A morning of calm

So, today has been good so far. Of course it is early in the day but dogs and kitties have been good. Working on book and it comes and goes and I start and restart it. Yeah, not experienced with the whole writing thing. Doing it for me. Poetry I love to write but this is way different. So anyway, it is early in the day so we shall see.

I am trying to defeat the cycle within my mind. Although yesterday was bad I DID control it to a very strong point. THAT was good. It tried to start this morning but I shoved it off. So, that was good. Do any of you have things you would like to add that help you? That make you more aware of how to not just handle but defeat this? I would love to hear them.

I even got an app for grown up coloring books and I am an artist ,so, hhahaha on that but I am doing it. I just have not picked up my art supplies in a couple of months and I have that tendency anyway, so no big deal. I go through periods where I just don’t want to do art.  Other times, I am into it for weeks.

Okay, enough about me. I hope as we all take this journey, you are finding something on here that inspires or helps you. I hope you are learning to retrain your brain as I am trying to do and I hope we ALL can overcome this stupid panic, anxiety or depression (whichever you may suffer from) so we can live our lives fully and enjoy it. Have a great day my friends.

The life of a Pastor’s Wife and the unrealistic expectations

So, I have read and studied and ask other Pastor’s wives how they do it and I was surprised to find that many are like me.  Okay, so I was NOT born to be the wife of a Pastor. By that I mean, I never knew God was going to put me in that role. I lived a pretty bold life in my teens and young adult years and I was not who you would expect to see nor would you have imagined my husband EVER becoming a Pastor. But God turned our lives around and here we are from Youth Leaders to he being a Pastor.

As I found from so many other Pastor’s wives, we are put on a level we have no place on nor do we desire to be there. YES, we will do anything we can to help. Yes, we serve God at home and church. Yes, we love our church but many told me to also be honest about who I am as a human. Yes, I am still a human.

So here goes. This is who I am as Pastor Dan’s wife:

I like to shoot guns. I went yesterday after 20 years. may have damaged my ear drums but I can still get center shot.

I like scary movies. Yep. I do. Never ones with demon content or possession but yes, I like some.

I get frustrated.

I am battling things that any human battles at times no matter how “Godly” you are. Has God failed me? NO! I just am not able to do anything but lean on his mercy to help me overcome.

I am brutally honest (working on that one).

I do not care if you know I falter because no one is perfect.

I am caring, loyal, loving and I always feel such compassion for abused children and animals.

I am me. I love people, I love our church, I love my husband and I of course love God.

BUT I am human, prone to mistakes and I pray daily for my failures. hat is who I am.

WEEK OF WORK: PANIC, ANXIETY & LIVING

Okay, it has been good and it has been some bad. I am using all of my methods as you have read before but I am also teaching the brain God gave me that I am in c0ontrol of it. There ARE days I feel the ship is sinking but then I pull that anchor up with my bare hands and say, NO! Stop that! because WE can beat this. Do NOT allow the fear to overcome you. It truly IS all in our mind.

When we take the focus off of the negative, we begin to plant that seed and watch it grow stronger each day. Do whatever it takes when your mind starts to fixate whether it is a book, or a picture to color, yes, I said that, or drawing or whatever. Pick it up and do it. I always use my white door now vs. black door (earlier post) and I also stop it IF and WHEN I can before it starts.

IF I feel it coming, I do my methods but I don’t fight it as much anymore. I face by saying I know it is there but I control it. It does NOT matter if we are fully healed but we can be and let go of this fear. It is not something we need in our lives. Face  your negative with a positive. Make your negative into a POSITIVE!

Stay AWAY from people who insult you, hassle you about what you believe or people who in a “sweet” way, say things that they KNOW will upset you. Those things we do NOT need. So for today, let us focus on our POSITIVE. Tell yourself and MEAN it that you are good, that you can and will do this, that you are a GREAT person! 🙂 HOOYAH!!!

PHASE TWO: PANIC VS POSITIVE

Okay guys, it is time to kick into gear or Phase II.  That is challenging our mind to over come the anxiety, panic and fear that our own minds have created. We have to replace our negative with positive thoughts but we also have to take positive action. I read a bit of a book and you can get the free four minute videos of David Rutherford’s navy seal training for positive outlook. It is teaching us to take action.

One thing is to wake up knowing it might be a tough day but we are tough and we can beat it. We are in battle. Ours is in the mind. So we have to face that head on. Mine started as soon as I got up. Cats crying to be fed (yes all of my animals are very well fed but the cats , the alien ones demand food on site). So I fed them all and then took care of the dogs. I accidentally hit my head on the door trying to get the cat out of the garage. How? I have no clue but it happened.

Then I hear work is a bad day from hub. So, as his swim partner, I tried to enforce positive to thoughts to me and him. Then I turned on the T.V. and  the internet is out so I had to reset everything but that is how I started my battle this a.m. So I took a positive battle and decided that those were things than usually can be fixed. I am making myself do 10 push ups or whatever your body will allow even if it is a five minute walk to combat every time I whine.

Now, since I am just telling my day here, I won’t call all of the above whining BUT I will have to do ten push ups because I mentioned a whine to the hub. I am really hoping this enables me to fight this panic. We will see. I am only on day one. I will, L.W. share as I go. Let’s get our combat gear on and start fighting. NOTE: Don’t fight the panic or anxiety or depression, just tell it you know it is there BUT you are in control. If needed, hold that ice pack, take the breaths you need that work for you but above all, fight the NEGATIVE. So good day and let’s pray we can win this war.

Deleting the facebook, deleting the stress

This morning I took a big step to get away from negativity and deleted my face book. I kept trying to start a new one or to just make them positive but I realized that it just does not work for me. Everyday seems to bring new downer post, people get offended, I cannot seem to keep it positive so off it went. Yes, I will miss it in some ways but in others, it is just a relief. I have Pinterest, The Art Tree, I have twitter and I have other things to focus on.

So, that being said, I hope this helps even more. I am waiting to see what new challenges I can find and how I can redirect myself in other ways. I was not a 24/7 face book fan anyway. Okay peeps, have a great day! 🙂