My alien animals are just weird.

My journey with these strange creatures I love and yet do not understand are funny and at times just a bit overwhelming. I have Hercules and Cujo, the cats who seem determined to knock down ANY object they find that I want kept in a certain place. Of course, there is Nitro, the shep, and he loves to get active and tear my arms up when excited though he does not mean to but he is that big.

Of course, they ARE animals and even if my cats were mated somehow with a Bobcat, maybe they will be attack cats. They sure attack me when in the mood but love kids. I mean any kid can lug them around, pick them up and carry them anywhere. I pet them and they turn and attack. lol.

No wonder I have to listen to calming music and do meditation. hahahaha. Well, I am sure there are other alien animals out there as well as mine so I find comfort in the thought that I am not alone. 🙂 Just another journey with my AA’s as I now call them.

They are currently jumping from the floor to a six foot high space above my counter. Gotta love it.

Day 22:Panic and anxiety and depression

I think I will start doing these as a weekly thing and catch up each week, L.W. I am making great progress but I also have some days that bog me down. However, on those days 9 out of 10 times, I am able to overcome, although it may be a bit of a struggle. I am using about seven methods now that seem to help a lot but then again, it varies for each of us. Still, at least now I know there is hope to overcome and we just have to get through it.

So, to my fellow sufferers, we are on our journey to try and help us through by the grace of God and all things helping. I hope all of you who follow this are getting some good ideas and some help in your struggle. WE are strong, we are able to control our minds, we are able to strengthen our brain and re0train it, we are ABLE to overcome. lt is  at times so easy and  others hard during stress but that is when we really have to let it go. Yes, each day at a time.

DAY 21: Anxiety, I hate you. Panic attack, go away and never come again my way.

So today was a bit of a downer. I had a few moments BUT I was able to beat them. ANYTHING is progress though, that is for sure. Nitro kept me busy, I exercised, ten minutes twice each and I ate well. I got really tense at one point so I listened to my music, read my door page I made and overcame. God gave me the mind as well as the ability to control it.

The reality is that even if you don’t believe in God, you have to focus on a higher realm that can help. I cannot nor would I push God on someone because that is their decision and I am not ashamed of mine. I choose to believe and it is one of many powerful tools that help me through.

In this journey that is long for some of you as in years and earlier for some like me, it can be fixed. We may be broken but not beyond repair. I am becoming more positive in my thinking without losing sight of the person I am. I am learning to take the negative and shrug it off better. Someone insults you or tries to bring you down? Who cares? It has NOTHING to do with you as a person or who you are.

If they say nasty things about your anxiety, panic attacks, depression or other issue, then you don’t need them in your life. It is people like that that got us where we are now. Throw them out along with your negative thoughts into your mental trashcan. Yes, I learned some things by taking a TRUE look at myself and I am not ashamed to say I NEEDED change also.

So that is where I am now. Learning to restructure my life and my thoughts and so can you. I would like to start a group where those of us who deal with this can join and understand. But in a positive way so we can grow and overcome! So it cannot DEFEAT us anymore!


I am learning as we all can how to control this better each day. I am still not there and won’t say I am because it takes a lot of work. However, in the struggle is a win. For every battle lost is a victory won. People do not understand this illness because it is a battle of the mind to control the actions of the body.

However, the stronger we make our minds, the weaker the anxiety gets because it has been and is being pushed away. I still hold a frozen rag in a baggie at times and I still have to battle old thoughts. But it is truly our minds that will overcome our anxiety and panic. It seems hard to believe that we can re-train our brain to be more positive. Take a look back at your past and see how much was negative and how much was positive.

It could have been abuse, neglect, fear, or as in my case, I just started this battle in early last year when I got sick. I had always been in control of my body and my mind stuck on to that fear in the hospital and ran with it.

For years I was not a social butterfly and shied away from people but I also allowed other people to make me feel negative with their comments said in a “joking” way that added fuel to a fire I did not even know was coming. So now that I am learning that I have to control this with a positive thought process I am also getting stronger in my ability to stand up to negative events and people.

I am shutting doors that should have been closed long ago. No, I am not becoming a robot and I am still outspoken but I am finding it is okay to speak out but it is in a better way because I have learned I do NOT have to feel negative, scared or afraid. I stop the thought before it can enter and my success rate since I started this blog is now at 60%. I say that because 40% of me is still battling.

I know it may take a while but it sure beats the panic attacks that made me think maybe I was going insane and it beats the anxiety because I am trying not to fixate or over think things anymore. I cannot stop what other say or do but I CAN control how it affects me.

Day 19: Panic and Anxiety.

Having company today and my fellow victims of this thing we call depression, anxiety, and/or panic attacks, I think there is hope

on the horizon. Yes, we can overcome this with positive thoughts and re-training our brain. As he said in the video, we have to stand guard and be sure we are protecting the positive aspect of our brains. Bad days also? Sure. But I hope that by doing this and all of the methods I am using, that I will OVERCOME the negative and develop it into a positive. So, for example, something negative occurs. We stop the thought, control our brain and empower it to stop. WE control our brain. WE teach our brain, WE are the master of the mind God gave us.

I am still working on it so I hope it to be positive from here on and I hope that I will have the ability to overcome the negative that comes up and use it in a positive way. I have to take my focus off worry as I was doing earlier and just believe it is or will be okay. We need to learn from what works for each of us, the path back to Freedom. The freedom not to feel that panic or the ability to defeat the depression or anxiety. Try your different methods. Pick from some of mine or try your own journey to see what will work for you.

