heart out anymore. Sometimes, just turning around and emotionally walking away is more healing than trying to gain someone’s love.

I am trying to catch up on some of your blogs so I can keep them in my head….Thank all of you who write and post the beautiful things that get us through……

The picture journeys that speak to my soul, the blogs about life that and love and kids and everything that help me find joy, the blogs about sorrow that help me to know I do not cry alone. The blogs about so many things. Blogs to help us in our writing, blogs about pets, love of Nature, blogs on Yoga, anxiety and empaths. I could go on and on but THANK YOU to each of you who keep me and I know so many other bloggers afloat on our journey of life! You are ALL so very awesome… Off to read more now! Hugs!

Spread the Love today…. America United as ONE……

With all the depressing news and everything going on maybe we could all find someone to spread some love to. I am sure going to try even if it is from home. I am enjoying the beauty of the day and trying to check on those who are worse off than me whether mentally or whatever. I hope we joins AS ONE in this Country. No need for color, or gender or anything to stop us from showing we can unite as a Country and get through this all with a LOT of love going around. Give some love, share some food, call someone lonely or depressed, if you can help a parent in distress or just whatever! Hugs everyone!

A beautiful day outside and I have started walking… My usual Yoga and prayer and meditation now followed by Tai Chi again!…….

Well, I have started walking more and picked up my Tai Chi again to go with my Yoga. I am doing as much as I can to stave off anxiety during these times and achieve a calm state of mind. It works and I am happy with that but as you may have seen from some of my writing, I have my down days as well. But I am hoping that by increasing to as many positives as I can, I will able to withstand the grief of loss recently and past, this Virus thing from getting to me and to have good days! Hugs! hearts.

Anxiety, Panic and Life as we know it right now……

It is hard to write and for some hard to read. But panic and anxiety is so hard. Waking up from a sleep and feeling so weird because you are suddenly feeling that “warmth” that usually means an attack is coming. Wanting to get out bed to get, for me in helping, a cold bottled water but not able from fear of what if it is something else? Not wanting to wake your other, if you have one but it is embarrassing to ask for their help. Going to bed early just to be awake but play an online game or anything to get your mind off of it. The feeling that I have lost the freedom not to be scared it could come on fast and sometimes for no reason.
It is the fear of wondering if something else is wrong so I try the “difference” method. If I can slow it sown it is panic or anxiety. If I cannot, I need to seek help. It is a continuous mind game with my brain. I am trying really hard and the isolation doesn’t really help. But I just felt the need to write this today in case someone else out there is feeling this. You are NOT alone.