Copyright 2017 L.S.R
If ever your heart should forget me, then poison not my own heart
by continuing to live an untold lie.
Leave me and take your new destiny with you.
Do not waste precious moments that I can use to sew up the stitches of my soul.
For every time a heart is broken it is the guilt of the betrayer
that causes the innocent heart to suffer.
Would I be broken? Yes. As only a heart in love could be but I can also pick of the ripped fabric of my being and sew it back together.
Never as fully whole as it was but able to mend the wound until it can heal.
As love is the very essence that drives us and motivates us,
It can also rush us into extreme thoughts and actions
feeling that without this one love we cannot go on.
But we CAN and we DO and we heal. Never unscarred but able to love again for rare is the heart that chooses to never love again.
Or maybe that heart was the only one that ever truly loved to begin with and maybe those stitches were just too deep to heal.
I know, my Poetry is off of the wall but it is mine. I like and write what I feel from my heart.
Have a great day fellow bloggers and friends!
Life as an empath can be so hard and yet so awesome at the same time. It is hard to feel others pain and it is awesome to know how others are thinking and feeling but it hurts when you know it is about you if it isn’t good. That feeling where you know that they are mad but smiling and saying all is fine. The times when you want to tell them things but you know you will lose another friend. But on the up side, you may not have many friends BUT you have true friends because you picked based on how you feel and what you are shown. It is wonderful to discern fake from real but it is hard to accept that fake usually outweighs real.
This cat just loves to check out everything! It is so very funny to watch him. He came from a stray mom and ended up staying. He will not let me pet him but he will gladly take the food and get near me. He is so fun to watch. he leaps in the air trying to catch butterflies and just anything he can leap up for. He runs trails through the grass when he chases a lizard. I named him Argon. The curious cat.
I am working on more fairy pictures to relieve some anxiety because my Yoga morning went awry. I started out doing it but I got a cramp in my foot so no downward dog today. But then downward and I do not get along so that was not a problem. But then I could do most of the other poses so I went back to sitting in my yoga pose for relaxing. And sooooo, I went to get up and tripped over my mat. So hello anxiety and my fairies are trying to elude me as I make them. Ouch. One of those days but still thinking positive thoughts as I check on the parakeets. Oh one has escaped the cage. I caught it but on the positive side, it is pretty while it flies. Hahahahahahaha.
We wish you knew how hard it is from our side. Watching as drugs and the abuse you go through with him because you must think you don’t deserve better. You do. But we have told you that so many times. Your life was so good but some things happened that made your mind think you were not worthy. You had it all but then the spiral began. slowly at first but then it just kept spiraling and here we are.
You want us to rescue you when your mind is clear but then you don’t want help at the same time. You are in the only comfortable you know. To you it is something stable and that confuses us. you are not alone. you have family and friends who love you. we don’t understand and we try to. we really do. Some very brief times you tell us a little bit but then you go back. I hate drugs and I hate abuse but we love you. we wish we could be your rescue but we can only watch the fall. That is the hardest part of this stupid ride.
He came with his handsome exterior and his charming ways
Hiding his demons and his needles and his little book of tricks.
Then he gave you his wares, bit by bit until he had you hooked.
Then you slowly changed. Your smile changed & your eyes lost their light.
You became angry and defensive and then at times you were laughing as
he laughed and smiled and told you it was fine. He brought you the needles and
drugs and drink to pull you in.
he disguised them all as a beautiful bouquet of love.
But what you could not see even though we warned you and begged you
was the horrible truth until it was too late.
You could never see the Demon behind the mask.
I still miss your laugh, your smile, your way of making other people laugh and how much you enjoyed life. I wish you could be here to see your little niece grow up. I think you two would have been best buddies. I think you and your sister would be talking a lot. I think of you everyday and I look at your picture and wonder if you were still here, what would you be doing? Would you find the world too cruel or would you still find the lining behind every cloud? I don’t know. But I do know, I will never forget you nor could I . You brought a special light into my life and the little light burned away when you left leaving a part of my empty and alone. I love. you. Nikki. I. always. will. Love,
Mom. Sarah Nicolle Day you left me: Feb. 17th, 2007