Life with Nitro II

Well sweet Nitro did good last night. We just blocked him off in the kitchen in case of another accident but he did good.

Yes, life with  Nitro can be challenging, fun, frustrating, good, and on and on but he is a wonderful pup in so many ways that

more often than not, it is worth it. Of course on  the bad days, I still harbor dreams of doggie daycare. hahahhahahaha.

I am writing these because so many shepherds are dumped due to their energy, their ability to destroy, the amount of time

people never expected they would need and so on. So DO your research AND make SURE you find a GOOD breeder.

These are awesome dogs but I am telling you from someone who did the research, it was way more than I ever imagined.

On that note, have a good day!

DAY 18: Anxiety & Panic

Good thing I listened to calming music and prayer and etc. before I got out of bed. I came downstairs to the worst smell.

The dog had an upset tum. Hub cleaned it but missed some spots sooooo yeah, not a good start.

However, I did not have any panic attacks though I did have to take a few breaths and try and relax before I got going.

I had Oatmeal (1 minute, I made and freeze in small containers each week so I can just heat and eat).

So, that is as of 11:10 a.m.

The rest of the day went well. I looked up some more free videos for my ipad on panic but the BEST I found was Bob mangroo on how to control your mind. it is really good and look for the

colorful bubble like things. It is true that we have to keep guard on our minds and it said when a negative thought comes up, immediately say, “I don’t agree with you” or cancel that

thought. “This is a must see video for us! I was thinking yesterday that it seems like I have to talk to myself all day long to stay positive BUT once you start applying his method, so far

0(only day two) it actually works. So how does that help anxiety or panic? We block that negative thought with affirming words before we allow it to come when we start to feel it. THAT

stops the attack, depression or anxiety. I also deactivated my old facebook. IF I start a new one it will only be for those who actually communicate with me. That relieved stress because

I had become dependent on it but I found more oppression than positive.

Life with Nitro

Nitro is our pup. One of three dogs. Buddy is a pap/pom mix at a topping 13 lbs, Tracer is an outside dog, a rescue who is probably about 30 lbs. Both are mild mannered and kind. Then there is Nitro. Nitro is a German Shepherd we bought and brought home at 10 weeks. It has been interesting ever since. He is now seven months old, 82 lbs.  and we love him. Let me start with that. LOL. He is a destruction magnet beyond words. He tears and eats everything. He terrorizes the cats and Buddy when he can but I usually catch him. He does not hurt them, just gives them a hard time. Tracer hates him. He does NOT play fair. Actually most all animals hate him. He is a bully and he agitates just for fun. When he was teething, my arms paid the price. The only thing we did not do correctly was check out the breeder good enough.

Now, of course I would not give him away or sell him but there are days I dream of doggy daycare. Yes, there, I admit it. He has torn the upstairs hallway carpet to shreds but no problem. I was going to replace it anyway. He has shredded my antique stool. No problem, just a few thousand dollars there. He tried to shred my couch lining but I caught him in time.  He got into the soft cat food outside twice and so, yes, I found bathroom disaster the next morning.

So, I guess most people would think, is there any good in the dog? Why, yes there is.  He is protective when he feels we are threatened and yet, he laps all over kids. He loves to be loved. He actually gets his feelings hurt if he thinks you are mad. In those times, he is a gentle giant. He is smart. He is easy to train in MOST areas. He loves to be petted. He guards over the animals even though he harasses them.

So, before you buy a Shepherd, know your facts. I studied them and about them for two years before I even considered the option. Hubby wanted one, not me. We messed up because of a bad or half breeder that my hub trusted. I should have checked her out more. BUT, all in all, I do love him. It is just a LOT of work so be prepared for it needing lots of your time, energy and attention before buying.

DAY 16 & 17: Anxiety & Panic

Saturday was good. Only had one Kodak moment. 🙂 I exercised, ate well and went to a movie. I am using my positive thoughts

and the others things I have mentioned on here before on my previous blogs. I am learning we CAN do this but it is just a long road to travel but I am seeing and making progress and so can you!

Do what feels good to you and works for you, whether it is yoga, music, an  exercise program (which I suggest daily) and I

limit my exercise at this point to two to three ten minute sessions a day.

I listen to the music with nature sounds at night and I am sometimes doing the anxiety hypnosis videos you can get free on you tube and save to favorites.

You can try whatever method works for you because we have a variety of choices.

Sunday has been good but it was different. Not really panic but just weird I guess.

Like me, remember to let go of stress that we cannot fix. The stress will NOT fix the issue, it will only make it worse. Just realize

we cannot fix what is out of our control and let it go. Imagine putting it on a boat and loading all of it up and then sailing it out to

sea. Always try breathing methods but there are some that work good for me and some that seem to make it worse. I breathe in

out through my mouth in deep breaths at times but also in small but relaxing breaths at others.

Above all, hang in there and hang on.


Yesterday went good. I was able to get through the day good, spent some time with sister and niece (awesome) .

I worked around the house (too hot outside)and I exercised for short bouts,.

I did listen to some calming music last night as I do each night (you can get them free on APPS).

I held my cool and did not panic when Nitro put a long place on my arm.

I wrote some on my ebook and it was a good day all the way around.

Music, prayer, reading, exercise, breathing, and other things I do to get my mind back where it belongs and, of course, re-training the brain.

It is all working thus far. 🙂