Very slowly cutting back on my meds and I mean slowly, a tiny bit at a time but I am amazed at how much of a difference it makes. I have to be careful but I am happy that I can even be at this point. I am still battling the mind but it is slowly getting better and I feel like I am getting back to me . I do not expect every day to be a success but I do not think it doesn’t have to be either.
I am learning to stress less, let go, not fixate on a thought and worry it into me to the point of feeling like it is going to drive me insane. I am learning to let go of people’s ways and take them for who they are. I am me, they are them. What I might think is uber important and I need them, they may not even realize they were needed or maybe they just didn’t have time.
Before I got sick, when people called, I came to the best of my ability to be there. That is just my nature. I cannot stand to see people hurting or suffering and I cannot stand to sit till if someone is in need or needs someone. BUT, that is me. The way God geared me and that is what was hard for me. We are all made different. I am learning to accept that.
I am learning that is okay to have my heartbeat go up a bit. It is exercise OR it is just happening. I have had some test done, not all but then again most have come back normal. If I I take them all and all are normal, well, either way, life is life. What is going to happen will. That is why I feel my faith is important. If we believe in nothing, it can add to the anxiety. Or in my opinion anyway.
So today is another quest. Another challenge, another beautiful day that I hope to conquer. Today is here. I am here. That is awesome.