Well, this time of the last week or so was a plop. But I hung in there, I had good moments and bad moments and I had days I could have pulled my hair out and days I thought a nervous breakdown was on the way but I did all of my ways of dealing and hung in there. I even had to resort to meds. I exercised, I got angry, I cried, I laughed and then I kept telling myself, you can do this. I prayed, I did Hypnosis , I used my calming music and my music that uses binaural to lift your emotions. I used every method I could think of.
The upside is that I did stay sane. Thank God for that. I am learning that I have to let set backs, be just that, set backs until I am finally able to get past this stupid issue that plagues me. Just wanted to check in with my fellow sufferers and say, yes, it can be done. It is hard, it takes a lot of work, it IS a mind game but NOT a mental illness. It is simply challenging your mind to stop those negative thoughts on the days when you feel you could freak. Still one more heart test and then I will know this IS all a panic thing. Good day my friends.
I was pondering my thoughts, yes, that can be scary but I was thinking about living together vs. getting married and before I get any rude comments, I did it myself before I became as most of you call me “religious”. lol. It is to me, kind of like renting houses. You check them out before you buy because you know it is most likely a lifetime change. Living together is the same thing. You check out the person first to make sure that is something you want for a lifetime. You do… everything like a married couple except sign a paper. Then, if it is not what you like, you move on. Sadly, someone usually is left with a broken heart and sometimes a kid who didn’t ask for any of it to start with. Kind of a cheap trade off for a simple paper that states you are willing to invest, the love, time and energy into that person, for better or for worse. So, for those who do hold biblical beliefs, that is a chance that now, looking back, why bother? If they love you enough to act married, why don’t they love you enough to commit? Someone once told me, “Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?’ Just food for thought.