I have been doing better. I am learning to redirect my mind, use the 1,000 plus methods I have found and yes, still take a med when needed but that is getting better too. But there are the dark days. Those are the days when it seems o consume my life. The days when I get out of bed and know it is coming. It is all an illusion in our brain telling us things that we have to fear or worry over even though we do not. But we fear it anyway.
Those days are not fun. i am edgy, frustrated over something I just DO NOT GET. Why? I was always in control of my life. This makes me feel like I am a puppet and no matter what I do, it is there. Waiting to creep up or just spring up out of nowhere. o, I try and focus more on the good days and I try to defeat the bad and dark ones. I try to focus on anything, and I mean anything that will not let it spiral out of control. It is working most of the time.
But one dark day can ruin it. So, for all of us who suffer from it, look for that ray of sun, the child or person who can divert you from that feeling. That awful, scary feeling. Smile anyway. Yes, almost impossible but do it and then try to get past it. Read, work, do anything that can bring us back to the light. Above all, hang on.