I am trying it but I can tell this will be slow going but I figure if I even cut back just a bit it is better than nothing. My experience so far today is letting me know that I have to take this in very slow baby steps but hey! A baby starts by crawling so if I can even manage this of cutting back just a little that is a huge accomplishment to me! So my sweet blogger friends I am trying and I hope it brings encouragement for you too that we can do this in steps or even cut down just a bit!
Okay fellow friends and bloggers. As I go along, I am trying to wean off just a tiny bit on my anxiety meds. I am not on a huge dose and I have kept them the same for almost five years. But I am trying to use my other methods (prayer, meditation, yoga, etc.)to go along with it. Last night went okay even during a stress full situation.
So I will try cutting that dose again this evening. I know it will be a journey that may not be easy but I want to get me back. I know this is a struggle and I know I have to be logical about it but I try anything I can to try and work out this situation. I also know my brain is all in how I train it. But life is filled with anxiety so I also know to tread this carefully! So, just trying. 🙂
Already have my ticket on this train.
It consumes me as I watch life pass by
Then it drops me off
and I live life with out it
But it issues a ticket on a new day
So I can watch as I hide in my seat.
Like a carousel
On and off again.
Almost like a friend because it is always there
But a mortal enemy for the damage it does.
Fighting and winning
Battles I sometimes lose.
This train is a crazy one.
But maybe as I trudge along on the ride,
I will learn the only ticket I need
Is freedom for it so I can live without boarding
This crazy panic train.
I do battle anxiety but I know there is a ray of light behind this dark cloud of junk that tries to over power me. I overthink, I over everything. But I see the light that shines through and that keeps me trying. I see the ray of hope and it gives me hope that I can over come this. I see those who struggle with me and how we lift each other up when things seem dim. So, Behind every cloud there IS a ray of light.
I have just an ups and down last few days. Weeks actually. Some good and some bad. I battle this anxiety and then I feel like I have it mastered. I control it and then I get really anxious. It is such a battle as I try to be happy and then it hits again and I am just so angry that it attacks and interferes with my ability to enjoy things without fear.
It is CALLED ANXIETY. I HATE it but I battle on.
I have a neighbor who was always just fussing about everything. Nothing was ever right. I got to where I avoided her at all cost because my anxiety would shoot up when I saw her, knowing another complaint was coming.
Then wow! This morning, someone (probably teens that like to wreck havoc here, lol) let my two sheps out. I was asleep and didn’t know. she , the neighbor, actually rounded them up and got them back in the fence. I got up and went outside to feed the cat and here she came. OH wow! But then she told me about the dogs and that my biggest was just sitting in the street and our neighbors drive 50 in this 25 zone. She is a small woman and how she managed it I have no clue because he weighs 120 pounds.
Needless to say, I could not thank her enough. It turns out she loves animals and did not want my dog to get hurt. The other younger shep was just playing in the front yard. Soooo, we ended up exchanging numbers, she has anxiety too and I now have a FRIEND and not a frenemy!