Panic and Positive thoughts….

So, I define my panic attacks and my anxiety on a separate plain. Because panic attacks bother me worse than anxiety if that makes sense. BUT, I have found with both that trying to keep positive thoughts in my head seem to help a lot. Avoiding people who want to criticize me. Trying to find beauty in anything. I also try to be more positive when I can. Sometimes, during anxiety, I can be hateful and not very kind but it is because I am about to scream in my brain that I am a jello square jiggling all over.
So, that is me and my issues today. so far, pretty good on things! I hope all my fellow strugglers are doing good too!

Love & Hate…………….

I loved you
And you hated me.
I hated you
Then you loved me.
I sang for you
You hushed my voice
I became quiet
You asked me to sing.
I wept for your heart
You turned me away.
I turned away
You ran to come get me.
I followed your dreams
You changed them so I could not follow.
So I stopped and then
you told me how to find them.
I finally gave you up
to whatever demons you fought.
Then you finally gave up the demons
To embrace me in your love.
Now I desire it no more.

Life in all of its beauty……..

Sunshine and flowers,
Storms and wind,
Children and laughter,
Old couples together and in love.
New young love and the shine it brings,
Families and joy and togetherness.
Puppies, cats, dogs and kittens,
animals of every kind that we love.
And they love us.
Nature and birds and the call of the wild.
Life, living, love, sorrow, tears
happiness, crying, laughter, hurt
pain, wishes. granted. denied.
hoping, believing, praying, running
to and through the journey….
Of Life.

As my heart races……….

OUCH! I was just writing a short bit ago how I am staying busy to keep anxiety down and I have been doing good and them BAM! I stepped outside and my heart just felt like it was racing! I was really taken off guard because I have been doing so well.
But this is life with panic and anxiety. It can come from nowhere and when you don’t even expect it at all. It has calmed a little since I have been steadily writing but it has not completely quit racing. I guess I just have to accept it as a reality and face it head on but man can it be hard to do. But I am trying and I am doing all I can to adjust and try to keep it out of my mind. It is times like these when it comes out of no where that bother me the most.