No, I have not forgotten you….I love you . Always.

In my post I used to write more often about the daughter I lost and sometimes I still do but especially at this time of year, I have to hold on to my sanity. But No, Nikki, I have not forgotten you. I never would. You were, as well as your baby brother Ryan I lost so much of my heart. So is your sister who is still and I thank God for that because if she had not been, I think I would have truly lost my mind that day. I miss your smile, your humor, your laughter and I wish you were still here with us. I still cry when I write about you and I still cry when I hear your songs that you loved.
I laugh sometimes now at your funny memories but I cannot ever forget the loss of when you left us. It still hurts so bad and you were truly so good. You had moments like everyone but I swear sometimes, I DO believe you were an Earthly angel
Your ability to keep my grounded with my hot temper, your way of never seeing bad in anyone, your love for making others laugh and your genuine love of life. You just LOVED life. Everything was beautiful to you. I mean even the things I so often over look. A strange type of rock, the shape of a tree, people, just everything. No. I have not forgotten you my sweet love. A mother never forgets the child/children she has loved and lost.

Anxiety, Yoga and Living the Life…

As you all know by now I am have Anxiety. Nothing new there and I love Yoga but hate the downward dog pose as it threatens to pull every muscle from my body. But I am working it and I am doing it and I am able to control it at this point which at this time of year is like fantastic! So, not to say that I won’t have an episode but I am glad to be able to at least keep it at a minimum. So I want to say that yes, Yoga is a blessing and a lot of praying and a lot of Tai Chi and a lot of meditation. I actually must look funny as I try to work (thank God from home) but my husband passes by and sees me doing it as he cocks his eyebrow because he always seems to pass by when I am in some weird Yoga or Tai chi position. But hey, Life as I know it. have a great day everyone!

This cat is driving me crazy and she is on a mission……

Okay. So my cat had to be separated from the other large cat (both have been fixed) but the larger cat, Scout decided he hates Pixie Dust (the one taunting me) so I had to put her in my home office. Oh my Gosh! This cat is a mass of destruction. I know cats are notorious for pushing thinks over but she dances on my keyboard, bites me when I do not pet her enough which is every second I am in here trying to work. She has crashed all of my things off the shelves.
She also enjoys for pleasure chewing any paper I have out and shreds it for me to clean. I put it all up so she has decided to go on new ventures and destroy my canvas and beads (also my art storing area). So now her newest quest is trying to chew through my paint tubes and make my pens turn into liquid drips. I cannot put her out of the room Or Scout goes after her. Soooooo, I am now moving anything other than the essentials to another room with a closet. I guess the 400 treats, toys and other things just do not appeal. I even put a cardboard box in here. she hates it. But I love her. Even if she jumped on the back of my office chair five minutes ago and threw her claws into my scalp. I guess she wants me as crazy as she is..

The Sounds of Silent Abandon………..

In this world we live in today, it is so filled with noise but there is still not much as far as communication on a deep level. We live in silent abandon. By that, I mean that we use so much social media that actual conversations and feelings expressed in person is rare. Yes, we talk at work about mundane things and of course as in all things, this does not apply to all people. But we are becoming so silent with our voices because we Instagram, twitter, snapchat, face book and email. Those require few words and just writing. Writing and all of these things are beautiful but I think the world would be better if we have more talking again. More actual communication verbal as opposed to texting or putting it on social media. The sounds of voices.