It has been a few years since you died. I used to not even be able to say that word but do now because you did. You took a piece of my heart with you. This time of year is hard because you loved Holidays. I laugh, I enjoy your nieces and i enjoy life but it does not change the loss of you. My heart still cries and I still cry. Not everyday but I think of you everyday.
People say I changed well yeah. I did. I lost something worth more than any money in the World. I lost you. I am blessed to have your sister and her precious babies. you would have been the best Aunt ever. I laugh with them. The oldest 12, knows all about you and she even writes you notes and ask about your life. The baby is only 15 months so of course she doesn’t yet. Your sister misses having someone to talk to. I miss your laughter and how you never took life so seriously. Little things were that. Nothing to stress over.
You had challenges with Autism but you made it through struggle after struggle. I am a bit harsher now with life. I am not the old me. but I don’t have to be. the “new” me that came a bit after you died saw life from a different view. I still love, I still feel blessed with your sister and family but I will get “over” losing you. I love you. Always. Love, mom.