No, you don’t understand us or our issue. Some of you try but you can’t see it so you either run from it or try to help by blindly doing what you might think helps. We love those of you who do try and we are sad for those who rung because you are running from us as well.
So, I am going to try and take you into our world and see if I can give you a glimpse of what it feels like or how scary it can be. Take your worst phobia or fear and imagine going through it. An example would be claustrophobia. The fear of closed in spaces. Have someone put you in a tiny confined area with no light and close you in. They are not going to tell you when they will let you out.
So, there you are, with no idea when or how you can get out. There is no escape. The fear builds the longer you are there and no one comes to get you out. Thoughts start getting into your head and you get more and more panicked with each minute that ticks by. Seconds seem like hours.
Finally, after what seems to have been hours, the door opens but you are shaking, terrified and beyond any way of calming yourself down. the person with you tries to console you but it does no good. Because why? You are in a state of panic. Your mind is playing games with you and finally,finally, after you think you are on the brink of going insane, you get calm.
That is what happens in our life when these moments come. This is how our lives are in these moments. Yes, there are things we learn and use to get better and then a day comes and bam, it hits out of the blue. I only began having panic attacks less than two years ago. I went from a strong, very independent person to a person who found herself totally at a loss as to what had happened.
I still battle it and although MOST of my days are good, and I am so grateful and blessed for that, I am never sure when they will pop up. But, I thought maybe if those around us could just get a small glimpse of what we go through, it might help them to understand. We need you to know, not run.