When you become a new parent, you get advice from EVERYBODY. Here are some tips I learned along the way and maybe they will help.
A) NEVER listen to someone who has never had a child. They will tell you everything THEIR child will never do. Example: Your toddler is crying and they are like, “Seriously?, you need to crack down on that.” Until they have their own of course and then everything changes. All of a sudden, there is a valid reason why THEIR toddler is crying. People who have never had a child have great advice on how you should raise your kid and how to correct ALL the problems. then they have their own and wow, same issues but their solution is “My poor little baby must be sick, need something, etc. etc. The same things they said you were doing wrong? they are now doing the same or worse. Yeah, been there, seen that.
B) Remember that every child is different. What works for one may not work for the other. You may see the “golden” child who is always easy, never causes a problem, does whatever you say and etc. etc. Wait until they become a teen. Then you see another child who is acting out, doesn’t listen and etc. etc. There is probably a very valid reason. Lifestyle changes, Autism (real autism, not the excuse they use now for just plain spoiled kids), insecurities and etc. No, a demon has not taken over the child. They just need to have time with them to see what caused the change.
C) Step-Families and Co- Parenting: There are so many step families now that the issue becomes “yours and mine” There is no yours and mine. They are yours together. If one parent shows they favor their own kids or kid, it will cause the other child/children to be resentful and then your problems begin. ALL of the children should be raised in the same manner. If Susy cannot get away with then neither should Katie be allowed to get away with it. If Johhny hates sports but Mikey loves sports and dad or step-dad is a sports fanatic, do NOT downgrade Johnny because he prefers music to sports. And remember, your child/children did not ask for the divorce and the change in their lives so co-parent so your child/children are loved and feel loved by both parents. Do NOT put them in the middle of a war. You loved your ex at one time enough to have a kid with them so learn to keep your kids out of the battle. NOTE: this excludes abusive parents of any type.
D) Spoiled children: The angel and the demon,lol: There are two types of spoiled children. One is the angel, who has been pacified, sheltered, nurtured, given anything she wants and if the word no is ever said, it is recounted with pampering, hugs, coddling and she still gets what she wants so there is no reason for her to ever act up. The demon child, hahahaha, . He has been given the same treatment as the angel but at the word no, no amount of coddling or anything else will make him happy until he gets what he sought for to begin with and he usually does. You are NOT doing your child a favor.
E) Love and Discipline and the types of discipline: You should always love and encourage your child with positive reinforcement and not telling them how they are horrible and pointing out every mistake they make. You can discipline your child firmly while still showing them that along with that, you love them very much but society could care less about your kid. When they enter the “real” world, it is a hard time to find out life didn’t evolve around Betty or Bobby. The types of discipline vary. Popping a child a couple of times if you choose that method is very different than beating them. Some children you could spank all day and it will not make a difference because as mentioned earlier, each child is different. Another child may respond to time out but not hours of it. That is abuse. In older children, taking away their phones for a bit, loss of computer time etc. all work great. BUT always, let your child know you love them but there are consequences for every action.
F) The new generation of parenting: Playstations, wii, phones, tablets and etc. have become the new norm for children of all ages. Do not let those devices take the place of family time, doing things together and no, not playing on playstation while you are on facebook. Take them camping, fishing, to the park, out to do a picnic. ANYTHING that does NOT require electronics. Oh, and put your own phone down while doing it. Nothing is more important than that time with your child.
G) No, I am not a Doctor, Psychologist, therapist or child counselor. I am a mom who has learned over the years the things I did right, the things I did wrong and thanks to many nieces and nephews, I learned just how different each child can be.
F) Take your kids to church. You want them to learn love, kindness, and many other wonderful traits to have? You can find it there.