ANXIETY and its many challenges…..

As you all know, I am a person who battles panic & anxiety. Over these past four years, I have learned ways to combat it and I take a medication that helps keep it somewhat leveled out but I still use alternate methods. Exercise, breathing techniques, ice packs on bad days and yoga. These are just things to help me along. It does get frustrating and the fight is real BUT I am working daily to overcome it and get back to the old me. So, I hope this little tidbit might help my fellow sufferers in some ways we can fight it. Have a great day.

LOVE & INSANITY. THE FINE LINE….

Such a fine line between the two. What defines the difference?

Insanity is an escape from reality, a journey that some fear to tread.

So is Love.

Love is harsh, yet comforts, gives hope yet causes delusions.

So does Insanity.

Insanity keeps you from accepting certain truths and drives you to the brink.

So does love.

Love demands loyalty. It gives, it takes, it waits fro redemption.

So does insanity.

Most never cross the fine line that divides the two.

For the ones who do, they may never know the difference.

L.S. Rockel

When

I thought of you as I walked on the beach, sand crunching beneath my feet.
I listened to the sounds of crashing waves you loved so much
as they rush onto the sand and soothe our soul.
I waited, Thinking you might just walk up beside me but I knew it was a dream and you were not here.
I went to the place where we put you to rest,
but to me it is just empty and useless.
You are not here, you never have been.

I look at your photo so many times and fantasize that I could change the events that day and tell you not to get in that car but I know better.
Times does NOT heal all wounds but it just soothes the pain over time so we can survive.
Love does not die, it is just here in my heart and I feel it when I think of you, look at your photo and remember the life we had together.
I wish I had known so many things when you were here that I know now
but I learned them when you went away. When I realized you were truly gone.
WHEN
L.S. Rockel

When I can make you smile, I know I am doing right.

My greatest joy besides my family, is when I can make people smile. Even at times when I am in the depths off about to have an anxiety moment or whatever, I just love to s=d o something that can make someone else smile. Maybe I feel it helps my heart knowing they are not sad, even if for a bit.
But I love to make other people happy. I love to bring them joy. I fail sometimes when I get treated bad by some of the same people but I am learning to not pity party and rise above it. Because as long as I can make someone smile and brighten their day, then it is worth it. It really is. Have a wonderful day!

I fight battles of many kinds but when I win some of them, I win good.

I fight many battles in life as we all do and some I lose and those are bad days and some I win and those are great days. But I gather strength from God, friends, here most of all, yes, it is true, some family but few. Most do care to be there. Just judge. But as I go along, I realize life is full of battles and we just win as many as we can.
Life is also filled with beauty. The people who show love and compassion (some I have never even met), beautiful blue skies, funny animals, children’s laughter, flowers and nature in general. So I am trying to focus on the beauty, not the battles and I hope for those , like me, you can as well! Have a wonderful day everyone!

I have met some of the best people here….

I have met some of the best people on here. Compassionate people, funny people, people who have become blog friends, dreamers, artist, photographers, writers, and the list just goes on. I absolutely think we have some AWESOME people on here! I follow, I read their blogs even though I am still learning how to get to sites but I am getting there and the friends I have made on here are incredible! So, to my fellow bloggers, thanks for being some of the most AWESOME people I will probably never meet in person. Lol

My Blog is About Reality Life….

I do occasionally put some humor on here, lol, but I started blogging for those people like me who need to hear about lives that are not always happy and glorious and for people who live with the loss of a child or anxiety,
panic or live with someone who has these issues. Autism (my oldest daughter) ADHD, OCD (me) and so we could all relate or maybe someone wanted to knw what it is .

But I also love to read the happy blogs and the blogs about photography and just fun things because they lift me up! I love to see the smiles, the flowers, the gardens or old landmarks and just everything. So, of course in an already dismal world, my page is not as popular as others but I never expected it to be.
But that is what I love about the beauty of blogging. We can all be ourselves and share with each other our realities and our lives.

Crazy Sue………………….

A COUNTRY and/or LOVE SONG

We lived together for 12 long years,

before you finally said I do.

I didn’t know for us, it would mean we was through.

You said you would love me forever,

I didn’t know that meant for a day.

Cause you left me the very next morning,

When Piggly wiggly Sue, stole your heart away.

Now I’m stuck with six kids, ages 11 down to three

While you took her bowlin’

And watched movies most about me.

My heart has been broken, yeah, broken in two

So I hope you are happy and she’s happy with you.

I had us big dreams you know, cookouts and figs,

But you left me here, with kids, chickens and pigs.

Well, it’s been a month now and I’m starting to heal,

I guess in love, well, nothin is real.

So here is some news for you, Romeo Joe,

A tidbit of info you ought to know.

Last week my BFF Kathy set me up on a date

I have really found true love, guess it aint never too late.

The next night, he done gave me a ring, a real beauty divine,

This morn we got married at quarter till nine.

L.S. Rockel

Reflecting Back……………..

I have been doing good and having a majority of good days but today started off thus far kind of back sliding. I woke at 5:30 a.m. with pain across my breast bone. I fell back asleep but when I got up for the day, it was still there gnawing at me. I got nervous, of course and went to look it up. I RARELY do that anymore but of course you know how we get at pains or scary unknown hurts.

It seems to be common an I hope it is but at first, one of the signs was heart attack. I pray not because it is gone mostly now but the dumb thing about panic and anxiety that I hate is that it is often confused with heart attack so it is always scary.

Needless to say, I had to have some calm down time. It is so crazy this secret world we live in because it is mixed with joy, fear, happy and scared. So, I am now at a calmer state but I wish they could come up with a magic watch that tells us what is actually going on. Kind of like a built in heart monitor on the watch that beeps out, “NO, you are fine. This is NOT heart related or NO you are fine, it is a stomach thing. I have Crohn’s so that doesn’t help sometimes.

So today, I will probably worry but I TRY no to run to urgent care at every pain. Then I just hope and pray I am right and if it doesn’t get better I guess I end up going. However, that is the stupid up and down of anxiety and/or panic and it just plain sucks sometimes. So, I will try to be positive, reflect on my blessings and just relax.