I know it is hard to understand me since I lost my child/children. I know I have breakdowns. I know I act crazy at times. I am. Because I am trying to deal with pain and anxiety I never had before. I know I get defensive. I do because I feel like the world left her/them behind but not me. I know I am putting you in a strange spot when I am laughing one minute and crying the next. I know. Why can’t you see what I feel? Because you haven’t been there and I hope you never are.