Day 10: Panic and negativity

So I am learning to focus on more positive as opposed to negative.

I wish people could understand that this is a battle and so while you avoid us because of our negativity, it is actually an issue that could be made more positive if you realized this is a battle that we struggle with.

The fear is not real and as we work to train our minds to that thought, maybe keep in mind, you cannot judge what you don’t understand.

I am having some great days and some not so good days since I started this but I don’t need nor want sympathy or just not speaking because it might affect your sunshine world.

Keep in mind that in a world where we all have to be “happy” all the time, there may come a time after I have overcome this when you may need me.

It would feel sad to think that I didn’t want to step in because I might be affected or “infected with your problem.

We find out who our real friends are when going through this and on the up side, we learn we were never really their friend at all.

Just someone they used for their wants until things went sour.

I am thankful I have learned things about my own self. That I was allowing negative thoughts instead of positive.

That I worry too much.

That I allow my OCD to try and control me..

That I would hold a grudge and not even know it.

However, I was always the first one there if I could be there when needed.

As I still have some who support me and I SO appreciate that, they just don’t know, I have found others who talk it well but never even send a text or a call to say “Thinking of you or checking on you.”.

I guess that was Gods way of showing me who felt I held some kind of importance in their lives.

The others I never needed anyway.

So, as I/we continue this journey, remember, the ones who care will show it in some form or another.

The ones who talk you will not hear from. What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? 15 If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, 16 and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? 17 Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.

The body includes the mind.

So, while I have or should say, I am learning as I go, I have realized the negative things I have to work on and who I can count on when the flooding begins.  Get rid of the people in your life who just do NOT care. Love them but let them go.


Author: artista10

I am an artist, photographer, wife, mom and Nonna. you can email me at Or find me on facebook under Lynda Rockel. :)

2 thoughts on “Day 10: Panic and negativity”

  1. I am very glad that you are doing this journaling and blogging. I think you are doing an excellent job of exploring what is happening with you, and there have to be other people out there who have panic attacks and anxiety who are learning from, and receiving comfort from, your very insightful writing. I love you and I wish I could say that I truly understand what you are going through, sister, but I do pray and I am going to do more research into it to see if there are more ways I can help and reach out to you.

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