Saying Goodbye to Tracer… For animal lovers

I had to say goodbye to my beautiful rescue of 10 years yesterday, Tracer. My heart was so broken and I cried all day. I guess he was older than I thought when I rescued him. Starving, dying from lack of food and he wandered up on my sisters property. It was evening when I pulled in and saw this starving dog. I had a meal I had bought, got out of my car and fed him and gave him the bottled water I had. As he stood back up, he just put his head against my leg and looked at me with these beautiful sad brown eyes.
I thought my sister would keep him but when I got back home, 40 miles away she had called and said no. He would be taken to the pound because they couldn’t care for him. I couldn’t sleep at all that night and I told my husband early the next morning, “I am going to get that dog. I have already named him Tracer. If he will get in my car, I am bringing him.” He had touched my heart when he just put his head against my leg.
So, off I went, stopped and got some fast food and prayed on my way he was still alive and still there. I pulled up and there he was, on the ground, shivering. I walked over and fed him some of the food and said, “Come on Tracer, we are going home.” I opened my old Volvo door and as bad off as he was he managed to jump in. That was 10 years ago. I did not realize it at the time but he rescued me too. He was my loyal friend, devoted tome, my companion. Three days ago, he started sleeping a lot and acting weird. He had been abused I knew because he would growl if he ever felt cornered which could be as simple as being against anything solid if he felt a threat. But I only showed him love. I stayed with him almost non stop these last three days as he seemed to get weaker and weaker.
I called the Vets but they wanted to muzzle and etc. which would have scared him so much. He was eating, drinking, walking (slowly) but other than sleeping a lot seemed just tired. The night before last he quit eating or drinking that evening. I knew I was losing him. I sat with him until 3 a.m., in the rain for me, in his shelter for him as I petted him. He died a little after 3 a.m. and I cried all day yesterday. I miss him so much. I love you Tracer and I hope, after who knows how many years of abuse, our ten years together made up for it. I will forever be grateful for the time and love we shared but I am sure going to miss you my sweet friend. I love you.

Author: artista10

Living Life.

22 thoughts on “Saying Goodbye to Tracer… For animal lovers”

  1. Such instant kindness and enduring love for a friend is the humanity we need to step back from the abyss. Saying goodbye is so painful it often stops us from saying hello but it didn’t stop you and I suspect more than two lives benefitted from that abundance of kindness and love you shared with Tracer. I wish you a peaceful heart from all you came to experience from that chance meeting ten years ago.

  2. I am really sorry for your loss. I wish you peace of heart that will allow you to overcome and substitute your pain with gratitude for everything you shared together. All my love, Manuela.

  3. I’m so sorry to hear about this. I really am sorry for your loss. You have written a very beautiful post for Tracer, and you should take comfort in the fact that he probably has received more love and kindness from you than he ever had in his life. I hope you will be okay, take care.

    1. Thank you! I look forward to reading yours as well. Yes, he was such a wonderful friend and I miss him. He was worth everyday I had him from the day we “found” each other! 🙂 😦

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s